A little known Subject

           If you have read from the beginning(March 30),then you may be asking....where was your dad in all of this? Good question!!  I met my real dad maybe three times in my entire life. Scum,deadbeat,drunk,piece of shit no good lowdown thieving scum bag. Yeah,that works. Never knew him that well,and didn't miss anything.

           I was contacted here recently,while searching for one of my brothers. Seems my dad's sister got ahold of my phone number from all of my calling,and decided to call me. Seems "dear ol' Dad" is in bad shape,and "needs" me. He even lives next door to the sister that called me!! He couldn't call? Too good to talk to me? My mom might have did some not-so-good things,but she at least made an effort to raise us,no matter how badly she failed at it.

           This piece of crap wants ME to come help HIM?? You must be kidding me! Write me a letter when he dies,then you MIGHT get a response. Where was he when I was growing up? Where was some child-support? Where was HE to teach me the things that my mother taught me? Shooting,hunting,tracking,fighting,cussing,and other "guy" things? What have we learned today,kiddies??

            That one person REALLY CAN carry enough hate in his heart to fuel the entire world!! Are other families as fucked-up as mine was?? I was here for both of MY children! Yes,I have always had mental issues! I have always told my doctor about them,and actively sought help for them. I do my best to completely spoil both of my daughters,maybe because I had it so rough coming up. I also have told both of my girls all along that there is a very cruel world outside our little two acres,and no one gives a damn if they make it or not!

              That sounds mean,I know. But you know as well as I do,it is the naked truth. No one gives a damn if you live or die. I happen to be one of those people. Everyone I walk past is just a "blip". A light waiting to be extinguished. Just fools taking up space in MY world. Don't look to me for help if you stumble in the world...no one ever gave me anything,why should I give YOU anything? If I don't know ya,screw ya! I couldn't care less if you drew another breath.  This hasbeen made very clear to both of my daughters. NO ONE outside this family will help you.

                People certainly love to kick you when you are down. It seems like a sport these days. A sport without any referees,that is. People killing other people,stealing millions from people,and other heinous crimes,only to buy their way out of trouble with high-priced lawyers. Some doctors say that I am the sick one....get real! They say that I am paranoid,cynical,cold-hearted.....whatever. I prefer to say that I am a realist...I see things just as they are. No sugar-coating,just cold,hard,truth.