Still Here

Sorry that I haven't been here for a couple of weeks, but I have been a little sick due to a bad head cold. There just isn't much to say at this point. I am still working out on the Bowflex, although I had to somewhat curb the workouts because of the illness.

 

       Funny thing, I complained last week to my doctor that my blood-sugar readings have shot back up noticeably.  She explained that an illness such as this will make it go up. She also told me that as time goes on, it will become harder to manage. I also learned that it is already doing damage to my kidneys and other organs. Fun times, people, fun times. It doesn't help that I watched my wife's brother die from this very same thing! I have pain in my feet, and in my hands almost constantly now. I was told this is nerve damage due to the diabetes. Cool, huh?(that's sarcasm, if you didn't catch it)

 

        So, here I sit, wondering what the fuck is next. I did have the grandchildren for about an hour this past Saturday. They are still spoiled rotten, and I am still responsible for it! LOL Till next time...

 

:-) Holla' If You Hear Me!!! :-)

Adverse Reactions

It has come to my attention that more than a few of my readers are taking bets on whether I will "go postal" or not over my wife's torrid little affair. Quite simply, the answer is NO. Just NO, I will not. Why? Lots of reasons.

 

      First,and foremost, she isn't worth it. If she will do this once, she will do it again, and I will not have that happen again. Secondly, I abhor killing for ANY REASON. A lot of you already know this fact, but have seen fit to just throw it to the wind. Well, I haven't! I will spill no one's blood other than my own, if even that. Again, she just isn't worth it anymore.

 

       Thirdly, and I can't state this enough, she will not give me the name of the "man" who she fucked. She swears it was only one time(sure), and that he was some type of travelling construction worker, and that he has gone home to wherever he lived prior to coming into contact with her. How do you kill what you can't find or identify? There again, no bloodshed. Sorry, guys, but it looks like some of you "lost" on your bets.

 

        Now, the tongue lashing that some of you so richly deserve. Where do you get off wanting to see blood in this matter? I daresay that some of you would not have handled this matter in such a fine manner! I have not touched my wife for her tresspass. She has not been harmed in any way. She knows full well that she does not have the same place in my heart, and that I now view her with contempt and venom. I can only spit whenever I speak her name, and it bothers her. Now, most of you also know that I will not support the killing of ANYONE. Were I to find this "man", I would surely harm him, of this I have no doubt. But to kill him over what amounts to a piece of ass? That is hardly sporting, eh?! So, those who bet against me, give up the money, guys, you were betting on a three-legged horse from the start!

 

;-) Holla' If You Hear Me!!! ;-)

Autumn

Why do the leaves turn so many colors? Why is there a crisp bite to the Northern Breeze? Why is it still 95 degrees at this time of year? Indian Summer is what we used to call it as kids. Ahh, to be a kid again! To rake leaves, knowing that you will jump in the pile, and scatter them everywhere! To actually go out and play with a sweater on, to keep away the chill October air. Not this year!

 

        I used to think that global warming was just a farce. Not so much anymore. Where is my October air, with it's distinct bite? Where is that chill at night? Sort of cold, so you have to get up in the middle of the night to close the bedroom window? Not anymore. It was over 90 degrees today, and will be in the upper 70's tonight! Something is wrong here...something sinister is at work. I think we are being lied to about global warming. As I have said before, we used to cut wood this time of year because it was cool enough to get the work done.  I worked at a saw-mill one summer, you do not want that job!

 

        I love the colors of fall. But without the cool air to go with it, something is just missing...if I could only get my muse back. She used to like this weather. Sadly, she only comes when I drink, and I haven't been doing that lately.

 

 ;-) Holla' If You Hear Me!!! ;-)

Everything is Lost

Even my muse has abandoned me in my time of need. I desperately need to be very drunk. Just to smile once again, oh to feel something other than this crushing depression. I don't want to go on, but I feel that I have to. I still have a daughter at home. and I still have two grandchildren whom I love very much. I just cannot do this much longer. It just seems to me that my wife got off with nothing. Her infidelity cost her nothing, but has very nearly destroyed me! Is that fair? Should I have to suffer this badly for love?

 

         Should I continue to love her? I still do, you know. Somewhere, down deep, I still do. I pledged my life to her...I never gave her permission to waste it like this. I thought I knew pain. I was wrong. I learned a hard lesson...trust no one, ever. And NEVER trust anyone with your heart!

Another Day

...Another day...I go through the motions of the living. I hate being alive. I hate my life. I hate everything about my joke of a marriage. I want to forgive, but I can't. I spent more than half of my life being loyal to her, and she rips my heart out like this. Dying is better than living in this instance. I can't stand being alive anymore, I just can't live with this on my mind....

New Poem

                                           Death of a Dragon

 

I used to write, and I used to rhyme

I loved to make people laugh all the time.

But time, as well as tide, wait for no one.

Some terrible things to my soul have been done!

 

A heart is a fragile thing, it really is

A man can be hurt, no matter how "big".

At the center of it all, a woman, wouldn't you know

She did her best, struck the fatal blow.

 

Was a time when she was my best companion,

Now, I am no longer her friend or Champion.

I loved her, and to do my best I always tried,

But the magic, and the love have died.

 

She was a friend, a pal, and a lover

She was a woman like no other!

But recently her infidelity has shown through,

And I am stranded, not knowing just what to do.

 

My heart will never mend,

Of our love, is this the end?

I try to forgive her, I really do,

but this is something very hard to go through.

 

I live each day as the next,

broken, forlorn, just writing the text.

I go through the motions of each day,

Constantly wondering why she strayed.

 

They say that death comes many times to those who flee...

What of a broken heart, what of someone like me?

Death for me can never come quickly enough,

Even though I drink from the poisoned cup.

 

A tainted love, now not worth my time,

She ruined it, it isn't worth my time.

Oh, she said she was sorry, and she cried

But I couldn't believe her, not after she lied.

 

;-( Holla' If You Hear Me!!! :-(

Things Goin' On

 Well, I am practicing on my guitar. Progress is slow, but there IS progress. I used to play some, but that was a lifetime ago. I need to say something here. About a week before my oldest girl bought me that new guitar, my wife brought one from the store where she works. They were going to throw it away, but she rescued it. It was in terrible shape. It looked like a lost cause.

 

           Looking at it, my wife said I could fix it up. She KNEW I could fix it. I was skeptical, but I wanted to share her enthusiasim, so I siad that yes, I could fix it. The back was completely off of it...the strings that were left(all 2 of them), were strecthed far beyond their useful life. Some of the tuning pegs were gone, and it had holes in what was left of that back piece that was off of it. Damn, it was useless! It wasn't even any good for parts! There just weren't enough "parts" to use!

 

         Well, it is sitting in a corner of my computer room/office. If you pick it up, you can actually play it. That's right, it works, and  I expect my youngest girl to play along with me! She said she wanted after I finished it! If you look at the back, you can see all of the work that was done to it. I wanted it that way. It reminds me that even "broken" things can be mended...it just takes some time. Now, where can I apply that message in my life? I think I know, maybe.

 

 ;-) Holla' If You Hear Me!!! ;-)

From a Dear Friend...

 

This is timely, considering the Amnesty bill Congress will be voting on soon...
 

Let me make this perfectly clear!

THIS IS MY COUNTRY!


And, because I make this statement  

DOES NOT mean I'm against immigration!!!  

YOU ARE WELCOME HERE IN MY COUNTRY.

Welcome to come through like everyone else has.  

Get a sponsor!  

Get a place to lay your head!  

Get a job!

Live by  OUR rules!  

Pay  YOUR taxes!  

And  

LEARN THE LANGUAGE LIKE ALL OTHER  

IMMIGRANTS HAVE IN THE PAST!!!

AND PLEASE DON'T DEMAND THAT WE HAND OVER OUR  

LIFETIME SAVINGS OF SOCIAL SECURITY FUNDS TO YOU

TO MAKE UP FOR ''YOUR'' LOSSES.


If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone,  

then  YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM!  


When will  AMERICAN'S STOP giving away  THEIR RIGHTS???

We've gone so far the other way ... bent over backwards not to  

offend anyone. But it seems no one cares about the  AMERICAN

that's being offended!  


WAKE UP America !!!

If you agree ... pass this on.

if you don't agree ... delete it!!!

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