Burn Out, or Fade Away?

  In the song "Rock of Ages" by Def Leppard, they say it is better to burn out than to fade away.  Hmmm, I take that to mean it is better to go out in a blaze of glory than to grow old, and slowly fade away. I wonder which is better?

 

       Ever hear the old saying "die young and leave a good looking corpse"? Same thing, I guess. I feel that I am still "burning brightly", for now.  I think that maybe I would like for my star to shine forever, and NOT fade away, or burn out. Barring that, I would settle for a little "fading burn".

 

        Sort of after you have burned for awhile, then faded away. All of a sudden, you experience a second burn, leading to a final fading out......not so bright that you over-shadow all others, but just enough that someone will point to the sky, and say, "Hey, did you see that"? Just enough so that a few people would notice on that late evening, looking into the twilight sky.......just a gleam, or a twinkle.....just there, to the West....

 

             Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

What's Up??

  You may have noticed that I am writing a lot more lately. I think that  it has to do with me trying to get back on an even keel. Maybe, either that, or I am just full of s**t lately. Either way, you, my "minions" benefit(or suffer!), from it.

 

         I would like to thank Mrs. "M" for the term of 'minions'. That was, and still is. so cool. And this person STILL  doesn't know just how much I think of them. I really do hold this person in high esteem. They taught me so much about computers, and just what I was doing...it is unbelieveable how much we can help someone when we least expect it. Oh well, "que sara sara".

 

         Now then, on to today's news....there isn't any! Nothing happened here today. Well, they had a "Monster Truck" parked at the local Subway. That's right!! We got a Subway store last year!! The first new thing they have put in this little shit-hole in 25 years!! I guess people got to eat. I love their sandwhiches, but I like them without meat on them. I am always hungry after eating them, why pay the extra $2.50 for the meat?

 

         That's it for today, I need to get off of here and let my wife call from work to see if we need anything. Yes, dear, we do...we need some more "giggle water".

What to Do?

  Well, well, what have we here?

  A messed up old Dragon,

  Who has had too much beer!!

 

  He fancies himself an old English Bard,

  Someone kick this asshole out to the yard!!

  He loves to rhyme,  and he loves to write,

  But sometimes, he can't rhyme for shite!!

 

  He is Irish and Indian,

  And he loves to fight!

  Give him some room,

  And he will get it right!

 

  Some say he was born 400 years too late,

  The poor old bastard is a pure reprobate!!  (that means bad-guy to you!)

  He has friends, here and there,

  But he pulls words right out of the air!!

 

  Stand by, and give him some drink,

  His writing is bad, but at least it doesn't stink!!!

  He is known  here and a'far,

  Had he been smarter, he could have passed the bar!!

 

  Sometimes, his writing is sparse,

  He doesn't give a damn,

  He might even say ,

  "Kiss my Arse"!!!

 

               Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

 another original poem from the "Dragon Master"!!!

Tomorrow is Garbage Day

   Hey, how about those Snail Races? Kind of gives you the chills, reading about all of that excitement, doesn't it?  It didn't...???? Are you kiddin' me? Well, some city-folk just don't know how to have fun!!!

 

           Ok, for today's title, "Tomorrow is Garbage Day".  It happens every Wednesday here, maybe a different day for you. Try this, when you take your garbage out, take out some of the garbage you carry with you everyday.  Don't understand? Are you carrying an old grudge against someone who did you wrong? Drop it off at the curb. Mad as hell that YOU didn't get that promotion?? Drop it off at the curb.  Someone looked at you in a funny way? You know what to do.

 

          We sometimes tend to carry more "garbage" than we really need to. Let me tell you from personal experience...that shit gets heavy. Drop it off. You don't need it any more, you don't DESERVE to be weighed down with garbage....drop it off.  I hope these few words can help at least one person today, or in the future.

 

            Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Smalltown Entertainment on a Saturdy Night

It has come to my attention that I have never told any of you just what we do in my small town for fun. Well, we do things at a slower pace than the rest of the world. We have a saying here, "do you want that on 'real world time', or on 'country people time'?". Real world time is right now, country people time is whenever we get around to it. It may be an hour, a day, a week, a month, hell, it could be a year! It WILL get done, we just tend to take our time.  So, maybe today's anecdote will help you to see just how much fun we can have here!

 

          So, we were all(or most of us), down at the city hall building one Saturday night, just watching the fresh coat of paint that Abner had finished that day. Here we were watching the paint dry, when, all of a sudden, someone in the back yells out, "This shit is boring as hell"!!  Shoot, we was only a couple'a hours into watching it!! It was determined that the person who said that was Bubba, and he was very drunk. Two of the men from the volunteer fire department said they would take Bubba, and all of his whiskey home for the night. Hell, I reckon those boys stayed all night with Bubba to make sure he was ok, 'cause we didn't see hide nor hair of them for a couple'a days!!

 

            In the meantime, it was decided that our town DID need some more entertainment for Saturday nights. A town meeting was called, and folks came up with different ideas. Some was good, some was awful bad. One thing was for sure,  old Abner could only paint them walls just ever' so often. After a few coats, he would have to scrape them off. As much of a bell ringer as that is, it COULD get boring after awhile. Then, someone came up with an idea that would put our town on the map(the local maps, at least!).  Snail Racing.

 

              You heard right, Snail Racing. This idea was put to a vote.  After some talking, and some drinking, and a little more drinking, the Mayor said the motion was passed!! And just for good measure, Hiz Honor also said we could bet on the races!!  Hot Damn!! Racing and gamblin' all in one night!! We were sure to draw a good crowd!

 

           Well, as is often the case, Saturday night came along right after Friday night, and 33 people entered snails in the first annual Walnut Mississippi Snail Race. Yes siree, they was 33 little snails, all with their shells painted like them there NASCAR Stock Cars!! The Mayor was so proud he was just about to bust!! No one expected this big of a turn-out!

 

           Once the race got started, and the whiskey started flowing, my wife and I took our seats to watch these little champions fighting for the win. After about an hour, Bubba's snail pulled out into the lead around the track on the first lap!!! Bubba was just beside himself. Sadly, in the second hour of the race, Bubba's snail skidded out of control, and hit the wall in the back stretch! That poor little guy went up in a small ball of fire, and was finished for the night! About the time that little guy exploded, it was discovered that Bubba was cheatin'. He had gotten his snail to drink some Moonshine so he could run better. High Octane, you understand.

 

                After about six hours, on the tenth lap, there was a horrible pile up down the front stretch! There were fully 15 snails involved in the crash!! It started when the lead snail laid down too much slime, and spun hisself out! The carnage was just more than any human should ever witness! It took two (2) hours to clean up the track, and cart off the dead and dying! I have never seen such a terrible sight. A few minutes later, we thought that we would have to call the race on account of rain. Just about that time, someone pointed out that we were indoors, and the track was only about 50 feet around!  Then we spotted "Old Elmer" 'relieving' himself while standing on top of the Mayor's desk!! He was escorted outside.

 

            About eight hours after it started, my wife and I had had all the excitement we could stand, so we left. That was three weeks ago, and they are still running that first race!!! I think someone should make the motion to limit the races to just 250 laps, instead of 500!!!

 

         So, now that you know just how much fun we have here, come on down to the snail races...just be sure you have plenty of time to stick around!! C'mon, y'all, we'll leave the porch light on fer ya!!!

 

                        Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Another Monday??

  Well slap my ass and call me Sally!!! Monday again? Still cold as a witche's heart here! But, at least the temp will get to 40 degrees today. Not much happening here right now, I was working on a new kind of bracelet.....it will be stainless steel. I will most likely call it the "Lightning Line".  I want to make them highly polished.

 

              Hmm, for once I don't have much to say....oh well, wait untill this afternoon, when I get a little 'buzz juice' in me!! I am sure that I will find something to bitch about then. Hey, I see you back there rolling your eyes skyward....you KNOW you want to hear me bitchin' about something!!  Hey, Mollie, Love Ya, girl!! You too, Jean, Alece, Mrs. "M", Sally, and anyone that I forgot to mention.  Yes, Shirleen, you too....you more than anyone!!

 

                    Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

                    Still 26 months smoke free!!!!!!

The Meaning of 'Hardships'

I almost forgot this shit, but it is too cool to NOT tell!  Last week, when my wife and I had our taxes done by a leading firm, I won't say their name, but it rhymes with  "H&R Block".  Anywhoo, the lady doing the taxes asked us, "did you incur any hardships from hurricane Katrina"? Now, some of you know me as well as I know me, and I just KNEW that I was about to get ME in trouble!!

 

       "Did I incur any hardships from hurricane Katrina", she asks....YES, YES i DID incur hardships from it. Gasoline for my car doubled OVERNIGHT! My town Mayor was kind enough to send out flyers saying that the natural gas that we heat our homes with had just jumped 70% in price! A 10 pound bag of potatoes at the store jumped to $5.00!!! For POTATOES!! How far is natural gas shipped to my home...three(3) miles. There is a huge pumping station just three(3) fucking miles from my home!! It sits on one of the LARGEST natural gas deposits in the area!! The price of everything MORE THAN DOUBLED OVERNIGHT!! I am disabled, and on a fixed income! Yes, I DID incur hardships from Katrina....

 

        The lady found this "interesting",(her word), but stated to me, "The Federal Government does NOT consider being poor a hardship".  No shit! Well, then, someone has been lying to me! Go with me sometime to buy a car...it seems that I "don't make enough" to buy a car! I have to go to my doctor once a month...I live in the country, NOTHING is within walking distance from my home! Ok, well, with the exception of a quick piss in the woods, I forgot about that.

 

         Whoops, we need furniture. We have had this shit for more than 10 years. "I'm sorry, you just don't make enough money every month". Isn't there somewhere that you can report discrimination towards disabled people? No, not in the great state of Mississippi! It sure is funny that my definition of "Hardships" differs so greatly from the government's! Shit, I need to get on their page.....oh, wait, I don't make enough each month to buy that book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

                    Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Thank You All

  Howdy, Folks!  It is a very comfortable 29 degrees here in Northeastern Mississippi today! Ice is everywhere! I am really diggin' it, too! Why? Weather like this is a very legitimate excuse for NOT reporting to work!! So, my wife is home today, all day! I think I may just get her drunk and take advantage of her!! LOL  No, really, I am just kidding(wink, wink).

 

         The great state of Mississippi has ZERO contingency plan for bad weather in the winter. Good for me, I say. My wife has never driven on snow, and doesn't want to learn!!!! Me? I love to go out and cut do-nuts in the stuff! I used to drive in Ohio, and Michigan. I am a "certified" ice and snow driver! I really dig it!

 

        I have no plans for today, other than to finish a model truck I have been working on, and to work on a painting that I am doing. Oh, and maybe look at some porno, as long as I am already on-line!!!

 

             Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

"Ode to a Brother Lost"

 My brother, I have heard that you are lost,

 I can't believe you are gone, and at what cost?

 I heard that you were gunned down by "the Man",

 How can this be, I should have been holding your hand.

 

  I have known you all your life,

 We have been together through war and strife!

  I can't believe that you no longer live,

  To see you again, what i wouldn't give!

 

  I remember, fighting back to back,

  There wasn't anything we couldn't hack!!!

  We did it all, you and me,

  There wasn't anything we couldn't be!!!

 

    I'll miss you now, I don't know just what to say,

   I just wish  I could have been there on your last day.

   You didn't go easy, I know this to be true,

   Like me, there wasn't anything that scared you!

 

   Brother, my brother, we will meet again,

   Maybe we can hook-up and drink some gin.

   I will never let you go, I will take up the slack,

   Because I know, You have always got my back!!!

 

 

          This is for my younger brother, Marvin Edward Goodson. Killed by some  piece of shit deputy in Missouri. Rest in peace, brother. The piece of shit that gunned you down will never rest, as long as I live!!!  "Ride to live, live to ride, bro"!!!  You will be missed.

 

Holla' If You Hear Me!!! 

Did I mention that I hate fuckin' Pigs???

Back on Line Today

   Well, here I am again. Yes, we got the stereo installed in the car...A new radio/cd player, and four (4) new speakers! I must say, it is quite an improvement from the "stock" radio. Although I kept the stock radio. Those things can go for more than $100.00 on the re-sale market!

 

               What am I doing right now? Well, working on a good buzz, what else? I found out from the nut hospital that I am schizophrenic(sp?) with manic-depressive tendencies. I guess that means that all of the voices in my head tell me to harm you, but that we will feel REALLY bad later on!!! LOL

 

          I have been accusing my wife of some heavy shit lately...it isn't her, it is my meds, and my screwed up head! I at least HOPE the things I have accused her of were wrong. I just don't see how she hasn't shot me yet?!?! Sometimes, I wish someone would. I seem to be getting as bad as my mother was...I REALLY don't want to go there! I grew up watching my mom self-destruct every single day...I hated it then, and I fear it now!

 

          I don't want to get like my mom. I spent most of my life hating her, but it wasn't her fault. I had just begun to understand her when she was murdered. That kind of sucked, because I thought that we might come to some kind of understanding...and she was taken away from me. I was never able to tell her I was sorry for hating her.  I will regret that untill my time comes to be taken from this place. I truly will.

 

       Ok, enough "tragic" shit. It is Friday night, and YOU should be partying with your friends, not sitting there reading this crap!!! Get up, get out, and tip one back for the ol' Dragon Master!!! I will "see" you tomorrow, or Sunday. That's right, even I don't take Sunday off!!!

 

       Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Got Buzz?

Whooooooooo!!!  I am buzzing my azz off! When I have nothing to do, and I have a case of beer, then I have something to do!!! It takes about the whole case to get off!! I quit smoking, so at this time, weed is out of the question....I am the only "smokeless" Dragon on the 'net!

 

        Can you believe it? Kids these days get upwards of $5.00 just for a "j". Shit, the last time I bought one, they were only $.50!!!  For $5.00, you could get a "nickel bag". That was usually weed two (2) fingers deep in a "baggie". I guess inflation gets everything! Hell, I can remember when a case of Schlitz beer was only about $3.00!!! Smokes were $.35 per pack, and a carton was only $3.50!!!  Hell, minimum wage was about $2.25!!  What the hell happened??

 

               Anywhooo, screw it! I am working on a good buzz, and I only have about 4 beers left in the case. I guess I need to call the ol' lady, and ask (notice I didn't say 'tell'), her to bring some more "buzz water"!!!  I won't be here 'till late tomorrow....I am taking the car to have a new stereo installed. I need my jams while the ol' lady is driving!!!!!!!!!!

 

             Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

MAking Someone Happy

  Well, well, well...here we are for another day. Good morning to you, my 'minions'!! Oh, yeah, hello to all the little "monkeys" out there who only follow in other's footsteps---Dance little Monkeys, Dance!!!  On to today's topic.

 

          Have you seen those bicycles at Wally World (Wal-Mart) that look like chopped out motorcycles? They are the original Schwinn Stingray bikes, but they look like a chopped and stretched Harley. You KNOW that my youngest daughter just HAD to have one! That's my girl! Well, she got one yesterday. My wife and I brought it home, and I put it in her room(no mean feat since we live in a house trailer!!)

 

        When she came home from school, I told her to clean up her room....c'mon, how many teenagers have a CLEAN room at any random time? That's just what I thought, now shut up! So, she goes to her room. Now, usually I hear a lot of grumbling, and NO CLEANING. Hmmmm, yesterday was different...NO SOUNDS came from her room! I expected at LEAST a few squeals of delight.....nothing.

 

           This, of course, bore further investigation from ol' dad, the hippie biker! Imagine my surprise when I found her with a dusting cloth in her hand, wiping off the dust that had accumulated while the bike was in the store!! She informed me that a bike like that should NEVER be dusty. Dirty from the road, but never dusty with house dust!!

 

          These words from my little girl gave me an idea, aside from the fact that she may have been born with my wanderlust. Her words said to me..."Take it out and use it, but never let it collect dust"!! How true. I think we take for granted our talents, and let them collect dust in the back of our minds. That's sad, and I know a little girl who would tell you that to your face.

 

              Do this; today, do something that you haven't done for a long time. I could care less what it is. Sew, knit, go play in the snow for a few minutes. Just do something you haven't done since you were a kid! I don't care if you just pick your nose in public, just do it! Make sure it is something JUST FOR YOUR PLEASURE!!! Don't do it for your boss, your spouse, your kids, or your parents....do it for YOU. Here's the kicker---it has to make you laugh, or at least feel good. Play some of your old records really loud! Say "hello" to people on the street that you don't know. Just do something, don't let those things that make you happy collect dust!!   Me? I am doing just what I like...writing. I am also cooking dinner for tonight.

 

                      Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

The Dangers of "Adult Toys"

    The dangers of adult toys. Not THAT kind of toy, get your mind out of the gutter. Besides, there are young 'uns here!! Damn perverts!  No, this "toy" is far more dangerous, even though it does take batteries like the "others".

 

        This toy is called a stun gun. You know, one of those little black square things, it only needs ONE nine(9) volt battery. Ah yes, the stun gun, personal defense of women everywhere, and the bane of full-grown men! That's right. It is fortunate that men do not carry purses,(I am talking about real men, not those New York City types!). If you think a woman can cram lots of shit in there, men would do FAR BETTER. Hell, we would carry a case of beer in a purse if they made them big enough!!! (Wouldn't that be called a 'cooler'?, But, I digress).

 

              And therein lies the problem. Beer has been the down-fall of many a good man. Take for instance my (cough, cough) friend; let's call him "Elmer" for now. Seems that Elmer had drank a few too many one day, and his wife asked him to change the little nine volt battery in her stun gun for her. Elmer, being a good man and all said to her, "sure, honey". Keep in mind that Elmer is a 'normal' human male, and therefore curious by sheer nature; sometimes to a fault. Also keep in mind that Elmer LOVES his beer.

 

          As Elmer is reclining in his favorite chair, he replaces the battery in this stun gun. As he does so, he gets to thinking; "this thing only takes a nine volt battery, how could it scare anyone, especially a real man? I think it noteworthy at this point to say that Elmer is about to learn one of those "life-lessons" that we spoke of long ago.

 

           What Elmer doesn't know is that through modern technology, some smart-ass has devised a way to take a small amount of direct current...say nine(9) volts, and convert it to something  like 100,000 volts. Generally enough power to jump-start that damn shuttle that N.A.S.A. flies on occaision!!! Elmer picked out a spot on his Bermuda-shorts clothed thigh, and without a second thought, pulled the little trigger on the side of the aforementioned device!

 

        Did I mention that a shock from one of these evil little bastards, uh, I mean devices, CAN, and usually DOE'S  result in the loss of some bodily functions, namely the complete, and instant emptying of one's bladder? Did I also mention the fact that when drinking large quanities of beer, this is a forgone conclussion? And did I mention that water and electricity don't mix? Elmer learned ALL of these things at once!!! Elmer also learned just how much pain a 275 pound man can take before he passes out!!!  Evidently, Elmer had just reached that stage!!!  Poor old Elmer!!

 

               So, what have we learned? Let your wife change her own damn batteries!!!

 

                 Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

My Dilemma

  So, as some of you know, I was back in the nut-hospital a couple weeks ago. This was my SECOND TIME in as many months. Upon my release, I was told to go to my "local" mental health center on a daily basis. I can do this because they have a little 'bus' that comes around. This should be no problem for me...just catch the bus in the mornings........a real no-brainer!

 

         Oh, but that life were that simple. Do some of you remember the doctor who spoke to my daughter, and he decided that I was molesting her? This little cock-sucker was proven to be wrong, and offered NO APOLOGY!  He has yet to say that he was wrong. The little fuck-stick won't even face me.

 

           So, I find out the hard way that he STILL works there, and has forbidden me to go there(the mental health facillity) for treatment! Fuck him! Everytime I try to do things like I am told, some pig-fucker stomps me, and spits in my eye!  I have had it with this shit!  At this point, I think my 'theroy' is correct; the gov't picks out certain people, and fucks with them their entire life, just to see what happens when they 'snap'.  Well, Uncle Sam, MY rubber-band is wound mighty tight right now.

 

           There is no way that I can do as I have been told to do...this fucked-up little third-world piece of shit 'doctor' is standing in my way. I can't even get the meds they put me on at the hospital without going to the center! I hate these tiny little fucks....hell, you can barely understand what the fuck they are saying! I hope this little frog rots in Hell. I will be MORE THAN HAPPY to give him a head-start on his way there.

             

             So then...I have had to fight for everything else in my life, why should this one thing be any different? Fuck the little bastard! This is a man with no Honor, and no Integrity. I WILL beat him at his own game......or, I COULD just BEAT HIM. period.

 

                    Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Could It Truly Be???

  Can you believe it? A 'Rock-n-Roll' bible, AND Poetry right in the middle of that!! Shit, this kid can do it all!!! A friend of mine recently told me that I am good at "overcoming adversity". Hell, I just thought it was "Life"! I see my life as 'normal'(whatever the hell THAT is). So, lets try to finish up the Bible. I AM NOT re-writing the entire bible, just the part where everyone starts be-getting someone!!!

 

             So then, we are up to the part where there are more people popping up on Earth. In the REAL BIBLE There was only Adam and Eve. Then shit happened, yadda yadda, and Cain and Able were born. Cain kills Able, then lies about it to 'God'. Here again is some of that bullshit that we are expected to believe. The bible states unequivocally that 'God' is Alpha and Omega. The beginning and the end. He sees all, and knows all. Then why in the hell did he let one brother kill another? And the killing was for pure jealousy! Able made a better "offering" to 'God' than Cain did....Cain gets pissed, and 'whacks' his bro.!!

        

              Kind of reminds us of "Good Lovin' Gone Bad" by Bad Company. So, Cain is asked by the 'management' to kindly leave this place. "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" by Elton John  would go perfectly here. Also, when Able is found by Adam and Eve, another Elton John song is due..."Love Lies Bleeding". Yes, good ol' Cain left, and headed West(East?). He comes to a large city with.....what else....people.

            Here is the screwey part; where the fuck did those people come from? The bible has made no mention of them so far. The 'city' must have been Rome. I say that because Romulus and Remus(you remember your ancient history classes?), had been working over that way to build a city at about the same time. Oh, wait, the Muslims had 'Mahammed' working in that part of the world at that time, too!!!  Far to the East, wehave the Chinese working on population problems with 'Buddha'.  Well, well! Seems like LOTS of people were on the Earth about this time.  Hmmmm, seems like Adam and Eve had LOTS of competition!

 

             Confused yet? So am I. I guess I should conclude with a song, or two, by R.E.M.---Everybody Hurts, and Losing My Religion.

 

              Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

The Passing of Time

So here I sit, all calm and quiet,

My life so far has been a riot.

I'm not really sure how, but things have slowed down a bit,

Or maybe I just don't give a shit!

 

Nowadays, when I am cold and tired,

I like to warm my bones by the fire.

I like a few cold beers now and then,

I like my "little ones", and my quill pen.

 

What could it all mean, this quiet shift in time,

I think, finally, I understand my own mind.

I have seen and did it all, one could say,

I think I have secretly waited for this day.

 

I still have plenty of time left to make my mark,

So to my immortal words, one should hark.

I still piss people off from time to time,

I like to waste their time and mine!

 

The words from my pen, they come hard and fast,

I have to write them down, or they are quickly a part of my past.

Here and gone, they can be so fleeting,

I hope you have enjoyed this meeting!!

 

Holla' If You Hear Me!!!!

"Alpha" of our little R-N-R Bible

    Now then, Adam(Donny) and Eve(Marie) were kicked out of Paradise. What a shame. Here is where we seperate from the "normal" bible. Since "Adam" and "Eve" are brother and sister, they could NEVER have kids....(incest being a taboo in Christianity and all). So, just like when Cain killed Able, and was told to go  away, and he found people in a large city(which the "normal" bible NEVER mentioned up to this point), our "adam" and "Eve will just "find" a bunch of people outside the walls of Paradise!!! Cool, huh?

 

               So, after smoking the "Weed of Knowledge", our Adam and Eve are now cast out into a large city of people, just waiting to further corrupt our 'new' people.  As soon as they arrive, they find out there is a $15  cover charge, and a four drink minimum just to get in!!! Upon entering the 'city',  Axel Rose of 'Guns and Roses' fame sings 'Welcome To The Jungle', the re-mastered mix, of course. Then, from somewhere, they suddenly hear, 'Eye In The Sky', by  The Alan Parsons Project.  They know it is just 'God' telling them that he is still watching what they are doing.

 

       Adam and Eve both find someone to pair up with, and start hearing "Do That To Me One More Time", sung by, The Captain and Tennille, who else? God is sort of pissed...He wanted them to suffer "bad times". So, as a warning to them, he enlists the band of  Bad Company to sing "Burning Sky". This has no effect on them, and they have Bad Company to sing back to God. They come up with the song My Rock-nRoll Fantasy!  And Ozzy teams up with Incubus(who else?) to sing "Wish U Were Here"!!!!!!!!!

 

           Having said this, I hope that people realize that this is just for fun. I do not want a bunch of nut-jobs screaming about  the bible. If you don't like my composition, then, please, read YOUR bible YOUR own way. Keep the religious crap to a minimum, and we can get along just fine.  

                      "THIS IS A JOKE"  IF THIS WERE REALLY HAPPENING, YOU WOULD BE INSTRUCTED TO GET ON YOUR KNEES, BEND FORWARD, AND PLACE YOUR HEAD AS FAR BETWEEN YOUR KNEES AS POSSIBLE, AND KISS YOUR SWEET ASS GOODBYE!!!!

 

               Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

"Rock-n-Roll Bible"

OK, so now, here comes "Satan"...played by....Ozzy Osbourne!!!!! He slides on up to "Eve", played by Marie Osmond...(mormons and all, you know), And he says, Marie, don't even THINK of smoking this little "weed"!!! This little "weed" will give you the intelligence to make decisions on your own, without the help of "God".

 

             So, seeing that Marie was only Human, she smoked the "weed". She also got Adam,(Donnie Osmond), to smoke some too!!!! But, alas, "God" caught them. He called upon them, and said, "What hast thou done"?? And Marie noticed that they were wearing 'clothes', and she and Donnie were ashamed. So, they stripped, and stood naked before "God".  And "God" said, are you not ashamed? They both answered  "NO". And "God" said, "Ain't that some shit?"

 

             So, Ozzy  was cast out of Paradise, as were Donnie, and Marie. The 'Bands' got to stay. I know, this deal sucks, but it turns out to be beneficial to ALL of humanity. Since the "bubble-gum bands were kicked out of Paradise, it made room for BETTER bands!!!!

              Now, here is where things get strange. "God" says that he is ALPHA and OMEGA; He sees ALL, and Knows ALL!! If this is true, then why did He tell Donnie and Marie NOT to smoke the "weed"...He KNEW they would do it!!! Why give them the temptation, and give them explicit orders to NOT smoke of the "Weed of Knowledge"??? Shit, He couldn't have done any worse if He popluated Paradise with stoners or Jamaicans!!!  And people saythat "God" doesn't make mistakes...yeah, right!!!

 

                         Holla ' If You Hear Me!!!

The "Rock-n-Roller's Bible".

OK, the rock-n-roller's bible. The beginning of time as seen by the rock community. Thought I forgot, didn't you? Kiss my ass, I don't forget anything!!

 

        Ok, our first book of the Bible will be called ALPHA. Shit, I can't call it "Genesis"; hell, that is Phill Collins' Band!!!!!!! Ok, so, in the beginning, "GOD" looked at the heavens(space, the final frontier...etc), and said, "Damn, it sure is dark out there". "Let me see if I can shed some light on this", so, He created "The Carpenters, and The Osmonds". And 'GOD' said, "this is good". Of course he said that, who the hell else was around??  Pretty soon, 'GOD' was tired of "bubble-gum" music. He said, "Shit, we need some DARK". And 'GOD' created people like Metallica, AC/DC, and MegaDeath!

 

           And 'GOD' was pleased. Well, DUH, who was judging Him? Anyway, 'GOD' said He needed something to populate the new world He had created...so he made the Beatles. Pretty soon, 'GOD' needed some mammals, so he created the Animals. And while we are at it, why in the HELL do I have FIVE(5) different shades of black when I change the text color? Isn't it a moot point? Black is black, and white is white? Unless you go to Ikea, fucked-up Sweedes!!! But, I digress-----wait, that's what I do all of the time!!!

      

               OK, enough for today....tomorrow, the "bands" get thrown out of Paradise. Well, most of them...we will keep one band there. Hey, shut up---the "hits" have to come from somewhere!!!!! Till then..."don't sweat the petty stuff, and for shit's sake, don't pet the sweatty stuff"!!!!!!!!

 

Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Thanks to "Mr. Death"

A friend of mine tried to give me a kick in the pants to keep me going----Thank You, Mr. Death!!! I still like this incarnation of your personality. And thanks for the kick in the ass!!! It was about time I grew some stones, and stopped acting like a damn VICTIM!!! I am forever in your debt.

 

       Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

"When Doves Fly"

We have all heard from Prince,

and about how his doves cried.

But this is a story about MY Dove,

And her need to fly!

 

So, one day, my Dove came to me,

I knew it would happen eventually.

The kids were nearly grown,

The house quiet, the yard freshly mown.

 

My Dove said to me;

"I need to try my wings,

I want to get out, to see and do things".

My heart was broken, I wanted to cry

But I knew, I had to let my Dove fly.

 

So, in time, my Dove was flyin',

This time for me was very tryin'.

I told myself that she would be back,

My trust in her I never lacked!

 

Things were great, for a time,

I was so proud of that little Dove of mine!

There she stood, tall and proud,

Little did I know that time was running out...

 

Now, some will say that this was my on doin'

I let her fly from the nest, and brought about my own ruin.

But listen, and don't get me wrong,

I had to let her go, to sing her own song.

 

I have never "owned" my little Dove,

Even though she was my whole life, and my only love.

I just knew that our love was strong,

But to my surprise, I was wrong.

 

There are people in the world who don't give a damn,

For the love shared between a woman and a man.

You can be strong, and stand your ground,

But these sneaky Bastards still come sniffin' around!

 

They come when no one is looking,

and before too long, it's YOUR kitchen where they are cookin'!

They whisper in the ears of a true little Dove

To convince her it is they that she should love.

 

They are here, and then gone,

Leaving only broken families and destruction in their wake,

It is YOUR LIFE that they want to move in on.

If you let them they will, they are good fakes!

 

"Sorry little Bastards", says this old 'coot',

So damn slimy, you wouldn't even scrape them off of your boot!

They creep, silently, like a thief in the night,

If I catch this one, I will do him up right!

 

And my little Dove?

Well, she's just fine;

After all, she's not his---

SHE IS MINE!!!

 

                               Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

P.S. If you steal my work, I will find you!

 

 

 

"Holla' If You Hear Me"!!!!!!!!!!!!

   WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!! Get the hell up, and make some noise!!! I have been down, but not anymore! I have been romped on, chomped on, and stomped on! I have been sliced, diced, and even minced!!!!! Fuck all of that mess!!! I am here, I am back, and I intend to start kickin' some ASS again!!!!

 

            So, come on in, and sit down! When you come here with me, you ARE a hostage!!! I will kidnap your attention for the breif moments that you are here!! GOOOOOOOOD   MOOOOOOORRRRRRNING  AMEEEEERRRRIIIICCCAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am back, and taking no prisioners. If you get in my way, I WILL run over you...I am a truck coming down a mountain with no brakes, and a full load behind me!! I am dynamite, TNT, and a Thermo-Nuclear explosion all wrapped together, just waiting to go off!

 

             Now, having said all of that, I think I know a way to prove I am back!! Hang on a second, this page is done-----NEXT!!!!

 

                    Holla' If You Hear Me!!!!

"The BIG-BANG Theory"

Ok, I don't know why, but my poem came out all run together. I tried several times to fix it, but it stays the same??? Anyway, I have other fish to fry this day. Some of you will NOT like what is coming...........

 

          I am working on a "Rock and Roll Bible". Sort of how the world would  have been made if "God" were a rock-n-roller. This is only for fun, so keep the hate-mail to a minimum, ok? All of you that read here know my views on "religion"....I have said before, "If you don't like it, then 'change the channel'", as it were.

 

       Like I said, it is only for fun, and I have no idea  how long or short it will be. I would also be open to suggestions, and even comments on the work as it  progresses. Feel free to jump in at any time with those comments, even the abusive ones!!!!!!!!

 

                              Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

A New Poem (title it as you like)

  I seek Human company, but I am denied.     They never know I am there until their hands are tied.     Like the Ivy vines that cover the mighty Oak,     I am not noticed until they start to choke.         What am I, you ask?      To harm people, I am up to the task.      My name? Not just yet;      There is still more to this jest!         I can get you, young or old,      There are no others so brash or bold.       I come, and silently I creep,      You won't see me until you are in too deep!         You have seen me, full of dread and despair,      And yes, I can travel on the air.       I am depression, deep and blue,       Don't think yourself immune, I can get YOU!!!                             Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

"The Big Bowl"

     Ok, so one of my "minions"  says it sounds like my life is a "big bowl of crap", right now. While this may be true, the fact is that I can swim VERY WELL!!!!!!!! I haven't drowned yet, so I am far from giving up. With everything I have tried lately,(up to, and including, challenging the local cops), I am still  here. Either I am damn lucky, or someone(looking up), is not done f'ing with me yet. Either way, I am still here.

 

                  I have a good support team behind me, and I know where to go to get more help. This time, I will admit to my problems BEFORE they get too big for me to handle by myself. As you well know, I don't trust anyone; no, this did not change! Some things have changed, mostly for the better. My wife, I don't see how, is still here. Maybe she is just curious as to WHEN I will SELF-DESTRUCT!!! This could be interesting----then again, it could get BORING AS HELL! All the same, let's see how it turns out together? Are you game?

 

              Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

            Now at 26 months smoke-free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Home Again

As of January 24, 2006, I was incarcerated in the county jail for disturbing the peace. I got so pissed off that I called the County Sheriff's office, and told them to send a Deputy to shoot me----I was tired of being alive.

 

        The deputies must have been in a good humor that night---they only locked me up. F'ing cops have NO sense of humor at all!! I spent some time in the county lock-up, then on to the mental ward. Fuck, life is grand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

         So, I am back; actually, I am back as of Friday. So, children, let's get on with the business of living. Coop---c'mon and put your two cents worth in. Ialways welcome your input. I think you have seen everything, and would like to hear from you. Ms. Jean, jump in any time. Alece, give it a shot! Mollie, I KNOW you have something to say about it all. And let's not forget my sweet Mairia---even when she is tough, I still love her for just who she is.

 

            So, don't everyone jump in at once!!!!!!!

 

              Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

A Poem for the Love-Stricken out there

                                 The Way It Is

  A heart once so true

 Has hurt mine, and left it blue.

 I gave you all I had and more,  But you turned your back on me, and walked out the door.       I have loved you all my life,   I even made you my wife.   We used to share everything, you and I,   But you have hurt me so badly, I just want to die.        I can't understand why you hate me so,    I have given you all I have, and more.    I had a love for you that was so great,    All you show me lately is hate.        I want things to be like they were before,    But you refuse to come back through that door.    I don't mind if you learn and grow,    But it seems you have left me dead on the side of the road.        I'm not a Knight in shining Armor, I know it's true    But the only one I have ever loved is you!    We had the feeling, but now it has gone,    Please, stop what you are doing, and come home!     Holla' If You Hear Me!!!