In Praise of Carburetors

Hello, again. How are you doing? Ok, shut up, it was a rhetorical question! I have noticed of late, a disturbing trend. It seems that more and more people want to pull out in front of us in traffic, or cut us off too short. After having made this observation, I came up with a theory as to just why these things are happening more frequently...carburetors...or the lack thereof. Let me explain.

 

       You see, back in the good old days of gas guzzling v-8 engines, nearly every vehicle came with a  carburetor. If you are unfamilliar with this device, let me explain it very simply for you; a carburetor sat atop an engine and mixed fuel and air in just the right amounts to make your vehicle go. Nowadays it is done with far more precision using computers and fuel injectors. With the new way to meter fuel and air comes a distinct problem...no hesitation.

 

         Can you remember back when sometimes you stepped on the gas in the good old days, and your car would "stumble", or hesitate? You were far less likely to pull out in front of that 18 wheeler, knowing you might very well be killed! This is where my theory comes into play...bear with me here.

 

              With todays cars having no carbs, there is no hesitation, therefore no fear of dying. If some of these idiots had made these same mistakes a few years ago, when cars had carburetors, they surely would have died! But, by the use of computers and fuel injectors, these idiots are allowed to live, no matter how poorly they might drive.

 

             So then, that is my theory. I look at the carburetor as mankind's Lion of the Sarengetti...something to "thin the herd" as it were. We have eliminated this "Lion", thereby insuring our survival, and that of the clueless driver, also!