You MUST be Jokin'!!

Welcome, children, to another day in the 51st state; the State of Confusion! Many of us live here, none of us wants to!! Have you ever had "one of those days"? Well, yesterday went far beyond that!! I have had some strange days, to be sure, in my nearly 45 years on this little rock that we call Earth---yesterday surpassed MANY of them in sheer sublimity(is that even a word?).

 My wife had the day off from her job, so she decided to take me for lunch. Never one to pass up a free meal, I went with her! We headed to our favorite Mexican restaurant, sat down, and proceeded to order. Now, I went "light", with just a Taco Salad, my wife wanted something more "substantial", and ordered something with lots of meat in it. What happened next has NO BEARING on the fact that these waiters are Mexican. There is a slight language barrier there, but that is usually easily overcome.

 My wife ordered sweet-tea for a drink with her meal, I made the mistake of ordering coffee. This is sometimes a real bother for the waiters...they don't serve coffee here. I believe that I am the only person who orders it! I know it will un-failingly be "instant" coffee. The water is put into a cup, and the whole thing is 'nuked' in a microwave oven untill even the cup is the temperture of the sun! Then it is brought to you.

 Maybe the planets were mis-aligned yesterday, or the moon was in the wrong phase, or lady luck just wanted to fuck with my head, I may never know the reason why. What I got yesterday when I ordered coffee was a cup of HOT WATER! I sat there, playing with it, making jokes like "sure is thin coffee", or that it must be that new "stealth coffee", or "coffee light".

 At this point, my wife is freakin' out trying to get me to "shut the hell up". I thought it was funnier than hell!! I have always watched other people in public. I can tell you just what kind of person they are by how they treat service persons. If you are an ass with people trying to wait on, and serve you, then you are an ass pretty much all of the time.

 But wait, there's MORE!!! The waiter comes BACK with a small jar of 'Folgers Instant Coffee'. He sets the jar down, and leaves!!! Of course, other people saw this, and their mouths were agape. They were actually shocked, and, for once in their lives, they were speechless!! Well, I can tell you right now, I did what ANY bad-ass Biker would have done---I asked if they needed help on the grill!!!!!!!!!!! Or, maybe they needed help washing dishes!!! If they didn't have time to make ONE cup of coffee, I figured they could use the help!!!!!

 Everyone in the place was stunned!! Looking at me, they all expected to see a big ol' scene, complete with maybe a few punches being thrown. I had one of the best laughs I have had in just about forever!! I laughed so hard I nearly pissed my pants! Of course, my wife was suitably embarassed. I just can't figure out WHY?? She knew the job was dangerous when she married me!!!!!

 I don't get it...anyone else there would have thrown a fit, and walked out. What have people become? They take everything personally. Maybe they should spend a few days waiting tables! Look, folks, life offers far more moments of pain and suffering than humor. When life gives you the chance to laugh, even just for a moment, take it! It might help later on, down the road.

Be true to yourself, but be civil to others.