The Warm, "Moist" Night...

 Ok, so I swagger out of the bar this evening so long ago. It's gonna be a cool Michigan night, it is about 65 degrees at 9:00 pm. This is an early night for me, I can't say why, it just is. Maybe it is fate, maybe it is something more...

 

      So, I get on my bike, kick it a couple of times, and she roars to life. Yes, it is a "she". Sometimes, bikes can be a lot of trouble, hence, men call them in the female sense. I fire up a smoke, just to let the ol' girl warm up in the evening cool. As I sit puffing away on my cancer stick, I see a chick walk straight up to my bike. This shit happens all the time; qusetions about the bike, the life, and do I have a joint. Not this time....not tonight.

 

         As she walks up, she motions to cut the engine...this could be different, I think to no one in particular. I cut the engine on the ol' girl, and she dies with a deep, throaty rumble.  I was all of 17, dressed in full "Leathers", this gal was about 25, maybe. She asks for a ride to her place. I look her up and down. Long legs covered by black leather pants, black leather boots with four inch heels, and a tube-top that is about three sizes too small. Trouble on the hoof---I tell her to "climb on".

 

        I know, I know. I should have known better, but I just knew I was nine feet tall, and bullet proof! And besides, she felt, and smelled good behind me, hugging me so tightly on my ol' girl. If it was meant to be, then my ol' girl would light up on the first kick----she literally SCREAMED to life on the first kick. Oh yeah, this chick was getting a ride in more ways than one!!! Little did I know that SHE had the same idea for me!

 

           Now, about this time in the story, all of you scream "WAKE UP"!!!! Or, you expect me to say that she was some kind of "ghost chick". Sorry, it ain't gonna happen. She was real, and so were my feelings for her. Feelings that come from below the waist, and NOT from the heart! We drove to her place in the most odd way...she would tap my left or right shoulder to indicate direction! Cool! And I followed like a panting dog!

 

              That girl did things that I had only read about in books that night!I found out that she had a boyfriend that had pissed her off, and he needed to be taught a lesson. His loss, I guess. That chick was out of this world, and probably a few others as well!! I felt sorry for her guy, that she would go out on him like that, but I was glad it was me!!! What did we do? C'mon, a gentleman doesn't "kiss and tell"!!!

 

          Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

"Divine Intervention"? Hardly...

  Do You believe in "Divine Intervention"? I certainly do not! Let's say you know someone who KNOWS someone who had $100.00 'stolen' from them about a month ago. Then, just today, that 'someone' somehow magically 'finds' $100.00? Coincidence? I think not!

 

        I think that "someone" loaned, or GAVE someone else that $100.00, and was paid back today!!! Divine Intervention, or luck, my Great Aunt Fanny's ASS!!!!!!  I may LOOK stupid, but please, don't try to sell me a three-legged horse and tell me it can run! That dog just won't hunt here!!!

 

                       Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Is This Necessary?

   Does anyone else think that Israel needs to stop? I mean, c'mon man! I am sick and tired of them overreacting to any attack on them. I am especially sick and tired of the U.S. helping them all the time!  Man, fuck the "prophesies". The Jews got their land 50 years ago, and nothing happened! Give it back to the palestinians! All these years of fighting over something from the Bible?

 

           Do you REALLY think God had all those deaths in mind? Do you think He wanted all these years of war and bloodshed? If you believe that, then you have NOT read your Bible! Fuck, there are PLENTY of jews in other parts of the world...go to those places! Please, I do not hate Jewish people, I just do not agree with all of the death and war! Stop this shit NOW! A palestineian kills a few Jews, and the Jews kill a BUNCH of palestineians.....two wrongs do not a right make!!!!!

 

        Mr. Bush, get the fuck out of that shit! Just WHY do you think 9/11 happened? Does anyone listen to the terrorrists? They warned us this would happen BEFORE 9/11!!! They told us to get out of Israel! Did you think those were idle threats? Do you STILL think that? Let Israel stand on it's own! What about the GENOCIDE that Israel is trying to pass off as a 'war'? It's BULLSHIT! Stop sending aid and weapons to an agressive country!

 

          Mr. Reagan fucked up on American policy in the mid-east by working with Iraq, and Iran, then TRAINING Osama Bin Laden, ostensibly against Russia. That shit hurts when it jumps up and bites us in the ass, doesn't it?

 

                     Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

What do you Want?

  I called one of my friends last night, and his wife answered.  She wants to see more things here to read. Like what? Give me a clue! Do you want to hear about drug deals that went bad on me before? How about the guy I left with four inches of good ol' American steel in him? Yeah, fucker was a snitch for the cops!

 

        The cops call them C.I.'s Confidential Informants, I just call them "F. R's.  "Fuckin' Rats!". Rats don't get to live....but don't worry, that one did, despite my best efforts. As you know, I don't like to use guns in a "business transaction". I firmly believe that fact has kept me alive through some "bad times". A bullet is final, and, unfortunately for me, I am a damn good shot! I keep the use of guns to a minimum, or none at all.

 

            This asshole was a GOOD friend, and even set up this deal for me.....I should have seen it coming. Anywho, he learned his lesson, AND he lived through it! Silly fuck KNEW I hated rats. "But the cops had some shit on me", he said. Too fuckin' bad, bro. You do NOT take other people down for shit that YOU got caught at!

 

           Hey, I got busted for breaking into houses, and the cops KNEW I wasn't working by myself. Those bastards sweated me for three days with NO ATTORNEY, and NO ONE knew where I was. I STILL didn't tell them shit! If you don't TELL them shit, then they don't KNOW shit! If they had something on you, they would CHARGE YOU!!! Too many DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS RUN THEIR MOUTHS! When you talk, you incriminate yourself! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

 

          I have been picked up by cops before that said "we know you did so-and-so, and I just play stupid. Don't talk, and you don't have to keep your lies straight!  Look here; I ain't seen shit, I ain't heard shit, I ain't done shit, and I don't KNOW shit!! So, charge me or let me go! Oh, no charges? Bye, assholes!!!!!!!

 

            Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

A Valid Question

  A few days ago, someone, via email, raised a good point. "If you hate America so much, move". Okay, numbnuts, here is your answer...listen closely...I LOVE AMERICA!!! It's the politicians that piss me off!!! Now, did you get that? Is that clear enough? Don't muck around in my business if you don't know what you are talking about!

 

         Earlier this past week, I heard where Mr. Bill Gates,(of Microsoft fame), has given, get this, TWO HUNDRED EIGHTY SEVEN MILLION DOLLARS to some charity! Damn near $300,000,000 to charity! I kid around about his software being "buggy", but his heart is where it needs to be. Some call it a big tax break, so what??? As long as the charities get the money, there you go!

 

          Well, another week has come to an end. A friend of mine that I haven't seen for a long time stopped by the other  day. He said he found out that I was diabetic. Then he tells me that I just "can't catch a break". HUH? He said that I have a lot going wrong with me. I agreed, and told him that my doc said that my body is shutting down. Shit happens, I said to him. This is for me, and me only to go through.

 

            If there is a God, I figure he isn't finished fuckin' with me yet. I think the Big Guy has had it in for me ever since the first day I came to be in that convent in Missouri. It reminds me of Lot, and his trials. When all was said and done, Lot looked up at the sky, and said to God;"why, God, did you put me through all of that shit?". And God said, "Lot, there is just something about you that pisses me off!". God must be pissed off when he sees me, so He throws some MORE SHIT my way! It's just that simple. Have a nice weekend!!

 

               Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Poem

  This is a poem I wrote for my old Smokeaway website today. I wrote it before I found out the site had turned into a bunch of pussies. I can't believe it! What a bunch of fuckin' pansies! Some bitch named "MIMI" is a real asshole! If you run into this bitch, tell her to fuck off!!! Besides, this poem was for my friends, not some fat, sorry assed, self-described CHRISTIAN ASSHOLE! So Fuck off, bitch!

 

            

A poet's corner, without me,
Sorry, folks, but that could never be!!
I am the original, the first,
I am the best with the word and verse!

I see Ray, little Jack Horner,
Sitting back in the corner!
Come on out into the light, Ray
I can remember you in a better day!

I was here, "way back when",
But now, I am back again!
To torture "newbies" with a sly smile, and a wink,
But please don't tell Marc, he thinks I stink!!

Where is my "nurse"?
She is so fine, and can turn a verse!!
She is very witty, and can take a toll,
But I once called her my "mole".

Moonbug, in all her glory,
She can tell a beautiful story.
I love her so, my beautiful sage,
Wisdom far beyond her age!!

And Alece, what can I say?
A letter from her makes my day!
She has been here as long as I,
To do without my friends makes me cry.

Yes, a Dragon that sheds tears,
A Dragon who has hopes and Fears.
Sorry, Bob, nothing rhymes with "Kozina".
But we see the shine through your "patina".



Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

I have been quit for 2 Years, 7 Months, 2 Weeks, 4 Days, 10 hours, 14 minutes and 31 seconds (961 days). I have saved $2,523.73 by not smoking 33,649 cigarettes. I have saved 3 Months, 3 Weeks, 4 Days, 20 hours and 5 minutes of my life.

--------------------

Never intefere in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy, and taste good with Bar-B-Que Sauce!!

Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

                              

How High?

      So, here we are more than 30 years after lowering the national  speed limit to conserve gas, and we are actually raising the damn thing now!

 

           Now, in a time of record gas prices, we are RAISING the speed limit! In a time of HUGE gas guzzling machines(spelled SUV), we are raising the limit! In a time after our beloved Ronald Regan shut down ALL of the "wildcat" and "maverick" oil wells in America. In a time when Mr. Bush owns oil wells in the UAE(United Arab Emirates)?  Am I the only one to cry "foul" at this point? "Sweet Crude" my aunt Fanny's Ass!!! Something stinks here!

 

            Why now? Why now when EVERY single oil producing nation in the Mid East hates the U.S.? Why now that we have pissed them all off so bad that oil goes for $75.00 a barrell? Why do we export the same amount of oil that we import? What about all the oil in Alaska that we ship out to other countries? What about old, and poor people(of which I am one), that are found dead in their homes lately because they can't afford heating oil?

 

                What the fuck is going on in this country? I can tell you what is going on...the people are being fucked over by the assholes in Washington, D.C.!!!!! That's right, Mr. Bush included! I say fire the whole bunch, and bring back what Mr. Lincoln called "government of the people, by the people, and FOR the people".  He reminded us that the men who died in the civil war of 1861 to 1865 did so to insure that this kind of government would never cease to exist! I hate to see him be made into a liar!

 

                           Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

A Special Day

     Today is my granddaughter's birthday. Six years ago today,(actually at about 10:00 pm) I saw the miracle of life happen for my daughter. And even though I had mixed feelings about it at the time, I would never trade my little "Roze" for anything!!!

 

              That's right, she is six years old. She informed me just today that I couldn't color worth spit! I get out of the lines far too much to be any good at it! I guess I need to work on that. A lot, according to her! At least she loved the cake I made for her today. She says she loves having a "pop-pop" that can cook!!!

 

                 If someone told me twenty years ago I would be this great, hulking, doting granddad, I would have busted his chops for being so stupid. Looks like I was the stupid one! I would do anything for that little girl, and her brother. No one will ever harm them while I can draw a breath. Like a friend of mine says, "if I can't handle it, I can hire it done!". Too true, Mickey, too true!!!!

 

                           Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Trouble Again

  Well, no doubt most of you have heard about the trouble in the Mid-East, mainly Isreal's attacks on her neighbors. Yes, those neighbors attacked first. It just seems that Isreal has this "you kill ten of us, we kill fifty of you" mentality.

 

              Yes, I believe Syria and Iran are supplying the weapons to Palestine. Yes, I believe the U.S. WILL become mired in this shit also! And, yes, I believe Mr. Bush will drag it out as long as he can.

 

               And WHO are the people in the Mid-East trying to get back to the U.S.? Tourists, people on vacation? If  you WORK there, ok, I get it. But if you are on vacation there? Hell, I think you are helping to "thin the herd". Survival of the SMARTEST. Stay there, and get blown up...we don't need dumb-asses like you here in the States!!! Sheesh!!!!

                                Holla' If You Hear Me!!! 

Man and Machine---or "Manchine"

   "Manchine"; (noun), The convergence of a human man and a technological machine. Like the bonding of a Biker to his motorcycle....two become one. It happens, just ask any Biker that has spent more than a few weeks in the saddle.

 

            Today's cowboys ARE the bikers!  That same feeling of independence, of freedom, and personal pride. As the cowboys of olden times became one with their horses, so does a Biker with his machine. Women? They come and go. Don't ever ask a Biker to give up his ride for a female...it rarely ever happens. I gave up my ride for a woman, I have regretted that day every day since then.

 

               But, we live and we learn; sometimes too late, but we learn. I have just learned that with diabetes, one can never get another tattoo....now, you want to talk about things that suck? That right there sucks harder than a Hoover!!!!!  Yep, seems a tattoo is just a big open wound begging for an infection!! Yeah, some things REALLY SUCK HARD!  Ahhhh, fuck it! Life goes inexorably on. For what reason, I cannot fathom! (lol)

 

            Alright, before I get too far into a "downer", I would like to say that I\we had a great weekend. The only damper on the whole thing was the temperature---100 degrees and over, same today!!! It is bitchin' hot outside. So, if you park your scooter anywhere near my house, put a towel on your seat, and a bungie cord over it to hold it on. There is nothing worse than tossin' back a few cold ones with a local Bro, and then hopping on a bike seat that is about 200 degrees!!! Talk about "rump roast"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

                     Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

The Longest Night

  The night was still, cold, and rainy. Not freezing cold, but the kind of early winter cold that slowly creeps into your skin and goes all the way to your bones. I was on "look-out" close to a guy's house that owed the 'club' money. I was a few hundred feet from his house at a phone booth. I was the one who made the call....the call that started "The Longest Night".

 

        I had been in the rain and cold for about an hour when I saw him drive up to his house, then drive past it. About three houses away, he parked his car and got out, and eased down the sidewalk to his house. This was a tough part of town, even the cops only showed up here if they could get about four cars at once. This man knew he was being hunted, he just didn't count on me....and I underestimated him. A trait that can lead to your death quickly in this part of town. Meanwhile, in another part of town........

 

            The phone rang at the Motorcycle Gang's Clubhouse around midnight. Only two words were spoken, "He's there". The gang's president knew just what to do. The man they were after was very "jumpy" at this point, knowing that he owed a bunch of bikers about ten grand. He was nervous, and rightfully so. These guys had left good men bleeding in the street for far less than ten grand in money. This was a "quiet" operation----no bikes, just cars and pick up trucks. He would never see them coming. Like I said before, cops just weren't a concern.

 

            I saw the first old "beater" car coming, and hopped in with several oversized men already inside. I just moved up from lookout to "enforcer", and I was glad to be warm for a bit. We sat outside, and watched him going around in the house. What was he doing? Who cared? He was through in this world anyway. After tonight he would be just another entry in tomorrow's obituaries in the newspaper.

 

             In the next instant, more cars and trucks lined the street in front of us, and behind us. This was happenning NOW, like it or not. We all got out of the car, and the longest night began. There was a massive explosion in the still, cold air, and it was a few seconds before I figured out it was a rifle round! It missed me, but hit the car right where I was sitting. The round tore through the door of the car like so much butter!! It struck the door with so much force that it shattered the rolled-up window!

 

             I had no idea what he was using, but it was loud, and it was powerful, and I dropped to the ground as soon as I figured it out! Then, something weird happened. One of the guys screamed that I was down, and maybe dead! Seems the way I stood there, then just fell on the ground, had convinced the guy next to me that I was hit. I tried to yell, but my voice just wasn't there! Scared? Shitless! Some of the other guys opened up on this guy, but he was smart, he had already moved, and was now returning their fire. BAWHOOM!!! BAWHOOM!!! That 'street-cannon' he had was a real mutha! I just knew we would have cops on us in no time!

 

               Since everyone thought I was dead, including the dumbass on the street-howitzer, I snuck to the back of the house on my belly. I found some old building materials, and a good old stand-by. A four foot length of 2x4 board. BAWHOOM!!! BAWHOOM!!! BAWHOOM!!! He was at the other end of the house! And with that damn cannon going off every few seconds, he never heard me sneaking up behind him...and he surely NEVER heard the whistling of the board as it came down on the back of his neck!!

 

             The cannon he was firing fell silent. I was shaking all over! But I wasn't cold. I was scared stiff, and mad as hell! This asshole could have blown me in half with that damn thing!!! I was beyond pissed off! I found out later that he was using an old B.A.R.  That is a Browning Automatic Rifle. They were popular in the twenties and thirties with gangsters. They are loud as hell, and every bit as mean!  That was the only one I ever got to see close up, from BOTH ends!!!

 

               Well, the guy was grabbed, and he had to settle up with some of the guys. What happened to him? I didn't ask, I just went home and drank a full bottle of whiskey with a few beers for effect. It was truly "The Longest Night" for me, and it lasted less than a minute or two!!!

 

                          Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Red Lights....and Neighbors

    Ok, when I was just a small pup, we lived in Memphis, Tennessee. I remember when Martin Luther King was shot at the Loraine Motel, and the riots that ensued. Fair enough to say that I feel differently about the man than most. Anyhow, I also remember the lady who moved into the house behind ours.

 

          She imeadiatly painted the entire two-story structure PINK. That's right, folks, pink. I must have been about eight years old, and thought it was the coolest thing I had ever seen!!!! Little did I know that I would get my "education" from that house. And what an education it was!!!

 

               Ok, so my mom explains that "those women are prostitutes". I definitely knew that word, and I also knew that I would be over there the first chance I got! At the tender age of only eight, I knew I couldn't do any damage there, but maybe, just maybe, I could leave my mark!!! Shit, I had to get over there!!!

 

             Now, fortunately for me, we had a lawn mower...and I made quite a bit of money with it. This was my ticket inside at that "house of ill repute". I spoke to the lady that ran the house, the one who bought it to begin with. I offered my services, for a nominal fee, of course. She agreed with my price...I was in like Flynn!!!!!!!!!!!! I could go there and ogle the girls all I wanted after cutting the grass the first few times!!!

 

             Everything in my stepdad's books under the bed was true!!!! The women who 'worked' there looked like some of those in the books! I was as close to heaven as I would ever get!!! I remember that I used to mow for a while, then go to the outside faucet to wet my shirt down the front, and some on the back. I would then go to the back door for some lemonade,(which they always seemed to have), and was treated to cookies, and some air conditioned coolness with the "ladies" on the couch in the front room!!!

 

                  Don't feel bad for me, I knew EXACTLY what I was doing, and I loved it!! All of the girl's names have fled into obscurity...except for the "Madame's" name---Ruby. She was a 'robust' woman, and fun to be around, not like my mom at all. I truly felt love for this woman. Not a "horny" love, but a "mom love" for her. She was just too cool!!!

 

                     Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Why My Mom?

   "Why did you even write about your mother?" I get this question sometimes. Some people feel that the parts about her are far too short, and then she dies...sort of kills(sorry for the pun) the story. They're right, except that I think she would rather be alive....I think.

 

           I only wrote about her to show how hard she was. She was tough, mean, hard as a Marine Drill Sargent. If I could change things, what would it be? Maybe I would have taken fewer beatings from her, but I'm not so sure...those beatings prepared me for a tough life, and I only have my mom to thank for that.

 

               No one in the world outside your home  gives a flying fuck if you draw another breath. Even to me, the other people walking around in my world are just light bulbs that can suddenly 'wink out' at any given time. I could care less...they don't know me, and I don't want to know them. So are the ways of the world." Everyone will kick you, but no one will help you up, you better do it yourself!" My mom used to tell me this everyday of my life, just before she would kick the shit out of you.

 

             My mom helped me to see at a young age that only YOU can do anything for YOU! Fuck the rest of the world, you are on your own, and you better learn that quickly. Now, if you happen to be from somewhere that people help each other, consider yourself lucky. Me, I come from the other side of the tracks. I come from the side where people walk over, or on, you when you are down. we say, "life sucks, then you die".

 

                   Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

What Happened to Him?

   That's right, "Prince".  I am listening to some of his "oldstuff". You know, his first songs. Purple Rain, The Look, When Doves Cry, Kiss, Cream, etc. What happened to him?

 

             Well, Hollyweird happened to him. First he turns his name into a symbol, then he disappears altogether! Laugh at my tastes in music(they are far and wide), if you will, but in the latter half of the 80's, Prince ROCKED the pop charts!

 

         Damn near every one of his songs were instant hits---the ONLY Artist at the time to even go up against Micheal Jackson....and in my humble opinion, beat him at his own game!!!(beat him, pun intended!) Helped along by two fantastic stage burners---Appolonia, and Ms. Sheena Easton, his live shows were pure art. Or, as some said, pure, raw, sex on stage.

 

         Yes, I like Prince, I just wish he would come up with some NEW material that was worthy of his talent. It is such a shame that some people get 'stars' in their eyes, and then get all stupid. That is when they lose their talent, and become obsolete, or obscure, invisible, un-noticed. Poor Prince...can he ever come back? I doubt it.

 

          You see, talent like his, (he wrote nearly ALL of his songs, some his father worked on also, before his death), can only be had when you are hungry. Before ANY fame can come your way. When you are struggling, you try to get noticed, like me. Maybe that's why I am soooo fuckin' good right now!!!! Shut up---it could happen!

 

                      Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Hot Days Are Here

  Hot days are here, indeed!! Temps have been ranging in the high nineties---95 to 98 nearly every day! Jean, it's finally time to go cat-fishing!! Not much going on here though, just babysitting for my granddaughter, and duckin' the heat.

 

                        Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

A Tough Day

     Today has been kinda hard. I seem tired all the time, and just sort of worn out. My doc says to expect that sort of thing now...whatever. I really hate pricking my finger several times a day. My monitor says you can check it on your forearm, but I can set it as deep as it will go, and my arm doesn't bleed. I guess so much for being tough, huh?

 

          You don't even feel the stick on your arm, but if it won't give you any blood, what is the point?

 

                     Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

A Very Good Day

    I have just spent a few hours at my oldest daughter's house. They are having a big cook-out for her, Friday was her birthday. They killed a pig to cook early this morning, and had plenty of beer on tap!!! I can see some of you in the back---"Ahhh!!! They killed a little pig!!!". No, it was a BIG ONE!!! Shut up! We eat meat in this part of the country. We aren't some panty-waisted 100 pound "vegans".

 

            I had a great time. Of course, my wife wasn't in attendence...her "friends" at work take precedence over her family every time! I hope she had fun breaking her daughter's heart! even my son-in-law, with whom I rarely agree, said it was strange for my wife not to come. Not strange, I said, just her way right now. She will come to find that her "friends" are not all that she thinks they are!

 

               In the meantime, her family suffers the consequences. Our grandson won't hardly even play with my wife---he barely knows her! Such is the sad ending for 24 years of marriage. Oh, and for those of you who disagree with me....bite me!!!

 

                Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

A Life Changed

 "A Life Changed"; my life changed. Someone told me the other day that I had seemed 'different' to them lately. Harder, edgier, meaner. They were right. I am different, and I will be untill I die.

 

        I used to bow and scrape for ANY woman in my general vicinity....not anymore. Since my mother died two years ago, I refuse to bow before ANY FEMALE! My servitude to females STARTED with her, and it ENDED with her! Nevermore shall I cow-tow to a WOMAN. Her death, along with some things that happened at home made me realize that women are just what they are. Men can never change that, neither can whatever "God" you believe in.

 

         Maybe my mother was too tough on us, maybe not tough enough...but she always said one thing to me..."Never, and I mean NEVER, waste your tears and feelings on a woman, we can do just fine without you 'swinging dicks' walking around".

I can't say anything for the rest of the women in the world, but I know she could do just fine on her own, I have seen it! Hmmm..........I wonder if the title 'serial killer' is in my future? None of you can even begin to understand my contempt for females right now.........and maybe that is GOOD!

 

                       Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

More Flashbacks---Dealing with Jerks at Work

  I was just 18. Young, proud, and willing to put in a good day's work for a good day's pay. I had always worked my entire life. Whether on the farm, or at the horse stables, or in the little country store that I was hired to. I have worked for other people since I was eight years old. I learned the value of a dollar young, as we grew up mostly "country", and that meant poor.

 

        Ok, so I was 18, and my Uncle got me a job at a popular Ford Car Dealership. I was in Heaven! I was a Ford freak to begin with, and had already worked at gas stations!! I was beside myself! I started out just parking cars and "runnin' parts" for the mechanics. Then one of the guys noticed me installing a stereo in my car. There was some talk to the owner, and I had my own "stall" installing car stereos! Cool, huh?

 

      There was this one mechanic, a real asshole. He would tell our boss that I had his truck(the boss's) out at the city park chasing girls in the daytime. Of course he was lying, but it tended to piss me off a lot! I was about 150 pounds at the time, this asshole was close to 300 pounds! I was in no mood to take an ass-whipping from this creep, but I knew he had one comin'.

 

     My Uncle told him to quit lying on me, but I told him to let it be, I was "working" on something. My Uncle was a very smart man, besides, he trained me in surviving the city, so he knew it would "get fixed" soon enough. Soon enough.

 

           You see, the man that owned the dealership was friends with another man who owned a large private security firm. These two friends loved to come to the dealership on Sunday and just sit and drink scotch whiskey, and simply bullshit each other. Sometimes I would be there catching up on some work(off the clock). My boss asked me for his friend if I wanted to change jobs, maybe make a good deal more money than he could pay me. I said of course!

 

         Oh, please, I haven't forgotten our little mechanic friend yet. This is where he gets "got". Seems the owner of the security firm had heard about my problem from a "little bird"(my boss). He said he would hire me if I proved that I was as tough as he thought I was. I would still have to go through their training program, of course. Of course. But, I am nothing if not 'game'!!!

 

          I told my current boss that I quit, and I was through there. He agreed that I was no longer an employee of his, and could leave. On my way to collect my tools, the 'asshole' saw what had happened(at least, what we wanted him to see), and said I was a pussy to let him run me off. A pussy, indeed! I picked up my tools, to the sound of his constant barrage of bullshit.  Have you ever seen a 1 1\8"  open-end wrench? It is large and heavy!!  Our mechanic friend got to "inspect" one up close that day---several times!!!

 

             Holla' If You Hear Me!!!!!

Too Late---Far Too Late

    Too Late, Far too Late. That is me. I was born about 500 years too late. I always envision a small wooden shack in the forest, snow waist deep in the winter, smoke curling lazily out of the chimney on the cabin, or shack, as you will. Life was harder then, a real struggle. I don't mind, my life has been a struggle all of these 46 years.

 

               Of course, there would be the requisite wife, and two small children who struggle with me. I would hunt and farm. My wife and children would gather what plants and roots they could in the summer. These would make the potions and salves that they would sell to the townsfolk as cures for various ailments. We aren't rich, but we get by well enough.

 

         At times, I go on short quests for my liege, my king. Never do I kill Dragons, as I tend to get on well with them. I could no more kill one of them than my own child. I am called the "Dragon Master" for good reason. This ability also lends itself to earning extra money for my family and myself.

 

             There is always mead, or ale to drink, and times are fairly good. There is a good king on the throne, and he is quite the diplomat, rarely making war with our neighbors. But, sometimes, war is all that the neighbors understand, then so be it! Men!!! Spur your mounts on to victory!! Let loose the Dogs of War!!!  We return triumphant, even though some of our men sleep with the "old ones". (They have died, for those of you who know not better).

 

           Yes, times can be tough, but I will struggle through, and so will my kin. They stand beside me, because after all, family is all you have to look to for help....they are always there.

 

          This writing is for Tonja, my oldest daughter. When she was small, we used to play like kings, Mafia guys, and Southern Debutantes! Thank you for never letting my imagination turn into an "adult wasteland". You made me play these things with you, and kept me going.

 

                    Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

A Partial----

      Cold Hearted Orb that Rules the Night,

       Steals the Color From Our Sight.

       Red is Green, and Yellow, White.

 

 

  I know I have heard this before, I also know that this DID NOT come from me.....any takers? Surely someone else has heard it before. I just know I heard it somewhere before, maybe in High School Literature??

 

           Holla' If You Hear Me!!!