What I Want---

 "Just what do you want, oh wise one"? I want a beer. A BEER...not some 'light' crap, or something with 'less carbs', just a freakin' beer! Schiltz, Pabst Blue Ribbon. Michelobe, Falstaff...all of the old beers you can't find anymore. MEN DO NOT drink "Zima". Little pussy yuppies do, not men.

    I want a cup of coffee. NOT this cafe` latte` shit, with all of the foam, sprinkles, and crap that goes with it. I just want coffee...black and hot! Not iced, french,(Irish is ok!!), espresso, whatever....JUST COFFEE!

    I want to know about the "in-field fly rule". Get rid of it. While you are at it, get rid of that damn "in the park" homerun! Bullshit! Let these over-paid, steroid abusing, "so-called" atheletes EARN RUNS. Do you believe Barry Bonds? Can we? First it was cork-filled bats, and now, steroids. It seems to me the only thing Bonds does well is get caught lying!!

      I want postal workers who will actually *smile*!  That's right, if the folks at Wal-Mart can do it, then postal workers can too! And, explain something to me. The post office constantly says that they recieve NO federal funding...but if they piss you off with their *smug-assed* attitude, you can say nothing, if you do, it can carry FEDERAL charges??? Who came up with that shit? It's OK for them to go nuts and shoot a few co-workers, but you can't say anything when they are shit-faced with you(that would be always!).

    I want people to quit smoking. Today marks ONE YEAR without a cigarette for me.  Please, hold your applause, I will sign autographs in the back. (LOL) Let me tell ya', it has not been as bad as I thought it would. PLUS, I have learned some useful things along the way. If you are ready to quit, I can tell you where to find support. Hell, just write to me with the subject heading; Want to Quit. I'll help you myself, if need be!

      I want decent clothes, made in America. NOT in some "Kathy Lee", or "Martha Stewart" sweat-shop in Malaysia, the Phillipines, or Korea. These people rarely grow to over five(5) feet tall! Stop making my clothes to either fit YOUR tiny society, or YOUR overblown IDEA of what Americans look like!!

     I want more, and BETTER rights for victims of violent crimes, or crimes of abuse! Fuck a criminal's "rights". If you are shown to be guilty, you get one appeal. If later it is found that an over zealous DA decided YOU were going to be their lap-dog, then I want these assholes locked up too....preferably WITH the person they did wrong to. That  should stop a lot of this shit that goes on in court-rooms these days. And, oh yeah, make the judges culpable, too.

       These are just SOME of the things I want, well and world peace, too. But that ain't gonna happen. So, just hand me a P.B.R. and shut the fuck up!   Later, Kids!