On Fixations

 Nothing so lodges something in your mind more than the wish to forget it.

More Zen

Zen Sarcasm - Part Two...

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A Continuation---of Sorts

The world continues it's slow, grinding, forward motion. "Time and tide wait for no man". Life, sad as it is, goes on. we all just try to go along as best as we can.

Life Lessons

 

Zen Sarcasm -

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

 

:-(Holla' If You Hear Me!!!:-(

Truths Revealed

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.
- Voltaire

 

 

To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men.
- Abraham Lincoln

 

To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.
- Mohandas K. Gandhi

Home

I am home from the hospital...the woman is still here. I know I am a fool. She says she feels bad about what she did. Yeah, she feels really bad, huh? Why didn't she feel bad when she was fucking that guy? I don't believe anything she says..........

I'm A Fool...

  My wife finally called home today. You want to hear something corny? I love her. I hate her right now, but I still love her. Twenty five years ago, I gave my life to this woman. I have tried to give her everything she wanted that was within my grasp. Twenty five years of my life, and this is how she spends it.

  There is one thing you need to understand; I am fiercely loyal. I have never played around on her...I agreed at our wedding that from that moment there was only one woman in my life. I kept it that way untill now. I have only two things in this world, my name, and my word. My name may have been given to me, but my word is my own, and I don't break it.

     One other thing about me...I will not take a life. Ever. No one gets to decide if another lives or dies. Yes, I am an old Biker, but I have never taken a life. Don't get me wrong, I can get down when a situation calls for it, but never have I needed to kill to control the scene.

     So, there it is. When she called this morning, I told her that she has to follow her heart. If I am no longer in it, then so be it. I refuse to share her with another man. I simply told her that she must choose, me or him. There is no "in-between" in this situation. My heart and soul(if there is such a thing), belong to her, but my destiny is my own. I am still around after the life I have lead because the fates think I am not finished. I think I have work to do in this part of the voyage. Thanks to all of you who responded to me in my time of need. I just need a little more time. Forgive her? No. Learn to live with it? I'm not sure, but I explained to her that I can no longer go through this with her, and I will not do this anymore.

 

          I have no idea why this woman is trying to break me, but I told her today was it. I will do this no more. The strain alone is killing me. I will not choose between her and Hell. I will simply walk away from it all. I deserve better. This crap has gone on too long. I am just too tightly wound to keep this up. I am right at the edge of just completely un-spooling.  There are times that I cannot control what I do. It is sort of like being blind...the shit just happens, and I end up seeing the aftermath. It's like I'm not there when it happens. I guess my mind takes me away from it all. I know that I am not "normal", but what the fuck am I? I feel like a raging beast at times, and I cannot stop it.

 

          Holla' If You Hear Me.

The Wonder of it All

 A warrior prepares for battle...part of that preperation also includes the acceptance that death could come. I prepare as such. People ask why I don't believe in God. I watched God die a little every day as I grew up. I guess I finally finished Him off the first time  I stuck a dirty needle in my arm, or with my first joint, or maybe my first acid tab. Whatever did it, He died a long time ago.

 

           Now, with a heart as broken as they come, I prepare for battle, maybe my last. I will bow to no man, nor woman. I will have retribution; no, there will be a Reckoning. Nothing less will suffice. Blood for Blood my heart cries out! I have been hurt enough in my life. There shall be no more. Ever. I hope my children and grandchildren can begin to understand this as time passes. Destiny awaits.............

Bad Things Happen...

  Well, I just had an interesting chat with a young fellow this morning. Seems he actually caught my wife with someone else. He also stated that he confronted her about it, and she begged him not to tell me. I need help, something very bad is going to happen....I cannot take this anymore...I should not have to go through this all the time. Are all of these people lying, and she is the only one telling the truth?

 

         When I think of the things I wrote about her, and how much I loved her.  My motto is "Death Before Dishonor". I would never do anything to go against that. But this MUST come to an end, and I only know one way........

Another Rant

 So, I would like to first tell all of you that I am working out everyday on the Rack. I am sometimes working out three times a day. It certainly doesn't hurt, so it must be helping. Working out on this machine is a pure joy. There are more than 60 excercises you can do on it! I love it. I guess that is why so many people like their's.

 

          Now, for the "rant" part of this posting. Have you noticed the proliferation of cars that have 22 or 24 inch rims on them? We live out in the country, and I am seeing more and more of them. The worst are the front wheel drive(FWD) cars with these huge rims and tires! Why are they the worst? Well, I will tell you, from the point of view of a mechanic.

 

           When you switch to 22 or 24 inch rims, you have just added more rotating mass to your vehicle. With more rotating mass comes added wear and stress. Larger tires and rims can literally add hundreds of pounds to your vehicle. Want to know a little secret? All that added mass will destroy your drivetrain; that includes the transmission, CV joints, and universal joints. Oh, and did I mention that all of that added rotating mass takes farther to stop? Yep, you give up "braking space".  Let's say your car took 120 feet to stop from 60 mph...now, it takes a lot farther to stop! Can you say "rear-end collision"? You might want to learn it...you will certainly be using it!!!

 

              If you want to go to bigger tires and rims, at least check into some four or six piston brakes.  Do it for yourself, and not for me. You might also want to check into an upgrade for your tranny...it could mean the difference between walking home, and driving.  At least think about these things...what if a small child runs out in front of you? Believe me, you will not stop in time. Physics  are against you. Physics win every time. Be smart, the wheel and tire placards on your vehicle are more than a suggestion, they are a good guideline to follow for your vehicle. Oh, one other thing...larger tires and rims can reduce your vehicle's performance. Why? It comes down to weight...more weight translates to less, or slower performance!

More Humor(some of us need it)

Life's a Beach...

A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day.

She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing. She would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around, then speak to them.

Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money for something she carried in her bag. The couple assumed she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know for sure they just continued to watch her.

After a couple of weeks the wife asked, "Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?"

He hadn't and said so. Then she said, "Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she's really doing."

Well, the plan went off without a hitch, and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man walked up the beach and met his wife at the road. "Well, is she selling drugs?" she asked excitedly."

No, she's not." he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.

"Well, what is it, then?" his wife fairly shrieked.

The man grinned and said. "Her name is Sally and she's a battery salesperson."

"Batteries?" cried the wife.

"Yes," he replied. "Sally sells C cells by the seashore."

 

Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Some Quick Humor

Here is a little quick humor for today....

 

We Do Things Differently Down South...

Kentucky:
The owner of a golf course in Kentucky was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Kentucky and I need some help.

If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

You gotta love those Kentucky women.

Louisiana:
A senior at Louisiana State was overheard saying... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana." When asked why, he replied he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.

Mississippi:
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?" The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number.

Tennessee:
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

North Carolina:
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, "I have a flat tire." The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."

 

       ;-)Holla' If You Hear Me!!!;-)

Well, Here We Go

 So, I forgot that Saturday I was to spend most of the day at my oldest girl's house for her birthday party. So, on Sunday I was wiped out. I did manage to do a little time on the "machine". Keep tuned in, folks, from now on, I will refer to it as "the rack". Just a little humor there.

 

       Now for the bad news...the measurements.  Chest-50". Biceps-14.5", Flexed-16".Thighs-25.5"  Waist-49". Weight-284pounds. Well, there you have it. The worst is my biceps; they used to be 19" when flexed. I have always had my best and most power in my arms. My legs have always been about average, I guess.  I have, at atimes, been able to snap a standard 2x4 with a single kick, but I haven't tried that in a few years.  I attribute that ability to my combat training, both in and out of the Army.

 

         Ok then, like I stated before, I logged some time on the rack Sunday. I also worked for about ten minutes this morning. It seems that if you have heart problems, a brisk 20-minute workout is NOT a good idea. So, I came up with a plan...why not do TWO workouts per day? Say ten minutes each, morning and evening?  I think that is the best thing for now. But, here is the best part; as I get stronger, and can last longer, I will already be acustomed to working out twice a day!

 

            Here is another mistake some people make starting out; trying to move what is their limit of weight for a few reps. I think it is better to go lighter, and use that amount for more reps per session. I learned that in the Army. Well, not much else to report. The wife got hammered at our daughter's party Saturday. I had about five beers, but since it was outside, I watched what I was drinking. So much of the meds that I take are "photo-sensitive" that I burn easily. I didn't need to be drunk on top of it!  Now then, play nice together untill you hear from me again.....my little minions!

 

          ;-)Holla' If You Hear Me!!!;-)

At Last!

 Finally, I got this damnable machine together! Believe me, if you can put one of these together, you don't need it! I am accustomed to building cars, motorcycles, trucks, you name it. But this thing....this thing is perplexing. I'm sorry, that is the only word that I could think of. Your first, and best work-out is getting the thing together. I was only stumped a couple of times, but that was because of certain things being damaged in shipping. Not alot, just enough to keep them from fitting together right. Luckily I own several "persuaders"!(You know, hammers, torches, pry bars...etc.)

 

            Jean, glad I could help. And, for the record, not EVERYTHING I write has a bad ending...LOL. Listen, someone, somewhere loves you(me and the family, for starters). Ok, enough of that.  You know to "HOLLA" if you need me.

 

             Now, for the rest of you "minions"...I will post those measurements either later tonight, or tomorrow. I will also try to update you daily on my work-outs. You know, how long, what kind, etc. What was that? Now, now, you can't have THAT measurement....let's just say that I haven't had any complaints....LOL. Be good, all of you. And if you can't be good, then for pity's sake, don't name it after me!!!!!

 

        ;-)Holla' If You Hear Me!!!;-)

"Hope"

...... As humans, sometimes all we have is "hope". It is the filament that sometimes helps us keep this tentative hold on something we call "life". Look, the world will never work the way that we want it to, sometimes, something will "slip" in the "cosmic halls of what is right", and for awhile, things will go our way. It doesn't happen often enough, true, but it does happen. I like it when things slip...in that instant, I have a chance to make things work for me...in that instant, I am finally "in control", if only for a little while.

"Hope" is our lifeline. "Hope" is what drives us to keep on going. "Hope" is why we try so hard to do the things we do. Good, bad, or indifferent, "hope" is the human way. If there is no "hope", then what is there? Chaos, mayhem, and anarchy; then, only the darkness presides. Never give up "hope".

 

      A man called "Yeats" once wrote something that I kind of remember, I think it went like this..."the center does not hold, things fall apart", or close to that. Yes, sometimes things do fall apart, but in that melee, there "hope" will rise up, and help to repair the "center". "Hope" IS THAT CENTER. It is able to come back together only because of "hope".

 

          ;-)Holla' If You Hear Me!!!;-)

 

 

What Hath God Wrought?

 Well, my Bowflex came today...sort of. It seems that the only box with the nuts, bolts, and washers was left out. Oh well, shit happens.  I will still post my "measurements" before I start to use the machine. There is no way that I would leave you out of this. Win, lose, or draw, I am keeping you informed. Good or bad, right or wrong. You will be along for the ride.

 

          Now, I refuse to "fudge" the numbers. I want real results, not someone's dream results! I will check in after six week's worth of work, and see the results. And don't worry about me working out wrong, they(Bowflex) sent me a DVD, and a large book on just what to do. Some of the exercises aren't for me, but most are. Let's see just what happens, ok?

 

          Well, I had BOTH grandchildren today. Talk about a handfull! This has been one long day! I am looking forward to my oldest's birthday this Saturday! Drinking, pig-cooking, and playing with the young'uns! What more could a crusty old bastard like me ask for? Not much, I'll tell ya'! Laterzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz,

 

                :-)Holla' If You Hear Me!!!:-)

Who Cares?

 So, I was reading the news, and it seems that Bill Gates isn't the richest man anymore. Turns out, there is some telephone magnate in Mexico that is worth $67.8 Billion. There was a poll beside the information that gave you these three choices, 1) I am surprised,2) I am greatly surprised, and 3) I am not surprised. I declined the poll, because there was no fourth choice..."I really don't give a fuck"! I guess it was just an oversight, huh?

 

     As I write this, I am drinking my favorite beverage...that's right, BEER. I love beer. I have certainly drank enough of it in my lifetime! Will I still drink it when I have my Bowflex machine? Yes, occaisionally. The only way to get me to give it up completely is to bury me in the ground. And why not? People have drank beer for more than 2,000 years. I happily join that crowd. I don't need to get drunk, I just need a few to take the edge off. You try living with pain everyday for most of your life. Go ahead, I'll wait...or not.

 

           Tomorrow is my 25th anniversary. Too bad only about 23 of those were good ones. Well, I guess everything comes to an end. You can't have everything, and all that good shit. So what if I am in a sex-less marriage? Maybe it will get better, but I just don't see it. Leave it to a woman to fuck something good up! I always figured it would be me to fuck it up. It just seems in my lifetime that I manage to fuck up everything. Not this time...it was all her! Fuckit, I say. Shit happens. Oh well, "que sera sera".

 

Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Two Anniversaries

 Today is the anniversary of more than three years smoke-free. Here are a few stats from that endeavor...

Your Quit Date is: Wednesday, December 03, 2003 at 12:00:00 PM
Time Smoke-Free: 1307 days, 17 hours, 18 minutes and 18 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 39232	Is this still your Quit Date? YesNo
Lifetime Saved: 9 months, 29 days, 16 hours
Money Saved: $6,867.00

__________________________________________________________________

    The second anniversary is my 25th anniversary for being married. That anni hits tomorrow, the fourth; At least the not smoking thing worked out.

 

     :-(Holla' If You Hear Me!!!:-(

Still Crooked, After All These Years

Well fuck me runnin'! George W. Bush commuted "Scooter" Libby's prison sentence! How nice of him. Just the thing to do after he(Bush) actually gave the OK to go ahead with the leak anyway. Why, you just can't have agents from the F.B.I running around telling the truth to the American public. What the hell did that female agent think she was doing? How dare she! ...It's called "sarcasim", live with it. It seems to be a lost art lately.

 

        This shit looks about as good as the British MI5 agent who stated that there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, and then decided to go jogging in a park and blow his own brains out! Yeah, people who kill themselves very often put on a jogging suit and head out for a very public place to splatter their brains all over said public place! If you can't see by now that America and the rest of the world were lied to, you better open your eyes!  America is now in a very dangerous place, and there is no getting out. Saddam Hussien(sp) was tried and hanged for "war crimes", and "crimes against humanity". George Bush should be tried, also, for the exact same things. He misrepresented, misled, and downright lied so he could invade Iraq. Don't tell me he didn't. Anytime you can go nearly anywhere to view soundbites of his that are pure lies! I just can't understand HOW this prick was elected. Oh, wait, he never WAS elected! Thanks Florida, first those damn Cubans, now this...

 

         :-(Holla' If You Hear Me!!!:-(

Still Waiting

 Well, here I am,still waiting for my Bowflex. I hate waiting, but in this case, there is nothing else to do. I did read in the news where the gov't finally decided to give a green card to the wife of a missing Marine. Looks like they finally did something right. While I do not approve of illegal aliens, the card was fully warranted in this case. I'm glad to see that they didn't fuck this one up.

 

         It has come to my attention that I have never told anyone here just WHAT I wanted to be as I was growing up. You may find this strange, but not every kid says "I want to be a Biker when I grow up". I always wanted to dig up Dinosaurs. If not that, then to be an Astronomer. To look at the stars and planets. Shocking, isn't it. I always figured I wasn't smart enough to be in either field. Well, that, and other people telling me I wasn't smart enough. That sort of shit kind of puts holes in your "bucket-o'-dreams", as it were.

 

         Since I almost always had my hands in the guts of some engine, I just naturally went the path of the mechanic. Somewhere along the way, my dreams got lost. My one dream that I haven't given up on is to publish at least one book. That was a dream that has lain in the back of my mind for nearly thirty years. I used to keep a journal all the time. I knew that my life was far different from any other teen's. I knew I was on to something...I wasn't completely sure what, but I knew there was something there. Something that needed to be told. Something that might help other kids, to keep them from the path that I took, or was forced by circumstances to take. Let's face it, I didn't exactly have it easy.

 

         It's funny, but having said that, I have to come back to the Bikers. I learned so much from them; some of it actually good. The sense of brotherhood. Of taking care of your "family", and them taking care of you. Of "having someone's back", and them having yours. A sense of loyalty. Of never "giving up" your "Brothers" to others. Never. That is one of the simplest rules of all..."Rats Die" was the saying. I still feel that way to this day. I won't rat someone out, ever. Even if they rat me out, I cannot do the same. I just can't bring myself to do it.

 

        Just another quick note of interest; the good folks at Bowflex say you can see results in just six weeks with regular work-outs. Well, let us see, shall we? I will post some measurements of my body here, and in six weeks, we will review those measurements, and see just what has transpired, ok? I will post the measurements(settle down, girls), as soon as I have the machine here, and set up. I will be looking for growth in my arms, chest, legs, and a reduction of my stomach. So, it looks like the Bowflex guarantee will get just as good of a work-out as me!!! TTFN! (Ta Ta For Now)

 

        :-)Holla' If You Hear Me!!!:-)