"The Big Bowl"

     Ok, so one of my "minions"  says it sounds like my life is a "big bowl of crap", right now. While this may be true, the fact is that I can swim VERY WELL!!!!!!!! I haven't drowned yet, so I am far from giving up. With everything I have tried lately,(up to, and including, challenging the local cops), I am still  here. Either I am damn lucky, or someone(looking up), is not done f'ing with me yet. Either way, I am still here.

 

                  I have a good support team behind me, and I know where to go to get more help. This time, I will admit to my problems BEFORE they get too big for me to handle by myself. As you well know, I don't trust anyone; no, this did not change! Some things have changed, mostly for the better. My wife, I don't see how, is still here. Maybe she is just curious as to WHEN I will SELF-DESTRUCT!!! This could be interesting----then again, it could get BORING AS HELL! All the same, let's see how it turns out together? Are you game?

 

              Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

            Now at 26 months smoke-free!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Home Again

As of January 24, 2006, I was incarcerated in the county jail for disturbing the peace. I got so pissed off that I called the County Sheriff's office, and told them to send a Deputy to shoot me----I was tired of being alive.

 

        The deputies must have been in a good humor that night---they only locked me up. F'ing cops have NO sense of humor at all!! I spent some time in the county lock-up, then on to the mental ward. Fuck, life is grand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

         So, I am back; actually, I am back as of Friday. So, children, let's get on with the business of living. Coop---c'mon and put your two cents worth in. Ialways welcome your input. I think you have seen everything, and would like to hear from you. Ms. Jean, jump in any time. Alece, give it a shot! Mollie, I KNOW you have something to say about it all. And let's not forget my sweet Mairia---even when she is tough, I still love her for just who she is.

 

            So, don't everyone jump in at once!!!!!!!

 

              Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

A Poem for the Love-Stricken out there

                                 The Way It Is

  A heart once so true

 Has hurt mine, and left it blue.

 I gave you all I had and more,  But you turned your back on me, and walked out the door.       I have loved you all my life,   I even made you my wife.   We used to share everything, you and I,   But you have hurt me so badly, I just want to die.        I can't understand why you hate me so,    I have given you all I have, and more.    I had a love for you that was so great,    All you show me lately is hate.        I want things to be like they were before,    But you refuse to come back through that door.    I don't mind if you learn and grow,    But it seems you have left me dead on the side of the road.        I'm not a Knight in shining Armor, I know it's true    But the only one I have ever loved is you!    We had the feeling, but now it has gone,    Please, stop what you are doing, and come home!     Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

To Be Given Away...

......To good home. One 45 year old white male. Of Irish-American Indian descent. He is 5' 10" tall, and weighs 270 pounds. Fairly good mechanic, and can fix most small appliances. Loves to play chess, writes poetry, paints, and is an accomplished jewelry maker.

             Knows his way around a kitchen,(that includes washing dishes), and has been known to change diapers on infants.  Ex-Biker, also some military training. Can hold his own in a bar-fight, can shoot, and is proficient with knives. Can also handle a compound bow, and currently owns three of them.

             Wife of twenty three years no longer needs him....all of a sudden she knows everything about life! Get your requests in quick, folks, this one should go fast............................

 

                    Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Too Tired?

    All of my life, I have had to fight for what little I have gotten. I'm not crying about it, I think it made me tougher than the average individual, and that is ok with me. But, when do you know that the fight is over? How much does one person take before they just throw in the towel, and say, "I've had enough"?

              I feel as if I am at that point. Confession time; I have tried to over-dose on pills twice since I have been home from the hospital. I just end up really sick, and sort of hung over. I just don't care anymore. I don't care if I go on or not. My wife said that she sold my guns while I was in the hospital. I guess I have to believe her, I can't find them here anywhere...and I have looked!

                  I can't explain this feeling, or feelings. It just seems that I have given up...I quit. I can't understand this because I am a fighter. If I weren't, I would never have made it this far. Can someone become so overwhelmed that they simply give up? At this point, I would have to answer in the affirmative. I really wish I had my guns...

....And You are mad Because??

Ok, this has got me really bugged. People are STILL bitchin' about the President using "illegal" wiretaps to listen in on phone calls. Excuse my stupidity, but after the events of 9-11-01, can you blame them? This issue puts me on the wrong side of the fence---the side with George Bush and his "Cowboy Cabinet", as I call them.

                 We, as Americans, want to be safe, but we want ALL of the freedoms in the world. Well, you can't have both without stepping on some toes. Hell, I expect that even my activities in this journal are monitored. As many times as I have spoken out against the leaders of this country, I would almost be disapointed if they weren't! So what if a few thousand international calls were listened to?

                 It has been known for many years that the gov't has these large computers that monitor EVERY CALL in the U.S. Don't any of you watch the "Discovery Channel"? They even showed the computers a few years back! ALL CALLS are monitored, certain words will be caught, or recognized, by the computers, and those calls containing those words are singled out for further scrutiny. It's simple, people, we have been monitored for many years.

                   Did you know that every cell phone and computer sold here in the U.S. contains a small chip to let the gov't slip in the "back door"? It is called the "Clipper-Chip". Or, at least, that was the last name I heard it called. During the first Iraqi war, back in '91, do you think it was just good work by our armed forces that brought Saddam down so quickly? It was partly due to them, but the gov't let it be known, after the war, that all of the computers the Iraqis were using were from the good old U. S. of A.

                At the start of the hostilities, a signal was sent to those computers, and they all crashed! "Strike from within". One of the most common, and often overlooked, strategies for fighting a war! Take away the enemies eyes and ears, and you WILL defeat him quickly. How do I know these things? Well, the discovery channel for one, and from a little book titled "The Art of War",  by Sun Zu. Pick it up sometime, and give it a read.

                You will most likely NOT find it on Oprah's reading list, but it is a good book. I find advice in there that I can use every day. So, let's stop pissin' and moaning about how the gov't is abusing our rights, and focus on the problems at hand...namely stopping terrorists from killing anymore Americans.

 

                Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

My "Minions"

  Well, I haven't written in a while, and I apoligize for that, my little minions! Someone once called everyone that reads here my "minions". The person did this to be mean and hurtful. Now, I could have gotten mad....sure, but what purpose would that serve? I kind of liked the idea of having "minions", so I used it to my advantage!

                Therein lies the reason for my latest diatribe---take what people use against you, and turn it around. Use it as a joke if you have to. Just, please, don't let little things get to you. There are far too many big things that will get you sooner or later. Life is short, I know. Believe me, I know.

             Besides, the person who coined the term "minions", referring to the people here, is someone I sort of know. I don't think they really meant anything bad by it. I really like that person, and I just decided to take it in stride. Besides, this person and I share more than they are willing to admit....but I won't tell what  it is.

                "Don't sweat the petty stuff...and don't pet the sweatty stuff!!!!!".

 

                Holla' If You Hear Me!!!