Monday, February 25, 2008

"Bad" Americans

Thanks To Ms. Jean For This One!!!

 

     YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN
 
I Am the Liberal-Progressives Worst Nightmare. I am an American.
 
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some Liberal governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!
I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!
 
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, do it in English.
 
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
 
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time watching or arguing about it.
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut up already.
I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country! This is AMERICA.
 
If you were born here and don't like it you are free to move to any Socialist country that will have you.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?
  I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry rear if you're running from them..
I also think they have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I think it's good..... And I'm proud that "God" is written on my money.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
I believe "illegal" is illegal no matter what the lawyers think.
I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA!
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
 
If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.

We want our country back!

Just Killin' Time

...That's right, you saw it. I am actually listening to music again. I am trying to desperately lift the veil of depression. Imagine if you will that a fully loaded dump truck has been parked on top of you, and you must lift it off. You can see my dilemma.

       I am trying so hard to come out of this. Everyone knows that my wife did this to me, and that it was already there, she just made it so much worse. Enough about her, she doesn't deserve the "air time" that she gets! I could say plenty, but it just isn't worth it. Is she forgiven? I don't know just yet, mostly not.

        It also seems that my far-ranging, drunk little muse has come back to me. Everything in my life is female...wife, muse, daughters, granddaughter, mother-in-law, and the memory of my murdered mother. I seem to be drowning in Estrogen!!! At least I have a grandson waiting in the wings! Not to sound conceited, but I know that the little guy just loves coming to see Pop-Pop! And I love him, too!

        I have gone back to a favorite saying of mine lately..."Never intefere in the Affairs of Dragons, for you are Crunchy, and Taste Good with Ketchup!

      

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Music (Or the Lack Thereof)

Music...what has it become? Where are the days of music actually speaking to us? What happened to bands like the Beatles? Jim Croce, Lynyrd Skynyrd, America, Boston, for goodness' sake? What does today's music say to us? We are skinny little post-modern assholes living on trust funds?

 

     Screw that mess! What can some little 17 year old tell me about life? I am 47 years old...an ex-biker, a total rocker, and completely hardcore in any way that you can think of! Keep your little whiny ass at home with your mama! Give me a hard-drivin' beat, along with a few shots of whiskey, and make me believe that a woman broke your heart. Not that you are reading off of a sheet of lyrics!

 

        Give me Aerosmith saying that "the rabbit done died", and make me think about what that means! Give me some "Sweet Emotions" to wear out on my sleeve! Give me Ted Nugent saying that he has "Cat-Scratch Fever", and all that that entails! Tell me that you need "Three Steps Mister", and just why you need them! Tell me about the "Four Walls of Raiford Prison", and how you have spent a lifetime there!

 

       Tell me that you rode a "Horse With No Name" across the desert, and why you did so! Make me believe that you have seen the inside of a lot of bar-rooms, and that you have spit out at least ONE TOOTH there! Make me believe that you have been alive! And sit down and shut the hell up if you are only 17 or 18 years old!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Robbing Wal-Mart Blind

So, there we were in Wal-Mart a couple of weeks ago, Me, my wife, and the youngest girl. I was in the computer-games section, daydreaming, when my youngest comes over and says that a lady will sell her some phone cards at a discount.  I tell her to ask her mom if it is ok. I had no idea that this "lady" did not work at Wal-Mart!

 

  You see, the cards that they purchased were shop-lifted just seconds before, and were therefore no good, as they had not been activated by a Wal-Mart employee! My wife chases the "lady" down, and threatens her with multiple personal injuries, and is able to recover her money! I, in the meantime, tell one of the boys in electronics(where the cards were lifted) to get security on the hook, and get this broad before she leaves the store. They at least had her for shop-lifting!

 

    "No can do, dude! We used to have a security guy, but he quit sometime ago!" WHAT???? This is a Wal-Mart SuperCenter!!! There are literally cameras everywhere you look?!?!?! My mind was reeling! My first thought was..."just HOW MANY GUYS can I get in here robbing this place blind!" But my next thought was "EX_BIKER, dude, EX! Man, twenty years ago, that place would have been stripped! And I wouldn't have felt bad about doing it! Especially after hearing that there is NO SECURITY?!?!?! Man, me and a few of my ex-buds would have cleared that place out!

 

       So, if you are in Wal-Mart, be careful. I was told that they would not cover the price you paid for the cards...it would just be written off as your loss, even if it took place in the store! Knowing what I know now, I would recover my losses on my own!!!

 

 

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

The Touch That Could Change the World

There is in each of us, no matter how humble, a capacity for love. Even if our lives have not taken the course we had envisioned, even if we are less than the shape of our dreams, we are part of the human family. Somewhere, in the most inconsequential corners of our lives, is the opportunity for love.

If I am blind, I can run my hand across the back of a shell and celebrate beauty. If I have no legs, I can sit in quiet wonder before the restless murmurs of the sea. If I am wounded in spirit, I can reach out my hand to those who are hurting. If I am lonely, I can go among those who are desperate for love. There is no tragedy or injustice so great, no life so small and inconsequential, that we cannot bear witness to the light in the quiet acts and hidden moments of our days.

And who can say which of these acts and moments will make a difference?

The universe is a vast and magical membrane of meaning, stretching across time and space, and it is not given to us to know her secrets and her ways. Perhaps we were placed here to meet the challenge of a single moment; perhaps the touch we give will cause the touch that will change the world.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

What Women Want

What Women Want...wasn't that a movie with Mel Gibson? Anyway, here are a few things I have come to realize, and the reasoning(or lack thereof) behind them. Women want someone who will treat them like shit! I will now explain.

 

      My first wife was always sleeping around on me, and I would do the same when I would catch her. We finally got divorced, which was a good thing. Before she walked out of my life(taking two beautiful girls that I was prevented from ever seeing) forever, she told me I was too nice. I wasn't rough with her, and not aggressive  enough. Real classy, that dame was!

 

      Now, having lived through the infidelities of the second wife, and her lying to my face about it, she actually had the nerve to say that when I touched her, I acted as though she were made of glass, and would break! Again, it seems that I am not "rough enough".

 

       So, from now on, I will no longer ask if she is in the mood. Who gives a shit? I will simply take what I want! So what if she gets slapped around a little? At least then I can't be called "too gentle"?  Women don't seem to want someone to treat them right. I do my best to be gentle and kind, and I am labeled as "soft".

 

     Well fuck that! From now on, women are on the bottom of my list...something to be crushed underfoot! I have seen guys treat women like shit, and the woman keeps coming back for more?!?! From now on, I will no longer cow-tow to any woman. If I go into a store and a woman follows, I will no longer hold the door for her. Fuck her, she can get the door as easily as I. From now on, I will be on top of the heap! No more taking shit from bitches!

Monday, February 4, 2008

Emos, Goths, and Kids These Days

Well, as some of you can tell, my muse has somewhat returned to me. She still drinks too much, and just goofs off, but she at least shows up once-in-awhile. So, Emos, Goths, and kids these days. My youngest girl is "Goth" at times, and she is "Emo" at times. We all know what Goth is, but the "Emo" will take a little bit more explaining. Here goes...

 

       I remember seeing a comedian named "Emo Phuillips". He was famous for about five minutes, but seems to have garnered a following in the teenage world. Some kids have no idea where the word "Emo" comes from, some do.  "Emo" kids wear long black hair, and have a strange haircut. Think "Beatles" from the sixties. (I guess history does repeat itself!) Even though she is blonde, my girl wants to say she is "Emo".

 

       Another way to explain Emos is like my daughter says, "Emos are just little boys acting like little girls". Too true, as most of these "boys" look like they would break under any kind of stress. I just don't get it. When I was a teenager, if a boy acted like a girl, he would catch a serious beat-down! (And deservedly so!) Things are strange these days!

 

       Just this past Saturday I spent a full day in the Tupelo Mall, about an hour South of where I live. I could not believe the "boys" that acted so effeminate! If I was a teen right now, I could spend all day beating the crap out of these pussies that call themselves boys!  Now, what about my girl?

 

        I look at it this way; if she wants to be Goth, fine. I would never try to make her someone she is not. As for these boys these days...stop whining that no girls want you, and start acting like you have a pair!(and not tits, either!)

 

;-) Holla' If You Hear Me!!! ;-)