OK, enough of that stuff for a little bit. I have been working some things out, so we will get back to that stuff later. Today, I feel good. I feel positive. And I need to tell you children, and my "minions" about a foundation that a friend and I are trying to get started. (Shut up, it could happen!)
Of late, I and a friend of mine have noticed that we(the country), are losing rednecks at an alarming rate. They aren't getting rich and moving away, or anything like that. No, we are losing them to stupidity. Not like people who are born "mentally challenged"....no, those people can't help how they are. Rednecks gain their stupidity from over-use of alcohol, or just a plain lack of good sense as one tries to "show off" for their friends!
I mostly blame the schools in our area. Here is why I say that. The high schools in this part of the country do not teach kids the importance of simple physics. If you know simple physics, then 'Bubba' would understand and comprehend the forces at work on a human body when he gets drunk, and jumps out of his buddy's bass boat at 40 mph! 'Bubba' would also understand that hunting from a tree-stand 35 feet off the ground while drinking is a bad idea. Too often, I have heard these fateful last words..."Hey, hold my beer, and watch this". Sadly, when we hear these words, we know that we are about to lose one of our brethern. We know that no amount of logical talk will help our friendly redneck; the only way he will survive the night is in the intensive-care ward at a local hospital. (If we are REALLY lucky, and he is REALLY stupid, we might even get to see a helicopter land somewhere that it wouldn't normally!)
So, my friend and I started S. A. R. F. Save A Redneck Friend (I know it rhymes with "barf".) We need our rednecks. Who else would we laugh at? Who else would we see put a beer can on their head, and let an equally drunk redneck shoot it off?? You just can't buy entertainment like that! Why do I make fun of them? I am one! Too often in my younger days I uttered those famous last words...hold my beer and watch this. I beat the odds, I actually survived some of my stupider stunts. Yes, there were bruises, stiches, and the occaisional concussion, but I got through it. If we can save just one redneck to see old age...
Holla' If You Hear Me!!!
(no rednecks were harmed in the writing of this article)