"Bad" Language

 OK, some "ground rules" for understanding me. First, and foremost--my brain functions at full throttle only!! That means that EVERYTHING is in the FRONT of my brain, and ALL of it is on a continous loop---a high-speed loop, at that! Secondly, always, let me repeat that, ALWAYS, look at the "mood" at the top of the page when reading here. It can help you to gauge my mood---somewhat---some of the time---maybe.

   Now, to the question I get asked all the time; "Oh great Dragon Master, why do you use such "bad" language at times"?  "Could you be just a crusty old bastard who LIKES to shock us"??  Could be!

  But, sorry, that is not the idea behind my "bad" words. (ok, sometimes, it IS the reason!!LOL)  But, as you might have guessed, I am trying to convey EMOTIONS to people out there. I do not have the vocabulary of a British scholar. I, for the most part, am un-educated. Besides, if I said that a person was of "questionable parentage", would you know that I had just called that person a son-of-a-bitch?? I think not. How about instead of calling a female a 'witch', I simply said that "she keeps her big pot boiling all the time". Also, it is far too much writing!! (I am basically lazy, too).

  There is also another aspect to this; I am simply "Joe Everybody".  I drink liquor straight from the bottle, NOT cut crystal. If the bottle keeps it from spilling in the store, then it must be good enough for me!! So, your beer comes in a can?? What the hell you think that little hole in the top is for?? Now you get it? I hope so.

   Question for YOU, the viewers at home; Have you ever met someone who was just an "Asshole"? I mean a complete ASSHOLE?? Not just a 'jerk'...an asshole. Now, give me a word that describes an asshole BETTER than Asshole?? Sphincter Sucker?? It just isn't the same.

 Sometimes, these words are the ONLY way that I can convey to you the thoughts, emotions, or just plain stupidity of persons in the world. If anyone is offended by these words, then turn off that expensive computer, and get out of your parent's den; I think I hear them pulling up right......NOW!!

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  "The only difference between 'Genius' and insanity is that 'Genius' has limits"!!!

By now, I have no doubt that most of my children out there have guessed that a couple of my "friends" have been riding me fairly hard lately. That would be partly my fault---I was stupid enough to think someone could be an actual FRIEND!!! From now on, "if you ain't a brother, you're just 'another' ".

    BOTH have written to me in the past few days....odd thing is, if you hold up both letters, it is like looking in a mirror!! They both are nearly the same! I guess my number just came up on their "who should we fuck with this week" list. Well, I don't need this crap!

   One of them even wrote to me saying I was "trashing" them on MY SITE. OK, first of all, this is NOT my site; this site belongs to AOl.com. As they will tell you, AOL is NOT responsible for content, as it is the personal thoughts and opinions of members. They do, however, have certain guidelines, and standards that MUST be adhered to. Besides, I have NOT trashed you here. If I trash you, you will CERTAINLY KNOW IT!!  Believe me.

  Now, as far as both of you telling me WHO I can associate with----fogeddaboutit!!! Get over yourselves! Who cares if I have a little bit of fun? Yeah, it was cool with both of you for a bit, but when you jump in my face with accusations, then say you were wrong, the damage was already done!!

 Get your facts straight BEFORE you jump on someone! Once the both of you jumped, you HAD to stand behind it. That's cool, that part is only business, not personal. But, the initial accusations were wrong. You even took a simple joke that I have made frequently, and turned it into something sinister???? What the hell was that about??

My initial response was to tell both of you to just "FUCK OFF". But, I have always had MORE RESPECT for the both of you than to do that. So, I won't. What I WILL say is this, and remember it well----

 THIS SUBJECT IS NOW CLOSED FOR BOTH OF YOU! ANY FURTHER CORRESPONDENCE ON THIS MATTER WILL BE DELETED. IF YOU CONTINUE TO BOTHER ME WITH THIS TRIVIAL BULLSHIT, YOU WILL BE DELETED. I WILL SIMPLY WIPE OUT ALL INFO I HAVE ON BOTH OF YOU, AND ALL MAIL WILL BE DELETED!!!!

 I simply WILL NOT be "bullied" into submission by so-called friends. If either of you thought I would hang my head, and shuffle my feet, you were very mistaken. Run and tell who you must, but the person who keeps "pumping" the both of you is having the BIGGEST laugh!!

Poem? Truth? Warning??

Leave me alone, you are cramping my style,

Go away, I've had my fill of you for awhile!

I don't "give in", and I don't "conform",

I am the un-assuming little box that holds the tempestuous storm.

 

I am me, and that is all that I can be,

Take it for that, and let it be!

Leave me alone, don't raise my ire,

Or you shall surely feel my fire!

 

Don't jump up, and get in my face,

Or I will have to put you in your place!

Yeah, I got your number when you walked in the door,

Now, here you come, begging for more!

 

Leave me alone, quit wasting my time,

This isn't your life, it's MINE!

I can shut myself away as I see fit,

I could care less if you "just don't get it".

 

I have said it once, and I'll say it twice---

Quit fuckin' with me,

IT'S MY LIFE!!!!

 

Now then, have we learned anything???

No Subject

 CRAP!! I guess today is one of those "down days". The worst of both worlds. Whatever the hell is wrong with me takes weird swings... one day you are up here..........

 

 

 

 

The next day, you are down here. My stereo is so loud right now that it is literally shaking the walls. It isn't enough. It's never enough on days like this. Your brain sort of does what it wants to. It tends to forget everything else, puts itself into nuetral,and floors the gas! Your mind simply screams, out of gear, for what seems like forever. Unless you have experienced this "sound", you can never imagine what it is like.

  The scary thing about this? I am beginning to like these "down days". I  feel like I can do anything, and NONE of it is good. Believe me, if you had even a tiny idea of what goes on in my head, you would know instantly what a very bad idea it is to have me in one of these "moods". Here's a little hint...."Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name".

  Now, to see just what I can get into-----

A Quick Tribute---

  Cloud dropped by today for awhile. Very up-beat, and joking for once. But, as always, after Cloud has arrived, Squall shows up. Brooding, pensive, always dark. They have left, for now, but they will be back, they always come back. The only constant things in life. My life, anyway.

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   If you understand this, consider yourself "ELITE". If you don't, then don't worry, it is just a "game" to gauge my readers. If you DO understand, come back with a "Hell Yeah"!!!

Past Friends

  I'm Back. I have been thinking....stop laughing, it could happen! Last week I posted a page here, then took it down later---it just didn't come out right. Maybe a little harsh, or just not to the point. At least, the point that I wanted to make. Sometimes, I feel very limited by my vocabulary.....

  I will give it one more shot. I lost a friend (from the 'net) because someone ELSE said some terrible things to this friend. We will call the friend X, and the other party Z. Now, I don't mind "friends", because NO ONE EVER gets very close to me....I like it like that. But this friend thinks that they can dictate who I keep company with.

  Not good. Even my wife doesn't try that with me. I would never believe that I could dictate someone else's life. I can make suggestions, but nothing more. If someone doesn't want my advice, or chooses to not heed a warning, then what comes next is THEIR decision. I have NO REASON to become angry with them.  "To each his own destiny".

  The problem here is that the friend not only turned their back on me, but challenged me in a public forum. They justified this by saying "I did not use your name". Yeah, thanks----you left NO DOUBT about whom you were referring to! This caused several other people to turn their backs on me, also. Thank You for that. I now KNOW, without a doubt, just WHO I can trust.

  As for "Z"?? Always there, never hating me, and NOT turning their back to me. Kind of makes you wonder, doesn't it? I made the mistake of banning "Z" from this Journal, for the sake of supposed "friends". I am working to correct that at this time. Welcome back, "Z".

  We all know that I grew up hard, blah, blah, blah..... I have since tried to soften my ways towards others, only to find that the more I change, OTHERS remain the same. Same old shit, just different names and faces.....and the world grinds on.

  At the core of this, these "friends" should remember ONE THING; The very insignificance of our existence should never be overlooked! The fact that we even lived our pathetic, mundane little lives will be completely erased within one (1) generation. Lighten up, and get over yourselves. Neither YOU or I  are THAT important. Deal with it now, and get over it. You will live MUCH HAPPIER!!

PAIN!!

Good day to you, my children. Today's entry is quick and dirty. I seem to have pulled a large muscle in my back, and am enjoying lots of pain! Who would'a known?? Anyway, have a good weekend, and I will try to find some pain-killers, or at least a lot of hard liquor!!!

 

The More Things Change---

Oh, the joys of Youth! My youngest daughter was listening to my music the other day. She asked what kind of "boy bands" we had back then. After stiffling a laugh that came from very far down, I told her these; ZZ-Top, Areosmith, Lynard Skynard, Crosby, Stills, and Nash, REO Speedwagon, Three Dog Night, Cream, Black Sabbath, it just goes on forever.

  She told me that they sounded "funny". I explained that she was hearing something that she has never heard before; Talent! I explained to her that most bands back then actually WROTE their own songs! The bands came up through the bars, clubs, and shitty little dives all over this country. They learned from those experiences, and even wrote songs about it! She was duly impressed.

 Now, don't get me wrong, there is some new music that I can just barely put up with. But, really, I think the only place an M&M (Eminem), should be is in a candy dish on my coffe-table!!  Can I get an A-Men??

 

       Be cool, folks, and party hardy. Live everyday like it could be your last---we aren't promised tomorrow!!

My Pensive Moods

Today finds me in a slightly bad mood. My oldest daughter and her husband have left for two months in Old Mexico. As you might have guessed, the grandchildren have gone with them. I always worry when they go that far away. They take a lot of stuff to Mexico with them, for my son-in-law's family, so they drive there.

 Don't get me wrong, I think it is great that the other grand-parents get to see the children, I just miss them while they are gone! And who wouldn't? I just tell myself that the other grand-parents only get to see them every three(3) years or so. I am only six(6) miles from them at any given time.

 Have a good day, folks, and I will try to do the same!

Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

The "Thought Police" are on Patrol!!

Ahh yes, in America one has the freedom to do or say as one pleases. We have the Constitution to thank for that. Written up over 200 years ago, by a group of foreward-thinking men, who were tired of being over-run by tyranny. Well, it AIN'T WORKING anymore!

 Take two cases I have heard about from CNN(even though it IS gov't. controlled). The first case was a woman, who strangely enough, decided to say that president Bush should be shot. This was no more than an opinion, NOT a threat. But the "thought police" decided it was worth their attention....she was arrested, and will stand trial for threatening the president. Fear the "thought police".

 The second "incident" I just learned about today. It seems two elderly gentlemen were outside a courthouse, and were making lawyer jokes. Some clerk(kiss ass), who worked in the courthouse heard them, and told a police officer. The men were arrested, and will stand trial.

  Let me explain something right here and now---I just went to Google.com, and typed in two (2) words; "Lawyer Jokes". I got exactly 1,870,000 hits!!! Now, it would seem to me that lawyer jokes are fairly popular! Who gets arrested for Blonde jokes? Ethnic jokes? Pope jokes? Police jokes? The list goes on and on.

 All of this shit comes straight from Washington, D.C. We need to take back OUR country from the politicians! WE pay their salaries, bloated as they are. THEY are accountable to US, not us to them! I can't stress this enough...wake up, and TAKE YOUR HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASSES!!

 Everyone says "Oh, but the gov't. is doing such a great job since 9/11". You're kidding, right? Please tell me you ARE just pulling my leg? If they had been doing their jobs, THERE WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN A 9/11!! And another thing, quit putting that shit off on the F.B.I. Their funding has been cut for the past several years, while the budget for the C.I.A. has grown. And, the C.I.A. runs SEVERAL OTHER PROGRAMS, none of which they feel they are accountable for!

 Doesen't it seem strange that the C.I.A. came up with the names of the 19 highjackers BEFORE the passengers on those planes??? Wake up, people! WE no longer have ANY FREEDOM! And these "country" singers lately only fuel the "False Patriotism" in this country. Stop it...only the rednecks are buying it. The rest of us know better.

 I would like to see things the way that our law-makers do, BUT I JUST CAN'T SEEM TO GET MY HEAD THAT FAR UP MY ASS!!!!

A Tribute to Old Bikers

  I came into this world nearly 45 years ago. I came here with nothing, and, for the most part, I have maintained that part of my life. But, when I was young, I met a group of people, people who were "outside" the norm of society. Those people were called "BIKERS".

 You have read most of what has been written in this journal, I hope. You KNOW my association with Bikers by now. What you don't know is what I learned in my time with them. Yes, I learned some things that a "kid" should never know; Let's just say that I was more mature than most "kids".

   I saw the Northern Lights, on cold, clear nights. It was the most wonderful thing I had ever seen! Not bad for a country boy. I learned to work on cars, as a mechanic. That single talent kept food in my belly, as I was growing up.

  I also learned to work on Motorcycles....that bought me drink, and "party favors" a lot of times! Hey, old Bros, do you remember laying a capacitor on a bench, and telling a rookie to go get it for you? If fully charged, the rookie only needed to learn the lesson ONCE!

 I learned about "Brotherhood". And not ratting out your friends! To this very day, I refuse to rat someone out, even if I hate them; that speaks VOLUMES for the Bikers that I knew. I hate a freakin' RAT!! Or an ass-kisser. I learned how to do business, and NOT get stepped on. I guess if you spend most of your young life getting kicked, you grow up wanting to kick back; I learned THAT very well!

 I learned about trust, as in, you don't trust anyone you don't personally know...and then, you don't turn your back on them. I learned what is right, and what is wrong. What? You say you can't see HOW someone could learn right from wrong living with bikers? Let me show you....

 I was 15 years old, and had NOTHING. A bunch of BIKERS put together a Harley Sportster for me. No strings, no money. It was understood that it would revert to the club when I left. I could live with that. They asked nothing in return. I was told some time later that the look on my face was payment enough! I have watched these men round up toys every Christmas for little children, who had nothing. These men gave, and asked nothing in return, ever.

  Those Bikers taught me everything I know, and I am GLAD, no, PROUD to have been allowed to be with them. I was there through all the "Biker Gang Wars" in the 70's. Rough times, for sure. I was always told to not get in the scrapes, but I did it anyway. I learned even from these fights. I always wanted to see Bikers getting along, NOT fighting for "turf". It seems that now a days I may have finally gotten my wish!

  So, the next time you are on the road, and pass some "crusty old Biker" on a ratty looking bike, just remember, it COULD be one of my friends. If you insult them, you insult me; and that is a BAD THING.

   "RIDE TO LIVE, LIVE TO RIDE".

Racial??

 I let my wife drive now, all the time. I never drive anymore. Now, that's not to say she didn't drive before now, it was about 50/50 with us. Because of my terrible mood swings, violent temper, and vision problems, it is just safer to let her drive.

  What does ANY of this have to do with the title you ask(you DID read the title, didn't you?)?  Now, I can see things that I have missed before when speeding down the road. Some things are quite disturbing, for example; A statuary in a person's yard.

 This "piece of art" depicts a Mexican man leading a small burro. It stands there, night and day, glaring for all to see. A shameful thing, at best. Why would I even care? My daughter is married to a Mexican man. My grand children are half Mexican. Therefore it it offensive.

 You see, people around here used to have little black men in their yards, holding lanterns, leading small burros, whatever. They were sort of "outlawed" a while back. I don't think there was a law passed, or anything, but it was considered in bad taste. I still think it is.

  I wonder just HOW FAST someone would come down on these neighbors if the little man in the yard were black?? I am thinking it would be fairly swiftly. But, the Mexicans who live around here "don't want no trouble". So, they put up with the humiliation. They also put up with people doing them wrong in other ways.

 It's disgusting, really. One group can yell foul play, and another can't. Hey, neighbor, why isn't there a little WHITE GUY in your yard?? Why not a BIKER?? Why not a farmer?? Why not a RED-NECK?? We have PLENTY of those around here!! Oh, wait, YOU ARE ONE!!!!!

You Must be Joking!!

  "Let God help you with your problems". I have heard this alot in my life----useless advice. Even George Bush has said that "God is on my side".  Are you kidding?? God actually told you to start a war in two(2) countries at once, and kill innocent civilians by the thousands? All because you want two(2) men breought to Justice?

   What a load of shit! All this talk of God, Allah, Jesus, what the fuck is going on?? We have had CENTURIES of people killing each other for "Religion".  The people in power WANT you to believe in some "Divine Power" so you can do "noble" things, like killing people in wars.

    God "spoke" to George Bush? Don't make me fuckin' laugh! I guess next, he will be hiring psychics, like that Dumb-Fuck Ronald Reagan! God will help you? Like Hell!

    God isn't dead, you idiots, He NEVER WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Feelings--We all Have Them

  Feelings, so many of them. We have anger, sorrow, hatred, love, compassion, and others that I could never imagine! When you stop to think about it, humans are fairly complex animals. Not to mention the fact that each one is totally different from the next, and you have a fairly messy species!

    I know a person, let me rephrase that. I MET a person a few months ago on-line. "Strange" is a good start for describing this person, albeit the understatement of the century! Eccentric, quirky, weird, these are good words to use also. But, hidden behind all of that junk is a bright, intelligent(when they want to be), person.

  Now, some of the other people that I have met on-line don't like this other person. For the sake of clarity, this person will be known as "Z". Z has made LOTS of people VERY MAD, and, at times, has caused even a benevolent soul like myself(stop that giggling!), to just go outside and throw things. Or worse! But, through everything, I never gave up on Z. I have always advocated that Z needs professional help. I can only suggest this to Z, I cannot make Z go.

    Now, as for my other friends who also know Z. They gave up on Z. I really can't blame them. Z is VERY stubborn, and Z likes to change their identity on the 'net all of the time. Then, Z will proceed to piss people off by insulting them. I feel bad for Z, but I feel worse for my other friends. Why? You shall soon see.

     It has never really been a secret that I am constantly trying to help Z. I don't sneak around to do things. If you ask, then I will tell you up front. A couple of my friends won't even return my e-mails right now, and it has to do with Z. I can't understand this. Had one of them been in this situation, would they have wanted me to give up on them? What kind of person would do that??  I am not that person, I can't afford to be. I have done far too much wrong in my life that I am trying to make up for!

    Z does LOTS of things wrong, there is NO QUESTION of that. But to just walk away, and side with everyone else? All Z ever wanted was a little attention. We are ALL guilty of that at times. I have always listened to my other friends' problems. I have offered any advice I thought would help. I don't like just "giving up" on someone. Even a lost cause.

    I am truly sorry, friends, but I refuse to just walk away from someone who obviously needs help in their life(Z). What if it were you, and all you could see was my back as I walked away? Would you think so highly of me then? Would you think of me as "noble"? I think not.

    This is taking far too many words to say something VERY simple. I have LOTS of friends, and I enjoy them ALL. Quirky, weird, strange, goofy, idiotic, whatever. It's what makes them ALL just WHO they are!!! Besides, if you KNOW me, then you know that I always root for the under-dog!!!