Saving the Planet(Riiiiight!)

Well, since we are saving all of that money on our insurance, how about we buy a "green" car? Hmmm? What was that, you already drive an electric? Shame on you, and on all of those stupid-assed movie stars that tell you what to drive!

 

     Take your basic, average electric car, and what does it need? Well, electricity, for one thing! Well, let's just see how "green" our little car is. Wait, it has no gas engine, so it emits ZERO hydrocarbons! Really? When you plug it in, where does the electricity come from? Magic? No. It comes from the power company, the same power company that burns COAL to make that electricity! That's right, COAL. The epitome of hydro carbons! Carbon itself! Clean? I think not!

 

       A better alternative? Ethanol. In 2006, we took the equivalent of the emmissions of 1.2 million cars out of the atmosphere just by burning Ethanol. And that was only SOME OF US! Don't be mislead by what others tell you. Movie stars always want to lend their names to things, and they don't have a clue what they are talking about! Most of them should just show a picture of their ass when they are speaking, that is where most of what they are saying comes from, anyway.

 

      Questions, comments, snide remarks? You know where to find me!

Saving Money with Geico

So, if I switch my car insurance to Geico, I can save about $350:00 per year, AND, it is so easy, a caveman could do it! So, after that, if I switch to Allstate, they promise another savings of at least $350:00 also! The way I figure it, if I switch twice, they will actually PAY ME to have insurance! You just can't beat that deal!

     Now, the way that I see things, this is a good deal for me, and for the rest of you, as well! If I continue to wait for two more years, when I turn 50, I can sign up with the AARP Insurance, and save up to $500:00 per year! Why worry about being "taken care of" in your later years? According to these idiots, we can all have auto coverage, AND get paid as well!!!! Sign me up!

      On the homefront, I am still sick with whatever it was that I had! Anytime I stand up, I am dizzy as hell. I still have a little cough, although not as bad as before. Thank Goodness I quit smoking! I think this sickness, plus smoking, would have killed me this time around! My doctor is quitting her practice. She has been seeing me since 1993! I HATE CHANGING DOCTORS! You spend all those  years getting used to one person, and they quit on you! Well, she IS 71 years old, and she needs a rest. I know that she routinely puts in 16 hour days, and maybe more at times.

           That should catch you up for a bit, now. Stay out of trouble, and you know just where to find me if you want to!

 

;-) Holla' If You Hear Me!!! ;-)

Sick Days

Hey, there. I am finally getting back to normal, thanks to contracting the flu this past weekend. Nasty little bug, that one! Kept me down very well indeed! Well, my youngest daughter showed me just WHY she is my daughter the other day when she said to me, "hey, pop, guess what?" I said, "ok, I'll bite, what"?  "People are like 'Slinkys'; dull, boring, seemingly devoid of fun, but, they both still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs!" I love that kid! Here are a few more for your amusement....

 

Spreading the Stupidity...

Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America.....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America.....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America ......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering

AND DO YOU EVER WONDER...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

"Bad" Americans

Thanks To Ms. Jean For This One!!!

 

     YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN
 
I Am the Liberal-Progressives Worst Nightmare. I am an American.
 
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some Liberal governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!
I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!
 
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything.
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, do it in English.
 
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to.
My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled Jerry Springer.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
 
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time watching or arguing about it.
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I haven't burned any witches or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut up already.
I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country! This is AMERICA.
 
If you were born here and don't like it you are free to move to any Socialist country that will have you.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse Jackson preaches, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?
  I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry rear if you're running from them..
I also think they have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what color you are.
And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I think it's good..... And I'm proud that "God" is written on my money.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the next four years.
I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two parents.
I believe "illegal" is illegal no matter what the lawyers think.
I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA!
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.
 
If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you know.

We want our country back!

Just Killin' Time

...That's right, you saw it. I am actually listening to music again. I am trying to desperately lift the veil of depression. Imagine if you will that a fully loaded dump truck has been parked on top of you, and you must lift it off. You can see my dilemma.

       I am trying so hard to come out of this. Everyone knows that my wife did this to me, and that it was already there, she just made it so much worse. Enough about her, she doesn't deserve the "air time" that she gets! I could say plenty, but it just isn't worth it. Is she forgiven? I don't know just yet, mostly not.

        It also seems that my far-ranging, drunk little muse has come back to me. Everything in my life is female...wife, muse, daughters, granddaughter, mother-in-law, and the memory of my murdered mother. I seem to be drowning in Estrogen!!! At least I have a grandson waiting in the wings! Not to sound conceited, but I know that the little guy just loves coming to see Pop-Pop! And I love him, too!

        I have gone back to a favorite saying of mine lately..."Never intefere in the Affairs of Dragons, for you are Crunchy, and Taste Good with Ketchup!

      

Music (Or the Lack Thereof)

Music...what has it become? Where are the days of music actually speaking to us? What happened to bands like the Beatles? Jim Croce, Lynyrd Skynyrd, America, Boston, for goodness' sake? What does today's music say to us? We are skinny little post-modern assholes living on trust funds?

 

     Screw that mess! What can some little 17 year old tell me about life? I am 47 years old...an ex-biker, a total rocker, and completely hardcore in any way that you can think of! Keep your little whiny ass at home with your mama! Give me a hard-drivin' beat, along with a few shots of whiskey, and make me believe that a woman broke your heart. Not that you are reading off of a sheet of lyrics!

 

        Give me Aerosmith saying that "the rabbit done died", and make me think about what that means! Give me some "Sweet Emotions" to wear out on my sleeve! Give me Ted Nugent saying that he has "Cat-Scratch Fever", and all that that entails! Tell me that you need "Three Steps Mister", and just why you need them! Tell me about the "Four Walls of Raiford Prison", and how you have spent a lifetime there!

 

       Tell me that you rode a "Horse With No Name" across the desert, and why you did so! Make me believe that you have seen the inside of a lot of bar-rooms, and that you have spit out at least ONE TOOTH there! Make me believe that you have been alive! And sit down and shut the hell up if you are only 17 or 18 years old!

Robbing Wal-Mart Blind

So, there we were in Wal-Mart a couple of weeks ago, Me, my wife, and the youngest girl. I was in the computer-games section, daydreaming, when my youngest comes over and says that a lady will sell her some phone cards at a discount.  I tell her to ask her mom if it is ok. I had no idea that this "lady" did not work at Wal-Mart!

 

  You see, the cards that they purchased were shop-lifted just seconds before, and were therefore no good, as they had not been activated by a Wal-Mart employee! My wife chases the "lady" down, and threatens her with multiple personal injuries, and is able to recover her money! I, in the meantime, tell one of the boys in electronics(where the cards were lifted) to get security on the hook, and get this broad before she leaves the store. They at least had her for shop-lifting!

 

    "No can do, dude! We used to have a security guy, but he quit sometime ago!" WHAT???? This is a Wal-Mart SuperCenter!!! There are literally cameras everywhere you look?!?!?! My mind was reeling! My first thought was..."just HOW MANY GUYS can I get in here robbing this place blind!" But my next thought was "EX_BIKER, dude, EX! Man, twenty years ago, that place would have been stripped! And I wouldn't have felt bad about doing it! Especially after hearing that there is NO SECURITY?!?!?! Man, me and a few of my ex-buds would have cleared that place out!

 

       So, if you are in Wal-Mart, be careful. I was told that they would not cover the price you paid for the cards...it would just be written off as your loss, even if it took place in the store! Knowing what I know now, I would recover my losses on my own!!!