Ahhh, I see some of my children are still with me; good. For today's lesson, let us look deep into that lump of grey-matter we loosely call "the human mind". A non-descript organ, about 2 1/2 to 3 pounds of lumps, with small, electrical charges running all over it. Very easily "fried" when hooked to a large electrical current!
We go through life with this lump in our skulls, some say it makes each individual who they are. It is strange, but in childhood, it seems(for the most part) to function OK. Then we "grow up". Just when you were skating through this mess that we call "life", with little, or no trouble, the damn thing goes haywire on you!
It is suddenly like everything has been wired up by a blind man. Everything you knew, just sort of gives way to a "new reality", a reality that has nothing to do with being "real" any longer. This doesen't seem to happen to everyone---those people who are "unaffected" want to tell those who are affected just what is wrong; for $200.00 an hour!
You see, it happened to me. Some say from being abused as a child....some say from my time in a motorcycle gang when I was young. Some even say that some of the things that my mother did when I was young was "sexual abuse". You got me...I'm not an "expert".
I think I know just when I "broke"? Stopped caring...just didn't give a damn, whatever. I think it was somewhere around the 50th beating from my mom. You know, the really good ones, where she took a large leather belt, and hit your bare legs until she cut you open and you would bleed all night. That might have been it. Or, maybe it WAS with the bikers, maybe around the fourth, or fifth biker I saw lying on the pavement, bleeding to death from wounds inflicted by guns, knives, or crashes??
I guess we will never quite know just when little johnny "broke". But we DO know one terrible thing.....little johnny can't be fixed! Sleep well........sleep LIGHTLY.
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