Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Time Away...

I'm back!! Gather 'round, my children.Come hear my tales, and see just what I have been up to!! As some of you know, I am a moderator at another site(aol says I can't list it...don't want to make them mad). I am there to help people with an addiction. I am not paid for this...I do it for them for free...I don't try to sell anything. I, along with others try to help people along in their quits, as much as we can. Well, in the last few days, we "lost" one. Not so much "lost", as she seems to have been banned from the site.

       Why do I care? Well, I theorize that she was going through a tough time,and had become combative. She picked "fights" with just about everyone on the site. I see more than most people. I tend NOT to look at just the surface. There is ALWAYS more to something than what you see at the top....something simmering just below the surface. I think this was the case with her. I tried to talk with her, but ended up with the same attitude as everyone else;just leave her alone, and she will go away. That is wrong. I feel like we turned our backs on someone who needed help.

          The powers that be say no...she was disruptive...causing trouble. I know that...I saw a lot of it from her. I can't explain why, but it seemed as if she were just looking for trouble most of the time. I can relate to this. If you have read ANY of this journal, then you know I was the stereotypical "Badass" in my younger years. I actually KNOW what her attitude is all about. I KNOW there is something below the surface. I mentioned once that she might want to get some help. I was trying to be "delicate" with her. She asked "what" she needed help with.

         Still,she will be missed by me. She was of the mind that I didn't like her, and turned everyone against her. She was WAYYYY off base. I only wanted to get at what was REALLY bothering her....everyone else was just plain afraid of "setting her off". I know that she reads here sometimes. I hope she reads this, too.

         Is this a way to clear my mind of her? NO. I WANT her to see this...I WANT her to read it. I want her to get mad, mad enough to tell me what is wrong. You need a starting point for every journey....let yours begin here, my friend. Come to me...confide in me. I have NEVER told a single word of anything you ever said to me. My INTEGRITY demands that I not reveal your name. I will wait for you......as long as it takes.

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