Saturday, May 29, 2004


      Is it Saturday already? Sometimes time just this week!I think we have only spent one day at home this week. Our grandchildren have been here several times this week. I feel very bad today. I seem to be very shaky,nervous. If you know my works here,you know that is just part of my "illness".

         I have had to deal with people more than I like to this week. I like HOME. No people,and I don't have to watch my back all the time. Computers....we can now sit quietly by,and watch some poor bastard self-destruct! Ain't it neat..........

                                       Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Monday, May 24, 2004


      Thankfully,last week is over,and done with! I sometimes have bad times,and get really crappy with the entire world! I was reminded by a friend of mine that I am no longer like that---to that friend I say Thank You....there was also someone on this end to smack me around,too.

        The fact that both of my grand-children spent the entire weekend with me helped,also. I am frequently reminded that I am no longer 22 years old,and can't start "crackin' skulls" whenever I feel like it! Too bad,really,because I used to be sooo good at it!

        Anyway,be nice to someone today. Someone who will enjoy it---someone like YOURSELF!   I'm Out!

                                      Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Changing Times

Here is one for the books;my oldest daughter came over today while I was repairing my roof. Nothing strange about that,except that she climbed up the ladder,and set about to working on the roof with me! You may be asking "what is so strange about that?"

Before my daughter got married,and left home,she never had more than two words to say to me. She wasn't mean,or rude,she was just always in a hurry to go places with her friends,no time for "the old man",as it were. Now, she only lives about six miles from our home,but she will call,and spend close to an hour just talking to us! Don't get me wrong,I love it,but find it funny that this young girl,who had no time for her parents before,seems to have plenty of time for us now!

    She started to leave today,but I told her I was about to fire up the old grill. She couldn't possibly leave untill she had one of dad's grilled 'burgers! It just seems strange how we raise a child,when they are young,we play with them all the time. But in their teen years,they seem to be lost to us. Then they move away,and they seem to cherish ANY time they have with us! I don't guess it is meant for us to understand---just enjoy the times that we have them---let them out on their own---and be proud if they come back to us at all!

                                        Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Life Still Sucks!!!

Well,if things didn't SUCK bad enough,my mom decides to call me today. Six months ago she called to cuss at me for over an hour,and proceed to tell me I need to be reminded just HOW MUCH she hates me.....ok. So,I let this go on for over an hour,then I finally ask her if she is finished;she said yes,so I hung up. So much for mother-son relationships!

       I put that behind me for the time,untill today. She calls up and tells me that her boyfriend has beaten her up,and I need to do something about it.....Huh???

        I tell ya', that Karma is a bitch!!! "As ye sow,so shall ye reap" I'm out.....

                                              Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Tuesday, May 18, 2004


   Hmmmm....missed Monday. Sometimes even a great word-monger like myself has nothing to say. But now,for the really scary news! I SHOULD be seeing a psychiatrist/psycholigist.,but I am not! My last one quit back in January! She went somewhere else to make more money,or some hack doctor pi**ed her off....whatever.

     It is now more than four months since I have seen anyone! Needless to say,I am MORE than a little "antsy". Oh well,what the hell! So I sooner-or-later make a bunch of people famous??? Life sucks anyway. You couldn't understand,or wouldn't want to. Who cares? Certainly not me. I guess it is just one of those weeks! Screw that,it has been one of those lives!!!  God,how I hate people! I hate to go anywhere because of inter-acting with all of the idiots out there!  Screw 'em,that's what I say!

        They can all go blow each other! At least if you are reading this,you have SOME taste left! Dignity?? Hell,I lost that years ago! I seem to be on a roll tonight! Read my poem,you'll see just how I really feel!


Sunday, May 16, 2004

The End Of the World as we know It

                                                 The End

I don't care about any of you anymore-

Kicked around,and treated like society's whore.

All of you bore me,make me mad-

Move out of my way,before you wish you had!

Who is it that this man hates?

All of you,it is too late!

The time has come,say the voices in my head-

"Finish it,leave no one to even mourn the dead!"

I don't care how much you cry or weep-

To me,you are all just sheep!

Who will survive,when all is done?

Very few--just six plus one!

So,come on,I'll give you your few minutes of fame-

But you won't enjoy it,what a shame!!


This is an original work by me---it is NOT your's,you did NOT write it,I did. You may use it,but put MY name to it! You MAY NOT use my works for ANY profit,unless you cut me in!


      "One genius drowning in a sea of idiots".

             Holla' If You Hear Me!!!


Friday, May 14, 2004

I missed Thursday!

      OK,so I missed yesterday,get over it. I was out of town,busy,doing something. What was I doing? Trying to get insurance on my house at a lower rate. OK,I used to rip people off for the money I loaned them,but these guys have the perfect racket going! A lot of these companies operate just barely in the legal realm of business.

        Preachers,Politicians,and Insurance people are reserved a special place in Hell. I know that this is true! When I get there,I want to be the one beating them every minute of every day! These are people who would steal the pennies from a dead-man's eyes.

         I have had house ins. with the same company for the last 13 years. I decided that the latest "adjustment" to my policy was the last. I went with another company. Any better? Probablly not,but cheaper,and for the same coverage. The old company? I will get back EVERY penny that I have paid them for the last 13 years! I have NEVER made a claim against them,even when my roof was leaking,and they refused to help with some of the expense. There are far too many lawyers that are looking to make a name for themselves; what better way than to bring a suit against a large ins. company,and win?  Believe me,it CAN be done,and WILL be done by me.

           They never paid out anything on my policy,so they will give me back my money---oh yeah,WITH INTEREST!  Most people might think I am scum,but one look at me,and at least you know where you stand. No pretending,no bullshit,no cover-up. Insurance people shake one hand,and use the other to stab you in the back! Oh,and remember,these are just my opinions,EVEN IF THEY ARE THE TRUTH!!!!

                                                   Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

What If?

        As you read this,how many of you ask yourself "what if"? What if I had done some of the stuff this guy has done? Would I be different,richer,poorer,what if? I am glad to say that I never have to look back and ask that question. Even when I was young,I always thought "I never want to be old,and asking 'what if I had done this'".

        What if I never took a motorcycle through a major city,full throttle,between lanes,hoping no one opend a car door on me! What if I never got on a bike,fully stoned,and seeing double,and even triple? What if I never took a bike out on lake Michigan,in the winter,when it was frozen over?

         What if I never walked into a bar at 15,ordered beer,and acted as if I owned the place,so I wouldn't get carded? What if I never was in any bar-fights at that young age? What if I never dealt in stolen parts,drugs,and loan-sharking? I might have turned out better,I might have turned out worse.One thing is for sure;I would be different!

         I have health problems right now,no doubt from abusing my body so much. What would I change? Nothing! Sure it was hard. Sure it was tough,and I have some scars to prove it,but I would never change ANY part of it! ( I might have won more fights,maybe!) I believe that coming from where I did,makes me appreciate where I am a lot more.

        Got a girl you want to talk to,but are afraid to do so? Don't be---take the shot! You NEVER want to look back and say,"what if". Believe me,that is terrible. ANYTHING that you are wondering about,stop wondering,and do it. Don't get old,and sit around thinking "what if".

                                              Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

The End of a Pack-Rat's Dream

       Today is a bad day. I have done what most men will never do in their lifetimes; I actually cleaned a lot of junk out of our house that was mine. Yes,I actually got rid of a bunch of stuff! Some of it got trashed,and some will go to the yard-sale this weekend,weather permitting.

      This was mostly tools,and tons of nuts,bolts,screws,nails....just about 22 years worth of stuff! Most of it was car-related tools. I actually filled a large box with just "junk". Old pc boards,fan motors,several non-working things,you name it!

        What makes men keep things that will never work again? And evidently not just little grand-daughter was digging things out as fast as I could throw it away!!!!  I was laughing my butt off,she will be just like me! "ooh,Pop-Pop,you can still use this" was an oft' heard phrase today! This child will not throw anything away! Even the stick from an eaten pop-sicle is worth keeping. Who knew?

         The box of "garbage",as my wife called it,bekoned to me all day. It kept tempting me to go through it just "one more time" to be sure that there wasn't something in there that I could use....sooner or later! I fought the urge to dig in it,but it was so hard. I have one of those LARGE stand-up tool boxes...damn near as tall as me! It got to the point that we could find nothing without digging for at least an hour at a time! That will happen no more---it will be cleaned at least once a year from now on.

          Come on.if I can do it,then so can you. If you need to,just spray some WD-40 on your hands,so you can turn loose of the "junk" easier!  lol  Have a good one,folks!

                                            Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Monday, May 10, 2004

Monday Blues

   What you see here is a picture of me walking through life...Just like walking through hell. Some of my younger viewers will know the image,others will not. And  Yes, I know exactly who this is,he is the perfect anti-hero of all time. Inherently suited to me,and my style.

       I may have more to say later in the day,my "muse" seems to have taken the day off....Monday Blues,I guess!  She will return sooner or later,I guess muses need time off,too. Whatever.

              If you know the "person" in the photo,let me know,if you don't,then ask,and I shall might be surprised.

                                           Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Saturday, May 8, 2004

Mother's Day---

       Mother's Day...a day of great anguish,and great joy for me. If you are a woman with a child, love them. Don't let them grow up like me,only to BE like me. I can't stand my mother,but on the other hand,I have a wife who loves both of  our daughters dearly.

       My girls were sort of spoiled. I let them do just about anything. I did not,however,tolerate low,or bad remarks directed towards their mother. I have seen grown men cuss at their should be legal to beat the s**t out of them for that! With all that my mother has done to me and my brothers,I have yet to cuss her,or call her names,at least to her face. I still get mad at her,and have some not-so-nice things to say about her,but I am the only one to ever hear them.

        Love your children,and they will love you. Treat your children badly,and you will still be their mom,but you will lose some measure of respect from them. I can overlook some of the things that my mother did,she was,and still is,mentally ill. Everyone who knows her,knows this simple truth......everyone except her. I hope that someday she will come to the realization that she needs help; but she won't.

           I will once again celebrate Mother's Day with my wife of 22 years. She is a good person,a good wife,good mother,and my best friend. I don't recall how I got along without her----oh,yeah,I spent lots of time in jail! I will send my mom a card,she still wants nothing to do with her's sad,really. Not so much for us kids,but for her. She chooses to live her life like this,so I must follow her wishes.

          Take care of your children. You needn't be rich,you have the riches right there in your heart---use what you have. Like I said,don't let your children grow up to be someone like me; there are already too many like me walking around. You know us,you have seen us,and yet,when you see us,you look away....................

                                       Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

My Poems---

        My poems....some folks say that they are "dark",or ominus. Have you been paying attention? Of course they are dark;of course they speak of bleakness,and doom. What did you expect? Flowers? Fairies? Milk and cookies? Get real!

         If I had grown up priviliged,they would be different. At least I'm not one of those people,and have to guess what a life like mine was like. I know. I was there. I lived through it. Would I change anything? Wierd as it sounds,no. I see so many people who are just "Mundanes". This is what I call the everyday,plain vanilla people that I see. I can walk in somewhere,and all heads turn,conversation stops,and when it resumes,it is in low whispers.

          Walk into any "up-scale" store(J.C.Penny.Belks,Sears),and I immediately have "security" following my every move. This can actually be quite fun! I have watched young kids steal stores blind,while everyone tries to keep up with me! I have even purposely led security personnel AWAY from kids stealing things,so they could make it out. Hey,if you put all of your people on me,then I will just lead them around by the nose! It got so bad at one local Wal-Mart,I finally called the head office,and complained. It looked like I was some kind of rock-star with his entourage following him around! Kind of silly if you ask me.

           I never have a problem in restaraunts---I can get ANY seat that I prefer. Like I told you before,If you see me,then you will "see" me. I will look right through you,to get to know you. I believe the eyes are the windows to the soul,and I use them a lot. Funny,I can walk around in public,and people steer clear of me. But here at home,there is a three year old grand daughter who has absolutely no fear of me! Imagine,a three year old who will actually pull the beard of a man that grown people are afraid to even look at,let alone touch!

           I have a grandson who is not quite four months old,yet he lies in my arms and "coos" constantly! He has no fear of me. He will never have a fear of me. But,most people do,and I like it like that. Don't bother me,and I don't have to harm works out for both of us. Surely there are meaner people than me......yes,there are. But I do not fear them as some of you might. Meaner,tougher,quicker to fight,I have seen them---they nod to me when I pass by. It is called "RESPECT".

                                           Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Friday, May 7, 2004

Just My Luck...

  Here is one for the books. I used to work in a factory making a popular brand of furniture. I got along with everyone there,except one asshole. This guy was as bad as they come. Mean,nasty,bully,dumb as a post,and always saying he was going to kill one of us every day. A real piece of work,this guy even pulled a gun on me in the parking lot after work! I took real joy in humiliating him every chance I got; the other guys loved it,and he truly wanted me dead!

       One day,our foreman decides to quit. Guess who the company made the new foreman......? You got it! His first order of inform me that my days were numbered,and it was a very SMALL number at that! He wasn't kidding; his first victim was a young black man that he hated. He didn't last two full days! Then,he informed me that he was glad that he got rid of "that ni**er"! Oh,yeah,did I mention that he was a racist? He was. He never got to fire me,an injury took me from my job,and the constant threat that he was going to "burn" me the first chance he got.

        Well,time went by,as it does,and I found out that this psycho is now a Mississippi State Trooper! That's right,the highest paid,and most visible cop in the state,and he is one of them! Rumor has it that if he catches ME on the highway,I go straight to jail. No ticket,no warning,just jail. I am smarter than that. Having pulled a gun on me once before,I know that I will never make it to a jail. This is Mississippi,if a cop wants you dead,it is all too easy,and they know it. No one questions a state trooper,or ANY of his actions. It just doesn't happen.

        Don't these "people" have to undergo psychological testing? Aparently not! Prejudice? Well,that is a job requirement! Not prejudice,no job! And you thought YOU had trouble with cops where you live...........................

                                             Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Wednesday, May 5, 2004



Why is it you can’t see-

Violence is our destiny?

Man lives to destroy and kill-

To bend the world to his will.War,Death,and Rage-

Sometimes,we should all be in a cage!

So,don’t test me,don’t try my hand-

I’ll keep my ground,I’ll make my stand.

So,why is it you can’t see-

Violence is our destiny?

Violence is our destiny-

brought into this world,no direction foretold-

Now,what you created,you can’t control!

More raging beast than man-

I’m not one you can easily understand!

Forged like steel,from the flame-

I’ve lived my life without shame.

You say there is no God,religion is dead-

I say it is a state of mind,it’s all in your head!

Why is it you can’t see-

Violence is our destiny?

Violence is our destiny

There’s more to it than you can see-

Violence is our destiny!


         Please do not steal my work. This is an original piece by me. You are welcome to use it,but please put MY name on it,as it is my work. Thank You.

Tuesday, May 4, 2004

Old,New Friends

      I had to go to my doctor this morning. Nothing new there,I have to go every month;today was different. I met a young man who is in the Army. This young man is a "tread-Head"---a tanker. He LOVES his job!. We spent just over two hours talking to each other.

        I have never seen this boy before,nor he,I. Having been in the Army,and being a Track Vehicle Maintence person,we just hit it right off. I never got the young man's name,hell,I don't think I told him mine! We talked about tanks,driving tanks,firing tanks,working on tanks,everything. This young man was totally,and completely proud of being an American Soldier,and let you know it.

       This young man has a fervent hatred of news reporters....he does not like them,at all. I knew I liked this boy for some reason! This young man was completely animated while we were talking! He had the uncanny ability to almost sound like a tank firing it's main gun....repeatedly! You would have thought we had fought side-byside in many battles,not just met on the spot. This young man believes in what he does,and believes in it completely.

          He has been to Somalia,to the gulf,and many other places. He does not like anyone who speaks against the U.S.Army,but,like me,he said that he would fight to the death for their right to say it....I told you I liked this kid. He is a good(if loud)young man,in service to his country,and he knows the dangers. He is keenly aware that he could be lost at any time,and have to make the "Ultimate Sacrifice". He also has his own "views" as to how to finally clean up Baghdad...and he is very adamant about them.

             For this young man,and all of the young men and women in our Armed Forces,just let me say,Good Job,guys! You will never hear me speak badly of any of you,or the crappy job that you have been stuck with. I,and my family stand behind you,and,if need be,I can stand alongside you!

                                             Holla' If You Hear Me!!!