Friday, June 22, 2012

Having a Low Day

Hi, guys and girls, the old dragonmaster is back once again! I have a love for Dragons that stretches as far back as my early childhood. I used to make my mom put on Peter Paul and Mary singing "Puff the Magic Dragon" every damn night when I went to bed! Even though my mother was afflicted with a mental illness, there were some good times every now and then.

          I, unfortunately, inherited that same mental illness. I am Bi-Polar, and suffer from depression. I don't think I have ever posted it that plainly here before. So, there it is...the eight hundred pound gorilla in the room! Sometimes it is hard to overlook it; sometimes I can get by. Sometimes not. Imagine a large dump truck parked on your chest...that is how it feels sometimes. Oh! I haven't even mentioned the panic attacks that spring up at the worst times!!!

             Add to the fact that I live in Mississippi. The WORST STATE for trying to get help with a mental illness. Aside from other "normal" people making fun of you and laughing at what is arguably a real problem! I just say "fuck 'em". They will never know the pain in my heart, and the voices in my head telling me to harm them! I can go from a slow boil to a seething rage in an instant. I just want to destroy everything in sight. Imagine trying to control that with no help. Ok, enough crying about something that cannot be fixed. You guys and girls keep your shit together...maybe tomorrow will be better!

                                                       Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

1 comment:

Steve said...

Glad you're posting again. Was a lurker at the old smokeaway site. Hope you feel better soon. Steve