Thursday, December 29, 2005

Something Special

OK, enough of that stuff for a little bit. I have been working some things out, so we will get back to that stuff later. Today, I feel good. I feel positive. And I need to tell you children, and my "minions" about a foundation that a friend and I are trying to get started. (Shut up, it could happen!)

             Of late, I and a friend of mine have noticed that we(the country), are losing rednecks at an alarming rate. They aren't getting rich and moving away, or anything like that. No, we are losing them to stupidity. Not like people who are born "mentally challenged", those people can't help how they are. Rednecks gain their stupidity from over-use of alcohol, or just a plain lack of good sense as one tries to "show off" for their friends!

             I mostly blame the schools in our area. Here is why I say that. The high schools in this part of the country do not teach kids the importance of simple physics. If you know simple physics, then 'Bubba' would understand and comprehend the forces at work on a human body when he gets drunk, and jumps out of his buddy's bass boat at 40 mph! 'Bubba' would also understand that hunting from a tree-stand 35 feet off the ground while drinking is a bad idea. Too often, I have heard these fateful last words..."Hey, hold my beer, and watch this". Sadly, when we hear these words, we know that we are about to lose one of our brethern. We know that no amount of logical talk will help our friendly redneck; the only way he will survive the night is in the intensive-care ward at a local hospital. (If we are REALLY lucky, and he is REALLY stupid, we might even get to see a helicopter land somewhere that it wouldn't normally!)

            So, my friend and I started S. A. R. F. Save A Redneck Friend (I know it rhymes with "barf".) We need our rednecks. Who else would we laugh at? Who else would we see put a beer can on their head, and let an equally drunk redneck shoot it off?? You just can't buy entertainment like that! Why do I make fun of them? I am one! Too often in my younger days I uttered those famous last words...hold my beer and watch this. I beat the odds, I actually survived some of my stupider stunts. Yes, there were bruises, stiches, and the occaisional concussion, but I got through it. If we can save just one redneck to see old age...


        Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

(no rednecks were harmed in the writing of this article)

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Day Four (12-01-05)

    Standing around waiting for something to do. The nurse came at 6:00 am to get some more blood from me. They are monitoring my thyroid gland closely. I will find out if it is going down, and I can return to something like "normal" soon. I hope, that is. Not much happening today, I got my "phase two" bracelet. This means that you have been making ALL of the group sessions, and are participating in your care here.

              This also shows that you keep your room clean, and that you don't hassle the staff or clients. Whatever. I filled out the paperwork for the "phase three" bracelet. This one allows you to go outside with staff, or with another client. You can walk on the grounds of the hospital, but only for a little while. I think they give you an hour or something like that.

                 I spoke to my youngest daughter this evening...she was telling me all about the wrestling that was on Monday night. She gets so excited about that stuff! Anyway she was doing fine, so I spoke to my wife for a few minutes, then hung up, and went to the last group meeting of the day. Slow day, that's for sure.


                   Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Day Three (11-30-05)

  Third day. Still boring as hell. I called my wife last night, but there was no answer...I know where she is. She is safe, and ok. I am thinking about why I want to go back to her. I can't come up with a good reason right now. Ever since she has gotten this job of hers, everyone in her life is secondary to the job. She even refuses to introduce me to people she speaks to in public that know her...I am puzzled at this.

         The doctor has set up a meeting between my wife and me for three o'clock today....with someone between us. I have no idea what to say to her. I know that controlling myself is paramount. That is the one thing foremost on my mind. My temper is the reason that I am here. Also, the thyroid gland problem. The doctors are just now telling me that a thyroid gland running away with you can make you "crazy". Imagine that! You think someone could have told me that two years ago?

             The meeting with my wife went smoothly, sort of. She is deathly afraid of me at this point. I guess I can't really blame her. I should have been able to control the beast better than I did. I swore a long time ago that it would never come out.  I guess I was wrong. It seemed to just come all at once. After it was triggered, there was no way to stop it.

          There has emerged a group of people that sort of stick together here; Corey, Beverly, Tony, Helen, and myself. We all talk about the people we have at home. We also share a love of the same cartoons on t.v. We talk about why we are here, and we make jokes to help each other through this time here. It can be good to break the tension every now and then with these people. We jokingly call each other "crazy". One of the counselors has noticed that I am the "leader" of this small clique of people, and has told me as much.

           The staff has full access to everyone here. There are cameras everywhere. Anything you do is captured on film. This point was firmly driven home to two people in our group...they were caught sneaking into each other's rooms on different occasions. That is a definite no-no here! They have just extended their stay, that's for sure. And to answer your un-asked question, no, I was NOT one of them. Why in the hell would you start a relationshipwith someone in the same nut-ward as you are in? Seems like a risk, even without the cameras.....maybe I'm just thinking too much again.


               Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Friday, December 16, 2005

Day Two---11-29-05

  Not much sleep last night...I expected as much. I hate different places, and it doesn't get much 'different' than here. They are doing 15 minute checks on me, so that means that every 15 minutes, someone will open the door to the room, and shine a flashlight in to see if I haven't hung myself with the curtains, or maybe jumped out the window. Idiots.

              Each morning you have to set a "goal", something that is attainable by the end of the day. You should hear some of the "goals" set by the clients;  "Clean up my room"; "Take a shower"; "See the doctor"; All of these are things that you would do anyway...these are not "goals"...these are everyday actions! Geez, what a bunch of morons.

            I don't have a goal for today, I just want to get through the day, or not, I don't really care either way at this point. I feel as if there is no fight left in me, I have given up completely...I just feel so damn tired.

                 At the first group meeting of the day, someone reads from a small book. It is some sort of "inspirational" crap written by someone with more problems than I have, that's for sure! But the first thing on the page is a bible verse. Yeah, like the bible ever solved anything. Is it even legal to force religion on someone? Especially people in a mental ward? That doesn't seem right, somehow. I listen to the reading, and then I am scolded by the nurse because I scoff at the notion that religion can solve your problems....I find it Ironic that most people here are suffering from things that cannot manifest themselves as "real", but these same people are asked to believe in something that is as abstract as religion.  Maybe I just think too much? Maybe they will give me some drugs.........

                  Later today, I met a woman named "Anna", she is one of the counselors here. She is also a very smart person, a light at the end of the tunnel. She runs the anger management groups...and she is good at it. She sets up different things for you to figure out, then shoots your ideas full of holes. I know this sounds bad, but she actually lets you see the barriers we put up for ourselves. It is uncanny howshe can do that. She bears further scrutiny...


                  Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Day One;

 Day One-11-28-05.....10:00 pm

         I have been here since about 1:00 pm today. I don't like it here. I have been here before, and I didn't like it then, either. I view everyone around me as a threat to my "well-being", such as it is at this point in time. I need to write this quickly, as it is lights out at 10:00 pm. Someone actually telling me when to go to bed?? That's just fucking great! Hell, I am twice as old as most of the staff here. They can't hope to tell me shit---they don't have the years, or the experience that I do.

               Most of the "clients"(their word, not mine) here are ok. By that I mean that at least they aren't down on all fours, and barking at people. For the most part, they seem well behaved; let's hope they stay that way. I refuse to take any shit from anyone, and they will learn that lesson if they get too close to me. So far, the nurses and aids have told everyone to leave me alone for now. I am in a really bad mood, and I don't care who knows it.

                10:30 pm...they just announced "lights out". Fuck 'em, I can write in the bathroom. I have a guy in the room with me in the other bed. He seems ok, but he is a drug addict. I can't understand someone with a good working brain putting that shit into their body....I have enough problems with my head, I surely don't need that shit! Oh, well, to each his own.

                   I can't sleep. The scenes from the night before keep playing over and over in my mind. It is like a bad movie that you can't turn off. Never ending, just running in a continuos loop. What are the scenes from the night before? I can't tell you would be admitting to a crime. It was horrible, some of the things that I did. I was lucky I stopped when I did. When I woke up this morning, and I was still seething with rage, I knew I needed some help. If I didn't get some help, things would soon be out of my control......


         Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Thanks to All

   Well, I am starting to feel a bit better. Things are by no means perfect, but I think I am setting them straight. For those of you that wrote to me here, and privately, I thank you very much. I have a good help base here at home, but I also have friends out there on the 'net. Mairia, I am always glad to hear from you! Just because someone doesn't agree with me is no sign that I hate them.

                    I chronicled every day that I was in the hospital...believe it or not, I actually wrote it out on paper, by hand! I will begin to put it all here for all of you to read. I must tell you that I was a mess when I finally got to the hospital. I was told later that I was raving about killing everyone in sight. Definitely not one of my better days. Thanks to some good people on-staff at the hospital, and some quick blood-work, they were able to help me get better. I still have a lot of fences to mend here at home....


              Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Back Again---

Well, here I am, back again. I have just spent a little over a week in the local nut-farm. On Sunday night, November 27, I completely wigged out...I even did some things that scared me! The next day, I decided to call someone for some help. I called the local Mental Health Services, and told them to come and lock me up. I was totally out of my head due to a bad thyroid gland that was suffering from a huge chemical imbalance, and, of course, my own paranoid delusions; a bad combination for anyone.

                  I spent just over a week there, and came home this past Tuesday evening. Now I have to repair the damage done here at home by me when I wigged out. As you might have guessed, I kept track of my days at the nut farm by writing notes so I could put it all right here. It isn't much, but it might give you some insight into my mind....if you even want to go there.

                   There is probably more that I want to say right now, but I can't think of it, so I will just leave this.  I have started a new medicine for my head, so maybe this will work. I really miss my used to keep me fairly level. Such is the luck...


                        Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Sunday, November 27, 2005

The Hatred Burns---

 This Night, the Very Heavens Themselves Will Be Set Alight With the Burning Fires of Hatred..............And I shall Be The One With The Matches!!!!!!!!!!

Rayne Is Her Name---

....When last we left our Vampyre Lady, everyone wanted to know her name. Rayne, Rayne is her name. I seem to recall that she wanted to leave Vlad; but not just leave him, destroy him, is more like it. And Rayne knows Vlad's one weakness....his love for her!


           Vlad had forsaken all others for her...a lifetime of lifetimes. All for one woman. And now, that one woman would be his very undoing! His stupid, unselfish, completely unyeilding LOVE for Rayne would be his downfall. No one could get closer than her, no one could destroy him so completely as she could.


            It would come from out of nowhere...he would be totally  blindsided! The devastation would be complete, and Rayne and her lover would reign over ALL VAMPYRES everywhere. Vlad was "The First", the top Vampyre. Removing him would leave Rayne in complete control of the Vampyre Nation.....


            Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

I Couldn't Have Said it Better....

To Kill an American

You probably missed it in the rush of news last week, but there was actually
a report that someone in Pakistan had published in a newspaper an offer of a
reward to anyone who killed an American, any American.

So an Australian dentist wrote an editorial the following day to let
everyone know what an American is ... so they would know when they found
one. (Good one, mate!!!!)

" An American is English, or French, or Italian, Irish, German, Spanish,
Polish, Russian or Greek.
An American may also be Canadian, Mexican, African, Indian, Chinese,
Japanese, Korean, Australian, Iranian, Asian, or Arab, or Pakistani, or

An American may also be a Comanche, Cherokee, Osage, Blackfoot, Navaho,
Apache, Seminole or one of the many other tribes known as native Americans.

An American is Christian, or he could be Jewish, or Buddhist, or Muslim.
In fact, there are more Muslims in America than in Afghanistan. The only
difference is that in America they are free to worship as each of them

An American is also free to believe in no religion. For that he will answer
only to God, not to the government, or to armed thugs claiming to speak for
the government and for God.

An American lives in the most prosperous land in the history of the world.
The root of that prosperity can be found in the Declaration of Independence,
which recognizes the God given right of each person to the pursuit of

An American is generous. Americans have helped out just about every other
nation in the world in their time of need, never asking a thing in return.

When Afghanistan was over-run by the Soviet army 20 years ago, Americans
came with arms and supplies to enable the people to win back their country!

As of the morning of September 11, Americans had given more than any other
nation to the poor in Afghanistan.
Americans welcome the best of everything ? the best products, the best
books, the best music, the best food, the best services. But they also
welcome the least.

The national symbol of America, The Statue of Liberty, welcomes your tired
and your poor, the wretched refuse of your teeming shores, the homeless,
tempest tossed. These in fact are the people who built America.

Some of them were working in the Twin Towers the morning of September 11,
2001 earning a better life for their families. It's been told that the World
Trade Center victims were from at least 30 different countries, cultures,
and first languages, including those that aided and abetted the terrorists.

So you can try to kill an American if you must.
Hitler did. So did General Tojo, and Stalin, and Mao Tse-Tung, and other
blood-thirsty tyrants in the world.
But, in doing so you would just be killing yourself. Because Americans are
not a particular people from a particular place. They are the embodiment of
the human spirit of freedom. Everyone who holds to that spirit, everywhere,
is an American.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

'Da Rules---

                       'Da   Rules


The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear
"the rules"
the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it.  That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.  See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1 If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant
the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not
A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1 If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
       These are the rules as seen by us guys....learn them!         Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Monday, November 21, 2005

The Amazing Shrinking Man

Looking at my last entry, I see that I can sometimes have a sense of humor...or not. Some people thought it was funny, some didn't. If you thought it was funny, good on you! If you didn't, Piss off. As long as there are people on this Earth, someone will talk about someone else; and not always favorably. Life sucks, then you die...that's all there is, folks!

              As I look back at it, I could have been far more sarcastic than I was...and maybe I should have been. I do not apologize for what amounts to MY OPINION. There is still an American Flag waving at my local courthouse. And since I have served in this country's Armed Forces, I am far more entitled to my opinion than a lot of these liberal pansies running around. I say, "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke"!!!

            As well as a weird sense of humor, I seem to have inherited a strange personality. No doubt this is due to the mental illness that my mother, and her mother before her, shared. I can be quirky, high strung, moody, and just downright f'ing mean. The sad part of this?? I don't care most of the time! So, if I put a joke here, and you are offended...please tell me. Hell, I need something to laugh at, too!! You will do nicely...


                   Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Let Us Help You!!!

Well, well, it seems that terroists in Iraq are becoming increasingly desperate!! They have now moved to actually killing Muslim civilians at Hotels, Funerals, and even sending suicide bombers into Mosques! Can you believe this shit? Killing their own people in their places of worship! Shit!

           I am here to help. I would like to offer my services, and that of a bunch of "Good Ol' Boys", also. Mr. Terrorist, if you would allow us, we would LOVE to come there and help you blow up ALL THE MUSLIMS you can find for us!!! And don't worry, we won't lay down on the job like those pussy suicide bombers! My guys and me are good for A LOT of bombings!! We won't die on the first one, that way we can carry out LOTS of bombings!! Hell, we would do it just for beer money!!

          PLEASE CONTACT ME!!! I can round up a shitload of fellas that are just rarin' to help you blow up ALL of Iraq!!! Call me, come to my house(you might want to state your business while in the street, to forgo any "accidental shooting"), hell, Email me!! We can be ready to go in a minute's notice!!! We are here to help YOU!!! We have been telling you this all along...America is here to help!!

         If you choose not to enlist my help with killing your own people, then PLEASE contact the United States Army(again, you may want to state your intentions from a good distance). I was in the Army as a Diesel Mechanic, and I have first-hand knowledge that the Army trains men for just this kind of thing! Hell, they have plenty of men already there, and they are equipped with PLENTY of explosive ordinance! I am 100% SURE that they would be willing to help you in this endeavor. Shit, I dare say that they would also do it for beer money alone!! You just can't beat this deal!!!

           So, PLEASE, if you need help killing your fellow Muslims, be they Sheite, or Sunni, just HOLLA', and I will be there for you. Nothin' but love, brother!!


Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Dating for the New Millenium

  ",, and many others. Ahhh, the age of computer dating. Lovely, ain't it? Let a machine pick out someone for you to love. How sick is that? I finally found my one true love after many false starts and failed attempts. But it wasn't all bad...I like to sample the buffet before I order the steak!!

             I know, I hear from my male friends, "the girls are all so shallow, they only want money!". And from the girls..."all the guys want is sex". I hate to say this, but both sides are right. Women like security, and someone who can relate to them. Men....well, it's true, we are dogs. We want sex. We crave sex. We NEED sex. We just happen to be more up-front about it than females.

              So, what to do? Ladies, if you want someone who will attend to your every need, agree with you all of the time, and always compliment you on your choice of clothing, go find yourself a gay man. He can surely satisfy ALL of these needs. Guys, if you want a woman who never says "no", they can be purchased for about $75.00 at any reputable sex shop!

              So, should we let computers find our 'perfect match' for us? Sure, if you want some brainless idiot who compares to YOU IN EVERY WAY. Go right ahead! But, if you want someone to love you because you are YOU, do it the old fashioned way. If you want someone who will piss you off every now and then, who will force you to see your mistakes, and who will let you know that you are truly it the old way.

              If you want someone who will occasionally test your very last good nerve, do it the old fashioned way. If you want someone OTHER than a clone of YOU, do it the old fashioned way. Computers are good for WORK, not love. That comes from the heart, and the mind, NOT some damn circuit boards!!!   Questions, comments, abusive remarks? You know where to find me!


                     Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Wednesday, November 9, 2005

And Once Again---Babes with Guns

  I was just flipping through my electronic mail here, and found a letter from a friend of mine about school shootings. Then I hear that another shooting just occured at a school this morning! What the hell is going on here? Has society COMPLETELY fallen apart? What the hell are the parents doing with these kids??????

                 I have raised two daughters, somewhat successfully, I tend to think. I also own guns...hand guns, shotguns, whatever. Neither one of my girls EVER talked of taking a gun to school to settle something! Now, to be fair, they did always expect me to go there to intimidate teachers and the principal! Which I would gladly do, of course. But even then, I never used a gun to get my message across.

                In a way, I sort of hate guns, but I happen to own them, so that is a paradox...and a strange one at that. I no longer hunt, so I keep them knowing that at sometime I may need to defend my home and family against an intruder....maybe. I have been in some very 'touchy' situations before, with some very volatile persons, and have never pulled out a gun.

             Once a gun comes out, there can be only ONE END. Someone ends up shot. If you need a gun, then you have exhausted all of your options, now you must decide if you can kill someone...or let them take your gun and kill you. Neither outcome is a good one. This is just what I was talking about earlier...I won't say that ANY kind of music causes kids to do these things. I will say that MOST of the blame lies with the parents.

           My oldest daughter has moved out, started a family, and I STILL know who most of her friends are.(you can NEVER know everything). I can name my youngest girl's friends as well. I know where she is every minute of every day. So far, she hasn't gotten bold enough to skip school, but when she does, I will deal with it.

            Do I hide my guns? From my grandchildren, yes. From my girls and my wife? Certainly not! They know what guns are for, and what they can do to people. They understand that a gun is a TOOL. Like a hammer, it has a specific job to do, and that is just what it does. GUNS KILL THINGS. They are not toys, they are not art, they are not phallic symbols. They are, quite simply, specialized tools. No more, no less.

              Now, next will come the allegations that some video-game caused this young boy to do this shooting. Bullshit! Someone at that school pissed this kid off, and more than likely just pushed him aside; maybe he didn't run with the "popular" crowd, maybe he wasn't a jock. Who knows? I find it strange that this child went straight for the administration at his school, and not after students. Someone needs to do some looking in that direction.

               In my dealings with teachers here, we have some who need a break from teaching. They have had their jobs too long. You can see it in their eyes, in the way that they treat certain students. Hell, I have a nephew that was tied up, and had duct tape put on his mouth in school!! He was just a little kid at the time, first or second grade. I saw this same boy snatched completely off the ground by just one arm when he was in third grade by a male teacher.

           At the time I saw this, I didn't pay attention to the child, only the teacher. I took the child from him, and told him to pick on someone his size....and since I was right there, I was most certainly available! Only later did I find out that the child he was abusing was my nephew. It didn't matter at the time, it was a small child being man-handled by a two-hundred pound grown man. No one could just stand by and watch that.

             We need to identify kids who have short fuses. We need to teach older kids that it is wrong to tease and harm ANYONE.  We need to do away with "cliques" in schools. We need to go to school uniforms, so no one gets pushed around because of what they wear. And, mostly, PARENTS NEED TO BE INVOLVED IN THEIR KID'S LIVES!!!!!!!!!

              Don't tell me you are too busy with work. That's bullshit. I managed to work 16 hour days in a hot, dirty factory. Worked to the bone, and just as tired, I always had time for my little girls. Let's put the blame right where it belongs....with the parents. No more, no less.


Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Of Men and "Music"

  It is no secret that I hate rap music. It sucks. It only glorifies violence, drugs, and calling women 'bitches' and 'ho's'. It is the most base, and stupid shit that I have ever heard. It is a sad day when we let our children's heroes become drug dealers, pimps, and pushers.

            Now, wait, I hear you out there...."hey, didn't YOU yourself do lots of bad things when you were younger? Aren't you being just a little self-righteous?" No, I am simply being self-aware. A lot of the things I did were wrong, and took advantage of people's circumstances, to my own good, or for profit. I never said it was right, and I think most of my message was "DON'T BE LIKE ME". I never glorified anything that I did to someone else.

             Now, here comes this '50 Cent' rapper. They made a movie about his life. So he was shot nine times. So what? If you are into dealing drugs, it just comes with the job. Sort of an "occupational hazzard". Don't come crying to everybody that you were shot, then Medicaid has to pay to keep you alive. Shut up, die, or get over it! And in that vein, I wrote the following......


                     (sung to the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies)

       Come and listen to my story of a man named '50 Cent',

        He made a lot of drug money, but now it's all been spent.

          When one day while he was shootin' up some drugs,

          Up from the street popped a couple of thugs.

           (record producers)

            "Rappin' 50, that's where the money's at,

              Get some new clothes, and a funky fresh hat".

               Well the first thing you know, 50 Cent's a millionaire,

               Folks lookin' at his fresh new ride,

               He said, "Hey, get away from there;

               Back in the ghetto is where y'all belong...

               So get along little doggies, get along!"


Really, don't take this rap crap too seriously. I listen to real music. Music that has something extra, where the singers have something....what is the word I am looking for? Oh, yeah, TALENT! That's it, TALENT.


Questions, comments, abusive remarks......recording contracts? You always know where to find me.

                Holla' If You Hear Me!!!


Monday, November 7, 2005

Words to Live By?

    It has been brought to my attention that our human language is woefully inadequate. Think of it this way; describe to me the difference between a lemon and a lime, then try to describe the difference in taste? we just don't have the words for such things.

               Try to explain love, hate, or any other human emotion. You simply  cannot do it. For someone to understand just what you are talking about, they MUST have experienced it themselves. Once you realize this, talking to someone takes on a new meaning. "Am I making my point understood to this person"?  "Am I using the right words"?  "Am I even sure that what I am saying makes any sense"?

                 Now, I can  "turn a phrase" with the best of them. I consider myself to be somewhat of a wordsmith. I know many 'big' words that hardly seem appropriate here. I know some, if not ALL, of the most base words that our language has to offer. Still, I could never describe love to someone who doesn't know it...the taste of salt...the smell of a summer rain in the middle of the day...what a small child smells like. You know it, that smell that all babies have.

              Try to describe just how a rose smells to someone sometime..."Words to Live By"? Which ones?  Questions, comments, abusive remarks?? You know where to find me!!


                              Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Friday, November 4, 2005

A Bounty On My Head

  Ok, about 19 years ago,(I can't believe it was that long ago!), there were these drug dealers in our small town. Just small time hoods, really, nothing major. I happen to have a younger brother who is very stupid. He actually owed LOTS of money to these assholes for drugs. No more than a few hundred dollars, but he still owed it to them. After all, he got the 'product', and used it for what it was intended.

               These guys came after my brother, and naturally, he came to me. I told him I would not help him...he made this mess(not his first time), and he could clean it up. The bad thing was, he lived with our grandmother. It wasn't long before they went after her....then I got involved.

              Any time I caught them sitting in their car making 'deals', I would break it up! Any time I saw them in town, I did everything to make their life a living hell. The cops wouldn't do anything, so I did it myself. Before too long, word got back to me that one of these guys had a "contract" out on me. He wanted someone to shoot me. And he was willing to pay....$100.00 for my head.

             $100.00??????? I was so pissed off, I couldn't see straight! That was ALL I was worth to him? A Hundred dollars?? Fuck that!! I wanted his dare he only offer $100.00 for me!! I made his life hell, and finally caught the guy that took up the "contract".  I confronted him in front of a now gone gas station here in town. This young man was standing there talking to a few of his friends, telling them about his up-coming "payday".

               I just sort of pulled up in my car, and walked right up to the group. I asked him point-blank about his intentions. He stated that I was to be "eliminated" by him. This started me to laughing...I told him that he wouldn't live through the day. "You see", I said to him, "if you look at the door of my car, you will see a shotgun barrell, and a fine young lady holding it. That fine young lady was my wife, and the gun was loaded. This young man was informed that ANY movement from him would be considered hostile, and he would surely suffer dire consequences quickly.

             Before I turned to go back to my car, I told him that it ended there. I would give him no further warning. The next time he saw me, it would be too late for him. He left town that day. Later, the drug dealers left town. It was just too much trouble to sell with me breathing down their necks.


              Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Thursday, November 3, 2005

Rules For Men

  Ok, so my wife sent this to me...I had to share it with all of you. This should get your giggler going...



1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
3. If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.
4. Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald."
5. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
6. Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.
7. If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a man during play-off season.
8. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
9. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.
10. All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals.
11. The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
12. Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to know.
13. Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
14. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.
15. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
16. Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.
17. All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwarzkopf.
18. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
19. Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
20. All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
21. Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man.
22. Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
23. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
24. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed; get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."
25. Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.
26. If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.
27 If you're dating a man who you think might be "Mr. Right," if he a) got older, b) got a new job, or c) visited a psychiatrist, you are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.
28. Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
29. No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
30. When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
31. When four or more women get together, they talk about men.
32. Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.
33. Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.
34. Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"
35. If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget... he didn't lose your number... he didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.
36. Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each other."
37. Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of sight of women.
38. Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying, "I love you... I want to marry you... I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks.
39. Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: "Mitch, you look great." Mitch:"Thanks." On the other side:"Ruth, you look great." Ruth: "I do? Must be the lighting."
40. Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network.
41. Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
42. Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
43. Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
44. Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with superheros. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
45. When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
46. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause - you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.
47. Men forget everything; women remember everything.
48. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.
49. Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
50. All men would still really like to own a train set.

"On the Cheap".

   Gather 'round, children, and listen to my tale of the cheapest man alive. Umm, that would be ME, in case you are wondering. If anyone knows anything about me, it is two things---I am a pack-rat, and I am cheap! I never throw out anything. If I can't fix it, then surely it has parts that I will need later on! This keeps me in constant conflict with the wife.

              Last week, we had a small fan to quit working. I said I would "get to it" sometime or other. This is standard 'man-talk'; it simply means that we will have a look at it, and determine if it can be fixed...with no cost to us. Seeing as how us men are so much smarter than women, we can sometimes fix these little things!!(you can stop laughing  now)

             So, I bring the fan in today, did I mention that it rained last week? While this fan was on the porch? Yes, I have a porch, I am a redneck, remember? Anyway, I bring it in, and completely dis-assemble it. The darn thing was clogged with hair! This has long been a problem with fans in my house. Both of my daughters have hair down past their knees. It seems that their hair just gets into everything.

                Well, I was able to bring the little fan back from the dead. Yes, he is sitting in my kitchen, just humming along. I do this frequently with small home appliances. People tend to throw things out that still have a usefull life. I still own the little hand mixer that someone got us when we got married 23 years ago. And, yes, it works! I have had to take it apart, and grease the little bearings in it, but it still works!

             I guess that I am fortunate that I am able to fix things that go wrong. I used to work on cars. In the Army, I was a diesel mechanic. Tanks, trucks, whatever. All this, and I make jewelry too! I guess you could say that I have it all!!


               Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Wednesday, November 2, 2005

Dammed if you do....etc.

 So, here I am, online, and yakking at you. Through the "magic" of 'ma Bell', I have purchased "Unlimited Long Distance Dialing", for the ridiculous price of more than $70.00 per month. This way, when I dial out on my pc, it doesn't cost me over $600.00 per month! (and believe me, they tried to charge me that much my first month!) Crooked bastards!

                  So, I ask, why is it that when I actually make a call to someone, and it is long distance, I am charged for it? Plus state tax, federal tax, and some kind of 'sur-charge'? I swear, if 'Ma Bell gets any closer to me, I will need some Vaseline, and a Latex Condom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even my wife rarely gets that close to me! Someone is getting screwed, and I think it is ME! And I ain't even getting kissed! Shit, I ain't even getting a reach-around!

                 Funny thing. I learned that it was illegal to have a monopoly on something in the fifth grade. When I asked the teacher "why is the Bell Telephone Network not considered a monopoly", I was told that it was 'different' for the telephone company. I never understood that; a monopoly is still a monopoly. In 1978, the U.S. Government proved my point for me. I guess teachers don't know everything!

           Now, we have a 'diversified' telephone company. This seems to mean that Bell Telephone Company can screw everyone as THEY see fit. Oh, sure, there are 'other' phone companies, but Bell still holds all of the cards. Ain't America great?   Questions, comments, abusive remarks? You know where to find me!!!!!!!


        Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Friday, October 28, 2005

It Is Time...

   Since you have followed me this far, then you should know some of the rest of my story, and my life. On a cool October evening, I walk out to my bike. I straddle her, and look her over. She is midnight black, sleek, fast, and I know every inch of her. I know her better than a husband knows his wife. I tell her things that I would tell no one else. She keeps my secrets, and whispers them to the wind. She is beautiful.

              "She" is the only female who will go with me this night...only men are allowed in the "clubhouse" this night. I would crawl on my hands and knees over broken glass to get there tonight. Tonight, I become one of the few; I become a full-fledged BIKER. You see, tonight is the end of a year-long quest. MY QUEST. Tonight is my initiation, I can't miss it.

           Key on, fuel-tank petcock valve on, two twists of the throttle, and then I come down hard on the kick-starter. The engine coughs, and sputters. Damn, fuel mixture is too rich for the cold air. I'll fix it later. Two more kicks, and the engine roars to life, shattering the silence of the evening. A full 1,000 cc's of Milwaukee Iron coming to life with "shorty" pipes, and no mufflers. No words on Earth can describe the feelings I have at that moment. I pull out into light traffic.

                     At the clubhouse, everyone is there, waiting for me. Normally, everyone would be drinking, smoking, whatever. Not tonight, at least, not yet. Everyone will be sober for this occasion. There are 25 men here, men who are my friends, men who I have worked with, drank with, smoked with, men who I look up to. Only one man here will not hit me this night...for the others, their job is clear. They will try to make me walk away from this life. "Nervous" is a realative term this night.

                  They line up, twelve men in two lines, facing each other. Each man has a long leather strap. If I can WALK, not run, through these 24 men hitting me with these straps, and not quit, or give up, then I am in. Each man can hit you as long as he can reach you, without him moving from his spot. These men enjoy this part of the "ceremony". The only thing that keeps my fears at bay is the knowledge that I will truly be one of them after this....and the fact that I can get as drunk and as high as I need to to ease the pain afterwards.

         I start down the rows of my fellow bikers. The first of many blows hits me across the back. It feels as if someone has just opened my skin and set fire to me! Another blow lands, then another. I grit my teeth, and wince under the pain. Any hopes I had of my friends "going easy" on me have been erased. This is how they got in, and they do not take it lightly.

              To spare you all of the grisly details, I made it through. I didn't stumble or fall. I did stop once, and figured out quickly that was a bad idea. I won't say that I came through like a champ, but I came through.

              Was it all worth it? I think it was....but then, I am made of different stuff than other people. The one man who didn't hit me? The leader of the club, "the prez". It was his job to tell me if I made it or not. He said the three sweetest words in the world to me; "You made it".


         "Holla' If You Hear Me!!!"

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

The Mysteries of "Writer's Block"

  I was searching for something 'profound', or 'sage-like' to write for today. Searching myself, NOT the internet. I couldn't find anything!?  My muse seems to have left me again, for a time. I try to give her just 'a little space', and she forgets where she should be. Then it hit me, write about females...the Bane of every man; a woman. I fear that this may end badly for me when certain females read this..........

                Men; we are simple animals, really. Sort of like "human dogs". Throw us some food, a little beer, TV, and a little sex once in a while, and we are content. When we marry, it is usually for life....we positively HATE CHANGE. Why do you think we keep underwear untill you can see through it? We are not hard to figure out. Tell us you want to go somewhere, we only need time enough to get the car keys, and we are ready!

                 Men shopping? That mainly consists of us walking through the store and putting things into the buggy that look interesting to eat. There is no more thought than that to it, girls. Eating out? Steak and potatoes will do just fine---we could care less what them damn "frenchies" are eating! Anything with ketchup is just fine. Oh, yeah, and a couple of beers to wash it down with.

                 Females...if you want to go out, let's say at 8:00 pm, you start getting ready at 3:00 pm! And you are almost ALWAYS LATE!!! In those five hours, we can change the oil in the car, mow the lawn, and catch a ball game on tv! Oh, yeah, and wash it all down with a few beers! And let's not forget the obligatory "does this make me look fat"? quote from you girls. Look, if you are a size 16, don't try to fit into a size 8 dress, because, yes, it WILL make you look fat! Wear what is comfortable...we love you no matter what your size. If we didn't, we wouldn't still be there for you to ask the question to!

                 And, please, if you want to hang pictures, or do other things around the house for yourselves that requires you to read a tape-measure, LEARN TO READ IT!!!  You simply cannot measure something, and then tell me it is "16 inches, and some dots"!!!!! That just doesn't work! And STOP buying those damn 'teddy-bear' checks! Do you realize how goofy it looks when we go to Home Depot, and write on those damn things?? It just isn't right.

              The whole point to this exercise is to point out that women are FAR DIFFERENT from men. I guess that book is right, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. I just don't see HOW we ever get along together with all of the differences between us. Or, maybe it is because of those differences......................I leave that up to you to decide.


                       Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

I have been quit for 1 Year, 10 Months, 2 Weeks, 1 Day, 18 hours, 27 minutes and 56 seconds (685 days). I have saved $1,800.13 by not smoking 24,001 cigarettes. I have saved 2 Months, 3 Weeks, 8 hours and 5 minutes of my life.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

All Quiet on the Southern Front

    Well, things have been sort of quiet of late. I am still eagerly awaiting 'All Hallows Eve'. This is always my favorite time of the year. From now untill about April. I love the winter. I have no idea why, but I do. I always have!

              Even as a child, I couldn't wait for the lead-grey skies of winter. Summer is ok, but I prefer winter. I have heard all of the stories about people getting "cabin-fever" in the winter.....NOT ME!! Give me low temps, and plenty of SNOW!!!

                 "But flowers don't bloom in winter", you say. Who needs 'em? They just bring bees, and I am allergic to bee-stings. Besides, artificial flowers look just fine to me...and they have the added advantage of NOT DYING! "Nuclear Winter"??? Bring it on! Hell, I am ready for it.

                  Now for the bad news....I keep hearing that our heating bill will go way up this winter. Sounds kind of stupid to me, especially since I use natural gas, and the pumping station is just three miles from my house!! We do not import natural is found HERE. We EXPORT plenty of it. I have seen the ships on tv that handle it. But yet, it will go up just as much as crude oil from the middle east. I say that something is definitely rotten in Denmark!!!


Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Sunday, October 9, 2005

Of Horses and Men

   As most of you already know, I have a fondness for 'steel-horses'----motorcycles. I grew up with them, and, consequently, grew to love them. I also grew up with real horses...I never really liked them too much. They tend to be just like women---too unpredictable! Jumpy, too!

                 As further proof of this, we got a frantic call from our oldest daughter Friday night. She and her husband own two horses, both wild, and un-broken(first mistake). Seems her husband climbed onto the mare that they own, my daughter had just gotten off of her, "she was acting funny", she said to him(second mistake). He decides to tie down her lead rope to a post(last mistake), and then climb on her. This horse is wild, not even broke to a bridle, and they have a SADDLE on her. From what little I know about breaking horses, I know that you DO NOT just throw a saddle on a wild one, then climb on it! BIG MISTAKE!!!

              Well, the son-in-law is now in the hospital with a shattered leg, and the possibility that he could lose his foot. The doctors have already done two surgeries, and there will need to be more. When the horse threw him(was there ever any doubt as to this happening?), he went one way, and his leg another, plus, his foot got caught in the stirrup, and his weight caused him to twist, snapping BOTH bones in his lower leg, and almost completely disconnecting his foot from his leg. He is, I imagine, in terrible pain. It will be four months before he can even walk again, IF he doesn't lose the foot. Looks like I get the grandkids back for awhile.

              With my daughter going back to work, and her husband laid up, I guess I have to go back on "Grandpa Patrol" for a little while. See, steel horses are better. They only throw you when you act stupid, or get too stoned to be on them to start with. Thanks, but I think that I will just stick with the steel horse.....they are safer!!


Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Tuesday, October 4, 2005

An Ephiphany! (Maybe)

    Here I am again! I was in LOTS of pain yesterday...I could barely walk. My wife won out, and I went to the doc for a shot to kill the pain, and I feel better today. I was just glad she was home yesterday; she knows I would never ask her to take off from work just to take me to the doctor. Anyway.....

              It is no secret at my home that I have always been interested in 'prophets', or 'seers'. I think I have come up with a new theory. My theory states that NO ONE can know the future. It just can't happen. I hope to show you why I think that way. I just hope I can help you, the reader, to understand my point of view, and then have you form YOUR OWN OPINION. Even if it is different from mine.

                Think of 'time' as we know it, as a line. On this line are three points, and the line is finite. It might look something like this;  A_________B________C.  (A) represents the PAST. This has already happened. (B) represents NOW, what IS happening. (C) is the FUTURE...this has NOT happened yet. Are you still with me? Trust me, it isn't very complicated, I know, it came from my head.

                  Here is where it might get a little tricky.The line MUST remain STRAIGHT between (A) and (B), because this has been, and is now. But the line to (C) is not so straight.That is because this has not been. Anything could change the path to (C). You could be headed toward (C), and get sidetracked, thus, (C) would be arrived at later, or sooner, thereby changing what (C) would have been. Do you follow me so far? As things go, and all things being equal, there are numerous paths to (C), simply because it has NOT happened yet.

                You could sneeze in a diner, and change the future...or not. The possibilities are endless.  As much as I love to read from prophets past, I just think that no one could know the future. Questions, comments, abusive remarks? You know where to find me!!


                Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Thursday, September 29, 2005


I got a visit from the grandchildren today.  They are just as lively as ever. I love to see them, but it is still strange to hear someone call me "pop-pop". I just never thought that I would be around this long. Which brings me to my next paragraph.....

            Last night, I drank a lot of beer, and then took every 'Trazadone' pill that I had. There were only four, but they are very strong. Usually, just taking ONE will put me out in a half-hour. Imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning? That sort of sucked.  Why would I try to 'do myself in', you might ask?

             Pain....pure and simple. Just pain. I sometimes grow weary of the daily pain that I endure. I try to remain 'up' about things, but it just gets the better of me sometimes. But, there is one consolation....I still have refills on my prescription....


         Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

The Witching Season

  Once again, the days grow shorter, the air is just a little bit 'crisper' in the evening, and there is just that hint of Northern Air in the night chill. Yes, Autumn is here again, time for the "Witching Season". And a fine one it will be this year!

            I can't wait for Halloween; All Hallows Eve...the night when Goblins, ghosts, and the dead are supposed to walk among us. I love the crisp night air, the smell of burning leaves(people can still do that here!), and the full Harvest Moon! For Dragons, there can be no better season!

      Come, and join me in my revellie at the Witching won't regret it. "Save a frog, Kiss a Witch!!!"


Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Monday, September 26, 2005

"The Sight"

 I have a confession to make....I read everything I can find about 'seers', 'prophets', so called 'mind-walkers'. There is a reason for this. Since I was small, I could sort of 'see' things that had not happened yet. My mother swore she was "psychic"; I always thought that she was just 'psycho'. But something she once said to me when I was about 12 years old has bothered me all my life.

             She told me one day, after I spoke to her about one of my "visions", that "when the Elder passes on, the junior will see with new eyes". I always thought it was just some of my mom's baloney. I am re-thinking that notion now. When this hurricane Katrina hit, I told my wife that it wasn't over yet. I told her there was another natural disaster on the heels of that one. I had no idea another hurricane was coming, but I knew it would be something big.

          Since my mother's murder last year, I seem to have more, and clearer "visions". Now, I am the first to wave a red flag on these types of things...I simply DO NOT BELIEVE in stuff like this. I have never believed this stuff, and I always thought my mom was just "nuts", so I never paid her any attention. I think now that I was wrong. I think there are things in this world that we can never comprehend, or understand. Call it what you will, 'second-sight', de ja vu, whatever, it seems to be happening more to me now.

              Coincidence? Wishful thinking? Hmmm, I wonder what Nostradamus would say?


Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Rollin' Along

   Well, it has been a week since I was last here. Within that time frame nothing has happened. That's right, nothing. I did manage to sell several of my necklaces, all at a nice little profit for myself. It seems that I will never get rich at this, but I get something almost as good as money. Everytime someone orders one, I love to see the look on their face when I give it to them! I have not had a dissatisfied customer yet. It has to happen sometime, I know, but for now, my record is intact.

                 I see where "The Big Easy" has been re-flooded. I hope that city can seems unlikely at this point, I hope I am wrong about this. Here's a good one---the people of Texas had to run from Rita, as did the already displaced people from Mississippi and Louisiana! Ain't that a bitch. Now, there are those that would call this the "End Times". You know, the religious nuts out there. But I am here to tell you, this is just a lot of bad weather...the world IS NOT going to end. Sorry, guys.

           I hear you already, "What qualifies you to say that?". Well, quite frankly, NOTHING!! The same nothing that the 'doomsayers' base THEIR ideas on. So, I guess we cancel each other out! Screw 'em if they can't take a joke!! HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                That's about all the news that's fit to print. I will be back, you can count on that. A redneck with a typewriter is a dangerous thing; A redneck with a COMPUTER is an  unstoppable force!!!!!!!!


Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Friday, September 16, 2005

This Is Right?

  As I am writing this, I am in the middle of reading yet another book. Yes, some of us in the South actually read something other than roadsigns. The name of this book is The Mammoth Book of Nostradamus and Other Prophets. It was written by a British author by the name of Damon Wilson. This book covers not just Nostradamus, but many 'seers' throughout history.

                In the course of reading this book, I have come up to the time of Nostradamus; that is to say the 1500's, or 16th century. Even though Nostradamus' family was from France, they were originally Jewish, but had converted to Christianity two generations before he was born. The family name, 'Nostredame', was changed to the Latin-sounding 'Nostradamus'. Thereby saving the family from....the "Great Inquisition", where anyone who did not convert to christianity was burned, tortured, or otherwise murdered for being "Jewish enemies of Christ".

              This is exactly what I have been saying all along. What makes christianity any 'better' than another religion? Aren't they all supposed to serve the same God? An 'omnipresent entity' that actually controls people's fates? I just don't get it!? Are any of you aware of just HOW MANY PEOPLE have died for "religion" during the time of man? Where does it all end?

            I used to simply admire the "Knights Templar" from the 13th century. That was, untill I found out that at one battle with the Muslims in Constantinople, more than 1,400 UNARMED women, children, and old people were slaughtered by the Knights after they had taken the city. These people were killed because they were Muslims. I have seen the Knights Templar in a different light since then.

             Muslim, Jew, Catholic, Protestant, Buddhist, Taoist, American Indian, Gaist, whatever you are, don't you think it is just plain stupid that people kill others because they are a different religion? Is it any wonder that I have no faith in "Gods"? Some see me as a 'lost soul'....I see me as a realist. What type of 'benevolent god' would allow people to kill each other in his name at will? Doesn't the Bible teach us that killing is wrong? It seems to me that it was one of the ten commandments.....or were those just 'suggestions'?


         Questions, comments, abusive remarks? Let me hear them.

             Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Monday, September 12, 2005

A New Life

  I need to take a few minutes to make someone famous. Her name I will not print, but she means the world to me. I have been here for her birth, and I must tell you about her!

             She is a little girl. She was born last Thursday morning, and she is beautiful. Both she and her mother are doing fine. She belongs to two people whom I only know from the 'net. I know just what a struggle it was to get her here. Her mom told me. Mom....funny that I use that word to describe M'Lady Fair. That is what I call this child's mother.

             I believe this little girl will grow up with plenty of love. And even though I am not a religious man, I pray that she has a good life. I know that she will. And, Jean, don't even start writing, I know just what you are thinking. This is for the good of a small child, so I will do it this time...........


Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Looking Back In Time

September 11, 2001. Most people have images of Pearl Harbor, or the asassination of President Kennedy to carry with them. I have the images of the twin towers in New York. I can never forget that morning.........

          At about 8:25 a.m. that morning, I was standing in the local video store, talking to the lady that owned it. Brenda is her name. She has been a friend of the family for about 14 years now. Hell, she even taped the wedding of my oldest daughter for me! On this day, like so many others, Brenda was almost out of cigarettes. She asked if I would go across the highway to the store to get some for her. Virginia Slims, menthol lights, I still remember her brand. I said yes, I would. I would not have told her no, ever.

               I walk the 200 feet to the store. While there, I look in the meat section to get some ideas for dinner. After all, this is just an ordinary day, right? Well, with no idea as to what to have for dinner, I decide to just get the cigs, and go back to Brenda's video store. As I am checking out, the ladies working the cash registers are huddled up, and they are just buzzing! I think it is some of the newest gossip in town, and don't pay them much attention. Finally, one of them sees me, and moves to her register. "Did you hear about the plane hitting one of the towers in New York", she asks. I tell her no, and inquire as to when it happened. "Just now", she replies. There seems to be something in the way that she looks that says this is urgent news. I pay for the smokes and leave...I know Brenda has a large television, and it will be tuned to the news.

               I don't even make it to her door before she is outside, yelling that the twin towers have been hit by a plane, and that it might not have been an accident! I remember thinking, "this can't be right, no plane flies right into the twin towers on purpose". Already, there are images of the first strike on tv. What happened next was far beyond my understanding of all things in this world....a second plane slammed into the other tower!! What the fuck is happening?

           My wife and I head back to our house, and I turn on CNN. There they are, both towers burning, paper floating everywhere. The scene is straight from some kind of nightmare. Now, we are hearing that the pentagon has been hit, also, and another plane is missing. I start loading my guns. I don't know who, but someone is attacking America, and I will not go without a fight.

                As we watch, my wife says it is too much, and goes to the back bedroom to hang clothes. Suddenly, and  I don't know why, I am screaming at her, "They're falling, my God they are falling!!!". I was talking about the towers, of course. As I saw the first one go, I just knew that the second one could never withstand such stress, and it would surely go, too. It did. I have never seen, or even dreamed, that such a thing was possible. Yes, someone WAS attacking America, and they were making a hell of a statement.

                Shock, disbelief,  anger, hatred, pity for those lost. All of these emotions were there in an instant. I have seen much in my days, and I have certainly seen people die, I am no stranger to that. But never on such a massive scale, and never with such malice. These were not soldiers who were familiar with battle. These were just everyday people, non-combatants, period. How could someone do this? I am a warrior, and I would never kill an unarmed person; you just don't do such things.

             Did our government fail these innocent souls? We may never know, and placing blame does nothing to bring back the nearly 3,000 dead that day. As much as even I critize our leaders, I would give them the benefit of doubt on this one. I truly think that no one could even conceive of such a thing transpiring.....ever.

             I am writing this on the tenth of September, 2005. I will not write on the day of the anniversary of this tragedy. I will honor the memory of all those lost on that day. Lost for no good reason. Because 19 mad-men thought they could become "martyrs" for their faith. They only ended up as little piles of ashes, blown away by the wind....they were truly nothing.


Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Friday, September 9, 2005


Valhalla? I think my muse must have been drinking! She does that sometimes, I can't seem to stop her at times. Oh, wait, I see she included "Loki". No wonder, Loki is a prankster, he plays cruel jokes on people! I guess she(my muse) got off with Loki, and he talked her into doing things......that Loki is a real joker.

              In other news, the relief drive for people of Hurricane Katrina is going well. My wife tells me that her store has been literally swamped with clothing, food, water, and other things for people. She also tells me that still needed are diapers, baby food, baby formula, feminine products(you know what I mean), and money. Someone donated $3,000 last week. My wife's boss loaded up her Salvation Army truck at the local Wal-Mart, and headed down there. They have now sent three truck-loads to the hurricane victims, and plan on sending more. As long as there is a need, they will be there.

               Now, to set something straight. I have had a few people send me things about this not being George Bush's fault.....I totally agree. I have not said anything about him in this mess simply because I don't think right now is the time to be pointing fingers at anyone. Congress seems to already be taking care of that! There have even been those who said that race and income had a lot to do with who was saved and not! Bullshit! You must have your heads up your ass if you believe that.

                  How can ANYONE be prepared for something like this? Besides, everyone KNOWS that New Orleans is BELOW sea-level. If not everyone, then at least the people who live there do! As for the looting going on...The governor of Mississippi stated there was a "zero tolerance" for looting. Now, if you live north of here, you might be saying, so what? Well, let me translate "zero tolerance" for you, as it pertains to Mississippi.....looters will be shot on sight. That's right, shot. I most likely suspect that if they survive, they would be shot again. Rights? Yeah, this is Mississippi. You have the right to remain silent takes on a whole new meaning here!

             Since today is Friday, I will let you off the hook with just those few(?) words! Be cool, and don't do anything that the old Dragon Master wouldn't do,(and if you do, don't name it after me!!!!!!!)


       Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Monday, September 5, 2005

My Muse Comes to Me

Valhalla looms on the horizon. This warrior has fought all his life, Valhalla is assured!! Only the best warriors see Valhalla, and I am one of them. I will reign among the gods, Thor, Loki, Ramuh!! I will be there, and I will be one of the best ones there!!!

                   No, I do not  plan to be there anytime soon, but I will get there! Valhalla is only for warriors, and I will be among them. Only the best make it there, and I am one of the best warriors ever conceived! I have it all; warrior spirit, and poet's heart! I will be there, you can only hope to join me there.

                 A warrior that has never harmed the innocent. Never fought in anger, and never defeated an enemy without allowing him his dignity to remain intact. This is the perfect model for Valhalla! I have always adhered to the Warrior's Code. Maybe there is something beyond....maybe not. But I know this, my honor stays intact, and I believe in death before dishonoring oneself.

          Why write this now? How would I know? I simply am guided by my muse...I must follow where she leads me!! Untill next we meet!!


      Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Saturday, September 3, 2005

Donations for Hurricane Victims

I have been told by my wife that victims need articles for babies; diapers, bottles, formula, you name it. I trust that you will do what you can with this. We have seen how the FEMA people have been dragging their feet. I remember several years ago a large tornado ripped through our town, and left many people homeless. We recieved Red Cross, no FEMA, no federal help at all.

                It seems like if you live in the poorest part of the U.S. no one cares. No one in Washington, anyway. Many of the survivors have moved into our area, and most are just deciding to live here. Everyone in our community has welcomed them here. We are used to "making do with what we have", so we don't mind. We are "country folks", we manage to get by.

             Help if you can. Believe me, anything is appreciated at this point. I think it is a shame that in the richest country in the world, private citizens care more for their people than the LEADERS who are ELECTED BY THE PEOPLE. This is a damn disgrace, and a black spot upon the nation's leaders.


                Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Thursday, September 1, 2005


   As my wife has told me, some things for relief are starting to come through the Salvation Army where she works.(store) They are telling people to send CASH DONATIONS....that seems to help most. Donations of clothing, water(bottled), canned foods, and some children's toys are greatly needed.

             I keep hearing on CNN about the "Major" charities...Red Cross, Feed the Children, etc. These are good places to give, don't get me wrong. My problem with them is that they WASTE MONEY that could be used for the good of the people that they are supposed to help. Remember the Goodwill, or the Salvation Army? No? That is because they DO NOT waste money advertising.

           The lady who runs the store where my wife works just left for the coast Wednesday night with a truck filled with clothing, water, food, and other items(toilet paper seems to be a major concern, also). Everyone around here is giving something...even I am bringing this message to you. We do what we can....some more, some less. The Wal-Mart Corporation has kicked in one million dollars, as have the New York Yankees, and the N.F.L. Thank you, very much.

                  I would also like to say thank you to the different states (Texas, Tennessee), who have opened their doors to the victims of this disaster. People are so capable of hating each other, but they are so much more capable of HELPING each other. The sad truth is that once this is over, people will go back to acting like their life is the most important thing in the universe, and no one else matters. That is just sad.

           I truly feel for the people of New Orleans...their work is cut out for them. Have we been affected by this? Yes, my wife has an Uncle in Gulfport, and a nephew also. We cannot contact them as of yet, and have no idea if they are ok. We can only wait, and hope to have some contact with them. I am most worried about our nephew....he is only 18. Now, they are telling us that the body count in that area is still climbing....we wait.

             I have said it so many times; A life can be taken from us at any time. Tell people what you need to right may not have a chance later. And, please, help if you can.


               Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

We are Still Here

         As I  sit here today, I am glad to just be here. As you know, I live in Mississippi. Northeast Mississippi. I am eight hours from the coast where Katrina slammed into this state. It didn't matter, my distance from the coast. Last night, my wife and I huddled together as the winds screamed outside. We could hear trees breaking all around us...yes, we were a little scared.

               My wife's Uncle, and her nephew live in Biloxi, right on the coast. Telephone lines are "iffy" at this point. I can't believe that I am able to dial out to the 'net. I was awake untill after four am., when it finally settled down outside. This Hurricane was packing winds over 65 mph when it got to us! Tennessee is catching the brunt of it today, and the rest of the country in it's wake, from here to Maine, will surely feel it's fury in the next couple of days.

              A huricane that traversed the entire U. S., from Gulf Coast to East Coast? That is one mean storm! No wonder they give them female names(untill a few years ago!). Now, obviously, we still have power in my area. But, as of this writing, more than a million people are without power...I am extremely lucky. I hate tornadoes, and now I hate hurricanes! I never thought I would be involved in this one!

            My wife, as some of you know, works at a Salvation Army store. They have been swamped today. Even with my lack of sleep, I got up before she went to work this morning, I couldn't bear to see her go without saying goodbye. One never knows what will happen. So many people have lost their lives in this storm....those lives can never be replaced.

              I would rather lose property than a human life...any life is precious. That's right, I said it. I wish no one had died because of this, but they did, and I can't change that. I truly wish I could. It is kind of hard to say that "me and mine are just fine", knowing that so many lives were lost. But, I am thankful that me and mine are good to go. I hope that some of you help out as much as you can....I know that you will.


                   Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Sunday, August 28, 2005

I never Knew---

   I bought this computer in February of 2003. I have now been on-line for all of that time. I could never have known where it would lead to! I have met some really great people, and some not so great people. But, make no mistake, ALL of them have been interesting.

                There are my "Smoke Away" Buddies, just too many of them to name here, really. There is a lady in Michigan who "Holla's" at me every now and then. Then, there is the young man in New York who has the absolute MOST vast collection of video games it has been my privilege to ever lay eyes on!! There is a young man close to New York who requested one of my plaster snakes....he got it just a few days later.

               There is a lady who is sharing the birth of her child, her FIRST, with a small circle of friends. I am so glad to be in that group! I know a lady who, once in a while, might drink a little, and she starts to writing. She always sends her writings to me for preservation. I am glad to do it for her. I have met a man who called himself Mr. Death....He is a real hoot!! The list of people that I know now just goes on and on......

                 I bought this computer, and had never owned one. I spent four years reading everything I could find about computers, I even subscribed to a leading computer magazine! I wanted to be informed before making my decision on a computer. No, I didn't get what I wanted, that would have cost over $4,000!!! But, I did get what I needed. A window onto the world.

              I knew that the internet could literally open the entire world right here in my home. I knew that there were some risks, but I also knew that there were measures to protect myself. So, here I am, nearly three years hence. I plan to stay here, too, as long as I can. Sure, I have made mistakes, I am sure that I shall make more. But, I don't care. If you never make a mistake, then you are not doing anything.

            I am certain that I will meet even more people. I have told you here of only a few. I know a girl in New Jersey who I think of as a little sister. I even call her "my little one". I have met so many people that it is overwhelming at times. I have even met people who tell me how much they love my writing, and are always going on about how I should write a book! Imagine that, a red-neck with a book!! That idea is just so weird that it might work out!!!!!!!!!!!

           OK, so what am I saying after all of this blustering? I really thought that I wouldn't meet anyone on the 'net. I thought yeah, sure, like anyone would want to talk to me! I was many people have touched my life here. Did I mention the young fellows over in England who make cheat codes for games that I play?? Guys who are nearly half a world away, and they have the same interests as me?? Too fuckin' much, man!!

            Like I said, ALL of these different persons have been interesting in some way or another. You know, a long time ago, I stated here that EVERYONE HAS A STORY. I still think that. I want to hear them. I would LOVE to hear them. No two people came into being quite the same. I am thankful for that! Could you imagine how BORING it would be if everyone was the same??? There would never be any HUMOR, STEREOTYPES, PEOPLE TO MAKE FUN OF, nothing. The world would be as one. I just don't think I could take that.


               Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Today In Our World

    Well, who has the honor of being first on my shit-list today??? I say that goes to Mr. Bush. That's right, the Prez. Mr. Bush, a word of advice; talk to this lady that has staked herself out on your doorstep! Hell, you are on "vacation", take a minute to address this greiving mother. Just hold a press conference if you are afraid of it going sour in a face-to-face interview.

           This lady, along with others, just wants some answers. A government of the people, by the people, and for the people, is what our country is based on. You have elected to become NONE of these things. Oh, wait, you were NEVER ELECTED in the first place. That must make you a "DICKtator".  Carry on......

              Now, on to Mr. Pat Robertson. The "Moral Voice for America". A so-called "christian" calling for the MURDER of a country's leader?? Shit, I knew I would end up liking this asshole sooner or later!!

                We need more like him! Religous leaders who aren't afraid to go the extra mile. Guys who can get tough and pull out religion as a murder weapon!! Hoorah!! I bet that is the last time they let "good ol' Pat" go on the air un-scripted!!! Hell, throw out Bush, and put Pat in to bat!! I bet he would clean up some of this crap!!!

              Well, that is my two cents worth for today. Oh, by the way, you folks in Florida take cover, seems Mother Nature isn't finished messin' with you yet!!  Be cool, everyone!! Till next time....


                   Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Friday, August 19, 2005

I DID IT!!!!

   You might be able to tell that I am no longer baby-sitting for my grandkids---I have become a regular "chatty cathy" as of late! You might say that I am back in full force.

               Now, as to the title of today's topic. I have a meter that tells me how long it has been since I smoked. That meter now says...I have been quit for 1 Year, 8 Months, 2 Weeks, 2 Days, 10 hours, 56 minutes and 58 seconds (625 days). I have saved $1,641.81 by not smoking 21,890 cigarettes. I have saved 2 Months, 2 Weeks and 10 minutes of my life.

             Twenty Months. Awesome! I kept putting it off for years. My only excuse? The cigarettes were stronger than me. How did I know that if I never tried to quit? That's right, this is my FIRST TIME at quitting, and I hope it is my ONLY TIME of doing it. What finally worked? Sheer will power. I have beaten drugs and alcohol abuse in my lifetime, why not tobacco? I knew it could be done, and I would somehow do it.

                Well, before I start patting myself on the back too hard, I have a LOT of people to thank for helping me. The first, and closest would have to be my wife.....the constant threat of her doing REAL bodily harm to me was pure inspiration!! Thank you, dear! Next would be my oldest daughter, who has dogged me since she was eight years old to finally got through, girl.

                  And now to some special people, my "online family". Jean, I just don't have the words for all we have shared. Alece, same for you. Kilguard, I hope you are well. Marc, take a coffee break, and a bow. Michelle, Jen, you two are great, and I hope that all is well for both of you,also. You both hold a special place in my heart, just like little sisters. BOB, aka Mr. Death, what can I say, man? I knew you were "trouble" when I first met you!! (HAHAHA) I hope fortune smiles down upon you.

              Sally (Mustang Sally), I love ya' gal. Stay just like you are. Take care of those boys of yours. I haven't forgotten you.Tina, my "blondegirl" in Tennessee! I hope you are well. I would also like to send a shout-out to "Softmtnrain" in Kentucky. A beautiful lady tasked with taking care of the sick and injured. There are special places for "Angels of Mercy" like you. DKB's Nurse---please continue to keep me posted on your impending "arrival". I never tire of hearing from M'Lady Fair.

                 Mollie, my dear friend. I used to love your phone calls, just to talk about "stuff". I hope Florida is all you thought it would be, and more. Mairia, firey, flame hot Mairia! Go to your local market, and buy some "Earl Grey" english tea. Brew a nice hot cup in the late evening, and try to calm down. Things always even out in the end, they really do! You are a beautiful person, I have seen it, so I know it is there. Don't let people tell you there is something wrong with you, you are just special. No matter how much you hate me, I still admire you for who you are.

             There are so many others, I just can't get all of the names straight. For good, or bad, everyone who touched my life when I was quitting smoking played some part in that action, and I thank you all. I think the hardest part to get through was the death of my mother last June. I really wanted a smoke right then. But I had seen so many quitters fall by the wayside from just this sort of thing. Too much stress, and they turn to temporary comfort. I was determined NOT to do that. And I succeeded in not smoking. In the end, I won out over the cigarettes, and that is all that matters.

                  If you read this, and are contemplating quitting, please, don't keep putting it off! Do it now. Go buy some "Smoke Away". It worked for me. And no, I do not get paid for saying that.


         Holla' If You Hear Me!!!