Ahhh, Homecoming Week

      Well, well, well. Today is the end of "Homecoming Week" in my little wide spot in the road! The kids all get out of school at 2:00 pm today, and there is a parade at 3:00 pm! I always tape the parade, and I am constantly amazed at just how many people are actually in it! For a town of no more than 400 or 500 people, we always have a big turn out.

 

            Of course, in a town this small, everything stops for the hour or so it takes the parade to go around town. Let's just say that it is more fun than the "snail races", but doesn't last quite as long. So, I guess I will stand at the end of my driveway today, and video-tape the procession as it moves slowly by. One of my old wrestling buddies told me he was putting his horses in the parade, so I will HAVE to film it this year. Have a good day, folks!

 

               Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

DON'T BE COY WITH ME....

      Ok, why did I post that yesterday? Well, I said something to one of the members about the people on that web site acting like a bunch of babies. Since I sent those words in an Email to that member(I will not print their name, they have no control over what I do), I figured, sooner or later, the remarks would somehow find their way to being printed on the site. So, before that happened, I gave one of the mods there a heads up kind of warning. At the time, I thought it was the right thing to do.

 

     .........And, in a weird sort of way, it was the right thing to do.But(here it comes), my moderator friend overlooked one small detail. When one deals with me their is always the chance that one can end up with their feelings hurt. Sometimes, this is completely by accident. It is hard to make your feelings known just by typed words. At other times, if you get your feelings hurt, it was MEANT to happen...and yes, it is personal.

 

        My mod friend wrote back to me, but this person tried to be covertly facetious. Awww, is that a tough word for you? Get a dictionary and look it up. One must ALWAYS remember to not try to be coy with me, or "hide" little messages in their correspondence with me. These things WILL be seen through, and WILL be dealt with swiftly. I CHOOSE NOT to do anything about this little "slip" simply because this person still likes to call themself  my friend, and I count them as such.

 

           I also feel that this person has their hands full just running around slapping the wrists of those cry-babies on the old site. I say "old" because I rarely go there anymore...it has fallen from grace, as I see it. It is no longer what some of us tried to make it....a place for support, and for truth. No, it is now just a place for someone to "hold your hand" and to lie to you. Whatever, spilled milk, and all that jazz.

 

                 Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

It finally got to Me

   Now, as most of you know, I quit smoking nearly three years ago. I belonged to a group of people on a web site for that company that made the anti-smoking method that I used. I have never used the name of that company here, but I will now. The name of the company is Smoke Away. If you never believe anything that I say, believe this.....Smoke Away worked for me, period.

 

          Having said that, (you knew there was bound to be more), I would like to say that the people who run the web site(support for non-smokers, and quitting smokers), for the company are complete asses! I was a moderator for the site for just about 11 months before I was dumped on my ass. All of that doesn't really matter, though. No, not any of it. I can burn my bridges and not need to cross them later on. But...

 

          A couple of months ago I went back to the site to contribute a little game for people to play, you know, just to kill some time, maybe help stop someone from lighting up. Other people on the site contribute things like recipes, games, riddles, poems, whatever. The thing I am trying to stress is that everyone is encouraged to contribute. Well, I got jumped on pretty hard by some of the "adults" at this site. Here is why.

 

         Here is a link to the game...http://www.ugoplayer.com//games/kittencannon.html

        Go there now, I will wait for you to go...go on, I'm waiting! Good. Did you play the game?I know some of you sick bastards are STILL playing it! Ok, here is the deal; I like sick shit like that IF NO ONE IS ACTUALLY GETTING HURT! Are we clear on that? I own cats here at home, or they own me, depends on whom you ask. This is ONLY a cartoon! There aren't even real animals in it!!!

 

            Believe it or not, this got me damn near beaten and flogged in public! Answer me this, if you didn't like the game, didn't you just simply click it off? It was just that simple, CLICK IT OFF!!!!!!! Jesus Harold Fuckin' Christ on a cracker! If you don't like it, turn it off. There were actually people, "grown people", who were calling for my scalp! One "Christian Lady" (her words, certainly not mine), actually sent me evil Emails! I was a "heathen" of the worst kind.

 

            And to make matters worse, one of the mods got onto this runaway train wreck to bash me some, too. I guess it had to look good in the forums. Now, included with the link to the game, was a warning...."this is a really sick game" I think was my warning to the people. What more could you want?

 

         I think it is just too bad that an entire web site can be damaged by a few little cry-baby bitches like that. But, it happens, that is exactly why I am no longer there. Oh, and as for "friends".....don't count on it, baby! I have said many times that "friends" are the first to screw you....and you can count on that!

 

            So? So, go play the game. It is only a cartoon, so no one actually gets hurt. But, please, be an adult about the whole damn thing. If you like it,(and you sick bastards know who you are), good for you. You have managed to make it to adulthood WITHOUT being a crybaby pussy! If you don't like it, and manage to actually turn it off without screaming into the night for my quick and violent death at the hands of some self-proclaimed "christian" person, Then good for you, too. You have managed to become a good adult with a bit of a conscious!

 

           If, however, you hate the game, and now hate me, then, please, replace the kitten in the game with yourself. Oh, and by the way, fuck off!!! I need you about like I need a hole in my head! Have a nice day!

 

                      Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Why Can't Women Give a Straight Answer?

 Ok, it's time to piss off all the women, again! My wife had some tests ran at the hospital this morning(everything turned out fine). When she was finished, it was nearly time for lunch, so I asked where she would like to eat. I knew better than to ask, but I guess I am just a glutton for punishment. I got the standard "I don't care" answer.

 

             Any man that has even known a woman, let alone been married to one for any length of time, knows that is a loaded answer! "I don't care" means this; You better know ALL my favorite places, you better know what I like and when I like it, AND, you better take into consideration what I am wearing, and my mood at this time! That is a lot of shit to remember, girls. No wonder we(men) screw up so much!

 

          Ask a man where he wants to eat, and he will say, "I don't care". And he MEANS JUST THAT! He really doesn't care. He is hungry, and all he knows is that SOMETHING will have to die to give him the meat that he wants! We are just that simple, ladies! We say what we mean, and you need no imagination to figure us out. Now, why can't women be the same way?

 

            If you want a big ol' chunk of steak, then just say so! If sushi is on your mind, then tell us! And if you only want a salad to pick at as we men devour some part of a poor, dead animal, then just say so! Men, try to get your head around this concept; a woman will very rarely give you a straight answer. I guess that is why we like them so much? Who knows!

 

                              Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Update On Me

  Well, my little 'minions', this diabetes thing just keeps on rolling along. I have been taking insulin shots for about three weeks now. At the hospital, I recieved them three (3) times daily. At home, I take a couple of pills in the morning, and one shot at night. The shot is supposed to last for 24 hours. I really hate sticking a needle in my own arm...but, I guess it has to be done.

 

           Another thing I would like to touch upon is the death of the "crocodile hunter", otherwise known as Steve Irwin. My family and I really liked that guy. The dude must have had stones the size of grapefruits! Some of the things I have seen him pick up were just amazing! Dude, you will be sorely missed in this household, believe me.

 

                      Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

More Delays

    Ok, so I found out today that the game I was waiting on will have to wait untill October 31st, and NOT October 3rd. Why? Who knows, the game companies do this all of the time. They set a release-date, then come up with several other release-dates before the game finally comes out! A disappointment, to be sure, but one to be expected.

 

             I guess I can just twiddle my thumbs untill then. Or, I could just play some of my old games. Or, I could be here, bugging my "minions". I think I shall split my time between both.

 

     Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Times Up!

Let me make a prediction, scratch that, an "observation". I think it will not be too long before Mr. Hugo Chavez(the president of Venezuela) will meet with an "unfortunate end". Or, his country will suddenly develop "weapons of mass destruction". Or, he will be 'implicated' in a plot to kill president Bush! Yes, as much as I kind of like the guy, I think that at this time he is in great danger.

 

           Here is an open invitation to Mr. Chavez; come stay with me! Hell, Mr. Bush doesn't even know that Mississippi exists! He would never find you here! Shit, we could go fishin' together while you hide out from Mr. Bush and his "Cowboy Cabinet"! Winter is coming, hell, we could go deer hunting if you like.

 

        As most of you already know, our government has a way of making people "disappear" when they need to. Oh, come on, you KNOW it's true! What about the plot to kill Fidel Castro that was uncovered back in 1989? There were more than 80 U.S. gov't led operations over the years to kill Castro!  More than 80 attempts on Castro's life! The man must have outstanding security forces! I think Mr. Chavez needs to get with Mr. Castro, and hire some of his people.....quickly!

 

         I applaud Mr. Chavez for the fact that he recognizes that the American people(the smart ones, anyway), want nothing to do with Mr. Bush's policies whatsoever! The ONLY friends Bush has in the U.S. are the rich, and the oil people. Mr. Bush has done NOTHING for the "common man".(read as "poor"). Mr. Bush and his cronies have led America down a path that will take years to recover from.

 

           The United States is now seen as the "world bully". We will come and knock down your door for just thinking bad things. Mr. Bush says he wants the people responsible for 9/11. Well, gee, Mr. Bush, the people that were "responsible" died on those airliners the very same day as all of those innocent Americans that you pretend to be concerned about. Are you that fucking blind?

 

            Watch Mr. Bush at the podium when he is speaking. He is quick to anger, and even quicker to act stupid. I have never seen another American president act the way he does when he is in front of a bunch of cameras. The man is insane, and a danger to MY beloved homeland. This man does NOT belong in office! Am I the only person to notice that the problem with the voting back in 2000 came from Florida? The state where Mr. Bush's BROTHER just happens to be the governor of? Please.

 

          I will let Mr. Bush rest for now. At least I don't have to make up things about him, he does a fine job of acting like a fool for all to see. I don't think I could have ever come up with some of the shit that he has done! You can bet on one thing....9/11 was NOT an anomally, they KNEW it was going to happen. And now, if I come up missing, we will know why, and, more importantly, who.

 

                      Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Yes, I am a Fanboy!

........And on a lighter note, October third is just around the corner. I hear ya' in the back there saying ,"so what". Well, it just so happens that my favorite video game of all time is coming out with the TWELFTH edition of it's wildly popular time-killer. It is......Final Fantasy XII! I have waited for the last two years for this game to arrive, and it is here! My local game store is having a midnight opening for the debut of the game, and yes, I will be there!

 

        I started playing video games about 15 years ago. It was my oldest daughter who got me started on them. We(Santa) had gotten her one of the new Nintendo consoles for Christmas. Sometimes she would get stuck at a certain point, and ask for my help. I did the best I could, but I always explained to her that I grew up with pinball, and I was no good at these kinds of things. I got better. Quickly.

 

       One day, my wife got me something called Final Fantasy. This was what was known as an RPG. Rocket Propelled Grenade? No, Role Playing Game. I had never heard of such a thing, except for the old "Dungeons and Dragons". I quickly learned just where my niche in the video gaming world was!  This was right up my alley. A game where all you had to do was just "explore" the game world. I fell in love instantly. I wasn't any good at the other games...I called them "jerk and twitch" games, 'cause that's basically all that you did.

 

        Now, I know just what you are thinking, "that old cur was just lazy, that's all". Not quite, children, not quite. You see, I became quite proficient at those other games. So much so that "Official Playstation Magazine" bestowed upon me "Expert Gamer Status"....and the plaque to prove it hangs proudly in my living room! I am now the best in my area at racing video games. There are very few people in my town that can beat me at racing. And believe me, there are more than a few that have tried!

 

        I have made a name for myself in our little gaming community as the person to go to for cheat codes to most games. If I don't have it, I can most likely find it. I see October third as the culmination of fifteen years of learning about video games, and I am looking forward to "Opening Night". Oh, in case you didn't catch it, 'Midnight Opening' for game number 12, get it now?

 

                Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

In case you just didn't get enough yesterday, here is a little more "Bush Bashing" by Mr. Hugo Chavez; 

A day after he called Bush "the devil" in a speech to the U.N. General Assembly, Chavez said of the president: "He's an alcoholic and a sick man."

Bush has acknowledged that he had a drinking problem when he was young but gave up alcohol 20 years ago.

Chavez received a round of applause from the crowd at Mount Olivet Baptist Church, which included activists and other supporters as well as actor Danny Glover.

He called Bush's policies in Iraq criminal, adding he hopes Americans will before long "awaken" and elect a better president. While he opposes Bush, Chavez said the American people "are our friends."

Some in the church laughed and applauded when Chavez compared Bush to cowboy movie icon John Wayne.

Chavez also announced that Citgo, the U.S.-based refining arm of Venezuela's state-run oil company, plans to more than double the amount of heating oil it is making available under the program to 100 million gallons this winter, up from 40 million gallons.

He said the oil will reach people in 17 states, including Indians in Alaska, some of whom were flown to New York for the ceremony and attended in traditional dress. They performed a traditional dance for Chavez and offered him a walrus figurine carved out of whale bone as a gift.

"This will go a long way for a lot of families," said Ian Erlich, a leader of the Alaska Intertribal Council who said many people struggle to afford heating oil where he lives in Kotzebue, Alaska, north of the Artic Circle.

Chavez started the heating oil program last winter, accusing Bush of neglecting the poor. Citgo says up to 1.2 million people will benefit this winter.

While the program started mainly in the Northeast, this winter it is to expand to Alaska, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Indiana, Virginia, Maryland, and the cities of Washington, D.C., and Pittsburgh, Pa.

The United States continues to be the top buyer of Venezuelan oil, bringing the South American country billions of dollars in earnings that help fund Chavez's popular social programs.

 

        Now, say what you will, but I don't see Mr. Bush offering heating oil at reduced prices. Oh, wait, Mr. Bush has seen fit to more than DOUBLE the price we pay for oil since he has been in office! Surely that has NOTHING to do with Mr. Bush's ties to the Saudis, right?

 

                 Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

 

PS....this news was taken from the headlines at AOL.com. I did not write any of it, so, give credit where credit is due.

El Diablo?

Hey, how about that Venezeaulan President, Hugo Chavez? He actually said that president Bush was "El Diablo", the devil! he even stated that the podium where Mr. Bush stood the day before still smelled like sulfur! Too damn funny, kids, too damn funny!

 

           And the reporters on CNN just about killed me. They were actually stunned that someone would talk bad about Bush! Those assholes need to get out more often. Shit, let them come here to read what I say....they would really die then! If that isn't proof that the news media is controlled by the governmant, then I just don't know what is, folks! C N N....the "Congressional News Network".

 

           Now then, later today, the headlines on AOL media were "As gas prices go down, his popularity goes up". This was beside a small picture of Bush putting gas in a vehicle. First, and foremost, Bush would not get his hands dirty, and secondly, this was nothing more than a staged "photo-op". Am I the only one who sees through this obviously shallow attempt at gaining a few points in the polls?

 

        What exactly is the point of that? This asshole is out in a couple of years anyway...he cannot be elected for a third term, thankfully. And any of you stupid enough to vote for this asshole either time should simply get a rope and hang yourself! You not only threw away your vote, you also helped kill any and all of our service personnell over-seas!

 

            Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

It Finally Happened---

         Well, the other shoe finally fell the other day. I am talking about my house insurance, of course. What a lot of people don't know is that insurance companies have been dropping people in my area like flies since Hurricane Katrina last year.

 

              If you are "lucky" enough to not lose your insurance, then the company will invariably cut your coverage, and expect you to still pay full price. Now, I don't know about you folks, but usually, when I get screwed like that, there is at least dinner and a movie involved! Maybe even some foreplay. Not with these guys.....sheesh!

 

               I think it is time for someone to step up and say, "no more". we pay a LOT of money for insurance, and then they come along and cut the coverage in HALF??? Something isn't right about that. Even my car insurance took a hit. That went up by 25%!! I live at least six hours from the coast, but I, and others like me are feeling the effects from one hurricane! So many cars were lost that ALL the major insurance companies upped their rates here!

 

            Now, I thought insurance was a gamble----I'm betting that sometime I might have to use it, and the company is betting that I won't. Why in the fuck is it that I lose either way? The House(ins. company), takes all ties? It sucks, it really does.

 

Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

The Crossroads

 It is often said that one can tell the difference between pure bullshit, and a fairy tale quite easily. A fairy tale begins with "once upon a time", and pure bullshit begins with "You ain't gonna believe this shit, but".....

 

          Well, you ain't gonna believe this shit, but....I went to my Uncle once with a problem. It wasn't anything that threatened the stability of the world, but it was important to me. I can't even remember what it was now, but I remember the lesson my Uncle taught me. This one was actually easy to learn, and didn't involve any pain(for once!).

 

       As I recall, I needed to make a decision about something, but I was putting it off because I was too afraid, or just too lazy to make the decision. Here begins the "lesson", as taught to me by my Uncle.

 

             He taught me the lesson by telling me a story about an old biker, and he was headed toward a crossroads in his life. This was another way of saying that he had a major problem to be dealt with. Well, the old biker(all of my Uncle's stories were about "old bikers", deal with it...I did.) found that the way to the crossroads was long, winding, and fraught with pitfalls and dangers. Before he made it there, he sat down on the side of the road. "Fuck it", he said, "this is too much trouble".  "Maybe I just won't go to the crossroads, maybe I will just stop here, and go back the way I came".

 

           "You can't do that" a voice said to him. The old biker looked around, and out of the swirling dust on the road there appeared a tall, thin man. Nice suit, long fingernails, and smoking a cigarette. "No, no, that just won't do. You can't go back now that you are here!"   "Just who the fuck are you, dude", the old biker growled. "Well, let's just say that I help folks like you when they are in a bind. There is, of course, a small fee that must be paid for my assistance".

 

          The old biker explained the nature of his dilemma, and that he wanted no more of trying to get to the crossroads(the problem), as it was just too much trouble. Well, the tall, dark stranger gave this a bit of thought, and told the old biker that for the small fee, he would make the crossroads(the problem) go away. The biker agreed. The man changed into what looked like a Demon from Hell. The biker was astonished! "You're a demon", he cried. "No, my friend, not a demon, but THE DEMON! Satan himself, at your service"!

 

          The biker found out two things in very short order; His problem was taken care of, and he had just paid the "small fee"....it was his soul. At that instant, the biker, and Satan simply disappeared into thin air, never to be seen again. The biker, that is. I have heard that Ol' Satan still travels that road, looking for people in trouble.

 

       My Uncle was fairly beaming after telling me that story. I was confused. "What the fuck does that have to do with ME" I said. "I have no idea, I just like telling that story!"  But, strangely enough, there WAS a message there. I think the message was that you, and only you, can solve your problems. If you wait for someone else to do it for you, it can have tragic results. Putting off something major is just as bad, and can have the same results.

 

           The other thing I gleaned from that story is that I needed to quit going to my Uncle for advice!! For fuck's sake, he didn't really know anymore than I did!

 

                   Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Simple Math

   Yeah, yeah, I know, I am full of shit today! It just happens to be one of my "good" days. I'm up, and not down. Now, for a simple math lesson for all of you. Some will get it, some won't. If you are among the latter group, work on it. Consider it a gift from me to you.....you'll see.

 

            We are taught at the earliest level that one plus one equals two(1+1=2). Sometimes, this CAN be true. But, sometimes it is wrong. I say that one plus one equals one(1+1=1). How can that be? Take two(2) pieces of string, hold them apart. At this point, you have two(2) pieces of string, right? Now, lay both pieces of string in one palm. Place your other palm over the one containing the string, and rub back and forth a few times.

 

         Now look at the string...it should look like ONE PIECE of string. Two(2) pieces intertwined to make ONE. The same as two(2) lives joined together to make one(1). Or, as in my case, my life was joined with another, and we made four(4)! Both of us, and two beautiful children! So, in my case, one plus one equals four(1+1=4)!!!!

 

            And who said that math was boring? Work on this equation as much as you like, you have my permission! (not that you need it!)

 

                      Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Press One for English...

  "Press one for English" the automated voice on the telephone tells me. Why? I live in America, the language IS ENGLISH! If you don't speak English, LEARN! And what is up with the tele-marketers who call you and have such a heavy accent(usually Indian), that you can't understand a single word they say!? Couple that with their ability to speak about 1,000 words a minute, and you can have some fun!

 

          What has happened to our country? I'll tell you what happened..."Affirmative Action". That's right. Certain people of color couldn't get jobs because of a lack of talent or skills. So, what did America do? We lowered our standards. But, only for those people of color. During the latter days of the '70's, you were perfect for a job if you were a Black Woman. This was deemed to be the most discriminated against minority in the U.S.

 

            Oh shut up! You know I'm telling the truth! It is a matter of public record! So, America lowered it's standards! Never mind if the person applying for the job couldn't do the job, they GOT THE JOB if they were a "minority". That's just stupid! I was never hired because of 'affirmative action'. Even though I grew up right beside those 'minorities'. I was turned down as much as they were! I had the same education(or lack thereof), as those 'minorities'. I lived in the SAME PLACES as the 'minorities'. Was I treated specially? Fuck no! If anything I was looked down upon even WORSE than the 'minorities' because I was "white".

 

          I am Irish and Indian...American Indian. The FIRST PEOPLE to be here, not those "other Indians"! I am NOT WHITE. I am only HALF white. this was made painfully clear by the children that I attended school with when I was very young. "Half-Breed" was a favorite word at school. Since I was viewed as part red and part white, "Pinkboy" was another favorite. Is it any wonder that I grew up fighting all the time at school? Minorities, indeed!

 

            No one EVER lowered the standards at ANY JOB I was lucky enough to get! "press One" my ass! Learn to speak english, motherfuckers! I don't speak Cherokee!!! In this world, I HAD to speak English, or go hungry!

 

              Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

 

Misplaced Emotions

  This past Saturday, I touched on the subject of hate. As most of you know, I hated my mother for a long time. Most of it was because of some of the things she did to her kids. She knew full well just how I felt about her. But before her end came, she taught me a lesson I have not forgotten.

 

          Before she left this shitty little rock that we call Earth, my mother taught me something about hate, and just how it can be misplaced. She told me, "I know you hate me, but stop and think for a moment...if not for that hate, you would never have lasted as long as you did!".  My mother wasn't the "huggy, feely," kind of person. Her idea of "love" was not having to hit you for the whole day.

 

           Now, I could look at that two ways. One, I grew up hard, and unable to love. Two, I could have laid around and cried about it. Well, choice number two just didn't fit for me. I knew at a young age that bikers do not like little "cry-babies"......not at all. "So your mom didn't love you, wah, wah, wah, shut the fuck up and go on!" Nice guys, huh. Yes, they were nice guys. They weren't a bunch of baby sitters; you either got along, or you got left behind.

 

          My mom was right; I did hate her for a long time. But I did thank her for the gravel in my craw, and the grit in my blood. I made it to here, and with some luck, I just might make it a little longer on this shitty little rock!

 

                    Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Losing Gracefully...or not

       With my latest stay in the "nut ward", I met a woman of the same years as myself. I can't repeat her name here, because of the policies of the hospital,(policies that I agree with). This lady lost her son of 25 years just 15 months ago to a drunk driver. She was probably one of the saddest people I have ever met.

 

             This lady is carrying so much hatred for the person that killed her son that it is eating a huge hole right through her. I really felt badly for her. I explained that my mother was murdered just two years ago, and her killer got away with it. The person who killed her son is still free, also.

 

            I know about hate. I know just what it can do to you, and just how it can drain the life from you. Yes, I am very intimate with that emotion. Unfortunately for her, that lady is becoming far too familiar with it. The saddest thing in all of this? I tried to tell her what she was doing to herself, but she refused to listen. I guess you have a credibility issue when you are a "client" yourself. But I have been down that road. It twists, turns, and even doubles back on itself. It is a road to nowhere, and I have been there.

 

          I hope that lady sorts out her life, I really do.  I would really hate to experience losing a child. I guess that is every parents fear at some point. I feel for her, I really do.

 

               Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

I'm Back---Again

Well, here we are. I have just spent the last week in the hospital again. I swear, the more I fight to NOT be like my poor mother was, it seems the closer I come to being just that! There is maybe about half of my brain I could do without. The "screwey" half, that is.

 

            I watched my mother get worse and worse before she died. The final year for her was pure hell. I could tell she was far worse than I had ever seen her. The pure fact that she was insane was the single factor that contributed most in her death. I firmly believe that, and nothing can ever change that. I felt more pity than hatred for her. Hate is easy....pity for one such as her is hard for me. I have no idea why.

 

          As I struggle with that part of my brain that wants so badly to see me dead, I wonder WHEN, and HOW it will happen? I know it will, I just don't know when and where. If I knew those two pieces of information, maybe I could stop it. As it stands now, it must happen. I don't look forward to that time....I know it will be messy. I hope the time never comes, I certainly do my best to fight against it!

 

            Everything else is ok, I guess. I just have to fight against half of myself all the time. The conflict that rages within my mind is nothing short of a small war. I hope to someday win the war, but I am also realistic. People like me rarely live to be very old. It's just a fact of life(and Death).

 

                     Holla' If You Hear Me!!!