Things Are What They Are...

Just when it seems that all is lost...it is. Don't kid yourself friends, it doesn't get any better...

Pluggin' Away

Well, it seems as though I have managed to hammer out another few days in this shitty hell-hole that is my life. Yay!

Not Very Thankful

I don't have very much to be thankful for this year. I try to treat my wife like there is nothing wrong, but it doesn't work. I do not feel the same way about her anymore. Do I hate her? I'm not sure, but I feel differently toward her. Actually, I should say, "indifferently" toward her. I just don't care.

 

     I don't care if she is sick, hurt, injured, lonely, or hurting in any way...I just don't care. I don't want to hear anything she says, or thinks, or knows, I just don't care. She is NOT the woman I married. She is NOT my best friend. She is NOT my wife anymore. She is simply a woman that lives here at my house.

 

        I don't care if her feelings are hurt. She didn't care about my feelings, that is for sure. She says she loves me...that is a fucking lie! You don't do what she did to someone you love. I am reminded of what she did everytime I look at her face. I want to crush that face, and the person behind it. I can't stand being here, but she refuses to get a divorce. I have no idea what is next, I only know that I will not like it. She destroyed everything, now she wants to hold on to the pieces. May her God condemn her to an everlasting Hell...I sure have!

Another Milestone

Well, well, well. Tomorrow marks four years smoke free for a very special person in my life. Mrs. J will complete four years without a single cigarette! The driving force behind my quitting four years ago is still going strong. You gotta love this lady! Not only did she help me when I needed it most, she was there looking over my shoulder, as a mentor, and a friend.

 

        She once told me she goes to the ocean, and lets the waves take her troubles out to sea. I wish I had an ocean...with LOTS OF WAVES...really big ones. I haven't spoken to my mentor for awhile. I have been caught up in some pretty heavy things lately(no shit, huh?). But, this isn't about me, now is it?

 

           Happy fourth anniversary, Mrs. J! You deserve it! Mrs.J still helps people on a web site that she and I started, with the help of a major non-smoking aid. The product actually works. I would offer myself, and Mrs. J, as proof that it does just what it says. But, the product had absolutely nothing to do with what a remarkable person Mrs. J is. To a mentor, sage and most importantly, a friend, congratulations! Four years is a good long time to go without smoking! Although I am still a couple of weeks behind you, I am still trying to catch up!!!

 

;-) Holla' If You Hear Me!!! ;-)

"Once Again Into the Breech..."

So, good ol O.J. Simpson is back in the news again. Armed Robbery this time, no less! He is saying that he was set up. Of course you were set up, you fucking idiot! How long did you think that the people in power would just let you walk around free after killing two people? What an idiot!

 

     Normally I would never agree with anything O.J. said, but this time I do. I firmly believe he was set up, and set up good! After being wrongly aquitted, and not paying a dime on that civil suit, oh yeah, he was set up! And it was sweet! But wait, there's more...according to O.J., and his attorneys, he is "broke", and cannot pay anything on that civil suit to Ron Goldman's family, and O.J.'s wife's family. If he is  really broke, then he cannot afford to hire the high-priced lawyers to get him off! Somebody give O.J. a big ol' kiss, cause he has been screwed!!!

 

;-) Holla' If You Hear Me!!! ;-)

Another day...etc.

  I seem to be angry all the time now. Mostly due to what my wife has put me through. She said yesterday that it has been four months since I found out she fucked another man. Well, forgive the fuck outta me! I had no idea there was a time limit for being pissed off when you have your guts ripped out! I will take that into consideration when I am kissing your ass, honey! Fuck!

 

      I am sorry, women, at least certain ones, seem to be on my short list at the moment. What is the etiquette for learning that your wife fucked another man? Anybody? Tips? I am trying to make this marriage work, but she isn't. She just wants me to "forget it" and "go on". Just what fuckin' planet is she from? Guys, chime in anythime here. I say she is lucky that she is still able to walk! Anyone else would have beat her senseless! It would be different if I was doing this to her, THEN she would have had cause to do this. But I wasn't, and never have!

 

         I hate her for what she did, but I want to keep her. That is causing far too much conflict in my head. I am on overload, and almost ready to explode. Writing here helps some, but not much.