Right? Left? Middle?

So, a few weeks ago I was asked where I stand politically, left, right, or conservative. Well, I had to do some research. What I found was this; If you support the Left, then you are a liberal, tree-hugging nut! If you support the Right, you are some kind of Bible-Thumpin', ultra conservative mid-western housewife!!  Hmmmm...

        So, there I was, in this dilemma, with no answer forthcoming. Then it hit me right between the eyes!! I am somewhere in the middle. I am a "MOR"...middle of the roader!! I don't lean toward either side, I just sort of bend in the direction that works for me.

         It works like this; I don't believe in "Gay Rights". I believe in human rights. If you are gay, that is fine with me. I don't think you need to have a parade every year to show off. I cannot think of a single instance where a bunch of hetrosexuals got together and said,"let's have a parade every year to show that we have sex with our partners". But, on the other hand, I don't think you should be locked up for being gay---China, however, would be happy to lock up all of their gays. They say that they can be "re-educated".  Ummm, yeah, ok.

         I'm not gay-bashing, just giving you an idea of who I am. Now, for the other side. I do not blame rock-n-roll, rap, grunge, funk, fusion, jazz, punk, disco, classic, or any other kind of music for the ills of our youth. Nor video games, nor television. Sit up straight, and catch this one---it is the parents! That's right, bad parenting, nothing more, nothing less.

           I do not believe animals have "rights". Too many people believe that they do. Here is most of the problem in a nut shell; Hollywood. That's right, Hollywood, that bastion of clean, conservative living, where every "star" has a "cause" to bring to the attention of the people. Half of them have no idea what they are talking about. C'mon, folks, they are "actors", not scientists. Once a star lends his/her name to a cause, people will throw money at it all day long! Get real.

             Ok, so I'm not left, and I'm not right,(probably in more ways than one). I am just little ol' me. I still think the drinking age should be 18. I say if you can send young men (and now, women), to die, they should be allowed to drink. I think convicted felons should never be allowed to vote...ever. I believe in the right to own firearms, as long as I don't shoot my neighbors, or try to rob them.

             I believe in Mom, Apple Pie, and the sanctity of the American Family. That means two people of different sexes, by the way. I grew up in the sixties, and saw my share of hippies, yippies, and whatever else you wanted to call them. Hell, I am one! But the sixties are over, so let's just go on with our lives. And, no, dolphins have never spoken to me, same goes for whales, too.

         So, like I said, I am a "MOR", and I think I like it in the "middle of the road"....it makes it easy to dodge all the bullshit, no matter which side it comes from!!!

 

Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

The Loss of a Mentor

 Last week, there was a funeral in my town. A lady was buried. I only found out about it yesterday. So what, a lady was buried, that's nothing new. Ahh, but let me tell you about this particular lady.........

         She worked at our pitiful little Library. I have known her for at least 20 years. The first time I ever saw her, I was asking for a library card. She informed me that she did not  issue library cards to just any idiot who came in off the streets. I informed her that I was no ordinary idiot, I actually planned on using my card! I guess my charm won her over.

         Our Librarian could be tough at times. But, come on, you expect that from a Librarian, right? She could also be the sweetest person you could meet. She retired from the library just last year. She lived alone, having lost her husband a few years ago. Why was she a "Mentor"? Read on.

            In the summer of 2001, I decided that I really wanted to understand computers, and that whole "world-wide-web" thing. I thought about how neat it would be if someone like me could actually talk with the entire world! Someone told me that our library had a couple of old computers, and that I could learn there. Since I can walk to the library in only three minutes from my house, this seemed like a good thing.

         My oldest daughter told me to go there, and just click on the "Internet Explorer" icon, and I would be hooked up! Nothing is ever that simple. She forgot to mention that you need to "double-click"...a most unfortunate circumstance. At least our librarian noticed that I was struggling.

          So, out of all her other duties at the public library, this lady now decided to help this "idiot" sitting staring at a blank screen. She showed me how to set up an E-mail address with Yahoo,(it was free), and she taught me about passwords, and how to surf the "web". By the time she was finished with me that first day, I was throughly confused. But, I was learning. All of my life has been learning, and somehow, she understood that. No matter that this was too much information all at once, she knew some of it would stick.

         Needless to say, I was intrigued, no, more like STOKED!!! I had to learn more! And our librarian was only too happy to teach me. Without her, you would never be reading this. I would go back from time to time, and learn a little more. But, there was something wrong, something holding me back. It was fear, the fear of "breaking" something. Screwing something up so badly that I wouldn't be allowed to come back.

         In February of 2003, I took care of those fears; I bought my own, brand new computer. Now, if I screwed it up, at least I could call for technical help from the internet provider. Now, I could truly be on my own.(I would soon enough discover inter-net porno---strange). Because of this one librarian, I learned a new skill. I was able to teach that skill to my wife, and my youngest child. That one librarian opened the world to us.

           There won't be any parades at this person's passing. No monument to her life, no fabled stories of her to pass on down through the generations. But you can be sure that she will be missed. At least I was thoughtful enough to go back while she was still working, and tell her just how thankful I was to her. She taught me something useful, and never asked for a single thing in return. I hope that my gratitude for this skill was enough for her, it sure seems a small pittance for what she gave me. We miss you Librarian. Maybe I will see you again, sometime.

 

Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

"On Being 'Buzzed'".....

   Well, I finally did it...I had a few too many beers, and here I am, a good buzz going, and nowhere to use it. Although, the wife is getting some "funny" looks from me....hehehehe.

         I haven't been buzzed in so long, I almost forgot what it feels like! I wouldn't say that I am "falling down drunk", but I wouldn't try to operate a motor vehicle right now! Somehow, this takes me back to my teen years, and the feeling of constantly being buzzed. I took being buzzed seriously back then. A case of beer, and a few "joints", and I was on my way to a good buzz. Yeah, I was hardcore back then.

            I can do without the "weed" these days. Someone told me that a "J" costs about $5.00 these days!! Damn! I can remember when one cost about fifty cents!!! Hell, for $5.00, you could buy a GOOD bag of weed!! We called it a "nickel bag". Next was a dime bag, then a "lid" for around $15.00 or $20.00. After that, you were asking for an "oz"...an ounce. That was around $40.00! You would go broke smoking these days!!

          Yes, I am one of a dying breed. I have lived during the time of "cheap weed"!!! A time when everyone smoked, and it wasn't considered so bad. Hell, I can remember girls in high-school coming up and saying, "want to smoke one before the next class?". It was common for nearly everybody in your school to be "holding". Someone nearly always had a joint to share. Good times, bro, good times.

           But, we all grow up, unfortunately, and aspire to "greater things". I never grew up, but I did try to acheive greatness. I think I have succeeded. Am I famous? No. Am I rich? No. Am I Internationally known? I hope not!

          No, I am just me, and as far as I am concerned, that is my greatest accomplishment! We must be true to ourselves. When all is said and done, and the day is over, we MUST be true to ourselves. I guess my ramble is over for today.

 

Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Another "Blast From the Past"

  Looking back in my mind's eye, I am 16. It is a cool autumn evening, and I was restless. My Uncle asks "what's eating you?". I really can't tell just what is wrong at the time, so I just tell him I am going for a ride. I am hoping to shake out some cob-webs, I guess. He gives me a look...I've seen it before...he knows something that I don't. But I fear that I soon will know what he knows.

        I throw on my leathers, and walk out to the custom little black Sportster sitting in the drive. The sun is just going down, and it's rays are dancing off the chrome parts of the bike. I pull on my helmet, straddle the bike, and I pause to just look around. I don't know why, I just do. I flip the shut-off valve on the gas tank, turn on the key, and fold out the kick-starter pedal. After a couple of "priming" kicks, she coughs, and roars to life.

             "She" has what we used to call "shorty pipes". No baffles, so all of the throaty sound of her engine can be heard for miles around. At the sound of the bike coming to life, my mood seems to change. I can't wait to get out on the road, to feel the wind in my face. I want to hit the four-lane, and just twist the throttle untill I bust the return spring in it! I walk her backwards, out of the drive, and into the street. First gear, and with just a few too many revs, she leaves a beautiful black stripe in the street. I love her, and I think that she loves me.

          Once I am on the four-lane, I head west....chasing the setting sun. I know, even with the mighty engine throbbing  between my legs, that I can never catch it. Who gives a shit!! Chase it anyway. All of us are chasing something we will never catch. And, yet, we never seem to give up on the chase; go figure.

           I head west for most of the night. I finally pull over in some podunk town for gas, and to turn around and head east. I watched the sun set on my "girl", and dammit, I want to see it come up, also. Just a little later, the sun comes up, and everything in my world stops....it's beautiful. I let out a war-cry, and twist the throttle untill it just won't go anymore. If I had ANY WAY to describe these feelings to you, dear reader, believe me, I would. It is simply something that must be experienced. I feel I have been extremely fortunate to have had that opportunity.

          I get back to my Uncle's house sometime after first light. He is up, making coffee, and smiling at me. He knows what I have just done. I know at some point, he has already did it. We sit down to our coffee, and he asks, "did you find what you went looking for?". I nod.

         I look him right in the eye, and say, "I find what I am looking for every time I straddle that machine, Steve, every time". He just keeps smiling that all-knowing smile of his.

 

Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Tough Week all Around---

  More bombings in London-town, high heat in Arizona, and cranky kids here all week, with high heat here, also!! I would say it was a tough week for all concerned!! But the weekend is here, and I have a couple of cold brews, and some ribs on the grill....I will be fine in a few hours!

          As for the rest of you working stiffs...kick back, and take a few minutes to just cool your jets for a bit. Maybe I can put a smile on your face for a little while!

         My youngest daughter asked, "Dad, how do we know that you love us"?? Now, as most of you know, I am not the "huggy-feely" type of guy. So, I tell her, "You are still breathing, right?". My girls don't hug me, nor I them, it is just the way it is. They both are old enough that something like that no longer appeals to them.

           My grandchildren still want hugs and kisses, and I oblige them, knowing full well that they will get older, and NOT want the same later on. That is fine for me. It seems to work for me.

             At the same time, I know people who, even if they don't like you, want to hug, and be your friend when you are near them. Ahhh, but wait untill you leave out of hearing range, and they will talk about you to anyone who will listen!! You all know the type....don't you just want to beat the crap out of them??

          I cannot stand that type of person. If I don't like you, I DO NOT bow to "social graces"....if you are not liked, you will know it. For me, this includes about 99% of the general population. I have said before that I am a 1%-er. I will always be that way. I don't like anyone...I won't hurt people I don't like (unless there is money in it), I just don't "socialize" with them.

           So, how do people around me know if they are loved?? They are still breathing, aren't they??

 

Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Just another Day

  So, here I am, beer in hand, and nothing in my brain! Just the way I like it, really. It is a rare time when someone like me can sit down and completely clear their mind. Normally, there are about a million things going on in there. But, sometimes, everything just sort of fades away...it is a beautiful experience, believe me!!

            I see where Mr. Rove is still in trouble over the C.I.A. scandal? Now, is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that the C.I.A. operative's husband is a Senator, and at the time that this happened,(leaking his wife's name), the Honorable Senator was questioning the decision to go to war with Iraq over Weapons of Mass Destruction that were never found? But, hey, maybe it's just me??

            My grandchildren have left for the day...I would never drink beer in front of them, or anything else for that matter. I think in a few minutes, I shall  put in my favorite racing video-game, and take on the computer. Challenging the pc is fun, but predictable. Human counter-parts are far more challenging. The computer does the exact same thing every time, humans are "flawed", and almost never repeat their actions.

          Doesn't matter anyway, none of my friends can beat me at racing. I suck at fighting games, and TOTALLY RULE at role playing games!! Star Ocean, Final Fantasy, The Bard's Tale, you name it. I own just over 80 PS2 games at this time...with more to come.

          OK, so for a day with nothing to say, I have managed to ramble on for quite a bit. I think I will have a few more beers, and hopefully give the computer a fighting chance to beat me!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA.......(laughing maniacally)

 

                Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Stupid People

........So, there I am, standing in line at the not-so-local Wal-Mart, waiting to  check out. My wife and youngest daughter are with me, naturally. Ahead of me, there is a young lady,(20-ish), she has maybe 10 items. This should go very quickly, I start to think....I was very wrong.

           It seems that the lady working the register is a life-long friend of the young lady, and they have picked this precise moment to start catching up on missed time!! Let me just go ahead and get this out of the way; Women talk too damn much! Every man says it....there is a reason for it!

          Ok, so, I think to myself, "self, Wal-Mart wants it's personnell to be courteous to the customers, so overlook this transgression onto your time". With that in mind, I stand patiently as these two "ladies" decide it takes 15 minutes to check out 10 or 11 items. I am fairly pissed-off by the time the total is finally tallied, but I continue to bite my tongue. By my way of seeing things, the wait is finally over......hmmmm.

               When she is told the total, the young lady all of a sudden says,"Oh, I want to write a check!!!!".  I just damn near exploded into one of the worst cussing tirades anyone has ever heard, but there is a swift, and somewhat painfull kick to my ankle. You guessed it....the ever-vigilant wife is on duty! I'm not sure just how she knew, but my wife KNEW what was coming next from me, hence the kick.

              I mean, c'mon on!! Is this the FIRST TIME this chick has been to a store? What the hell was she doing for the last 15 minutes?? She could have been making the check out during that time. Hell, I could have written a friggin' NOVEL in that amount of time!! And, what the hell, Wal-Mart fills out the check for you! All you really need to do is sign it! But, no! This chick takes another 10 minutes to fill it out completely, talking all the time!!

           By this time, the fact that this "girl" is BLONDE is starting to sink in! I casually point this out to my wife, who promptly tells me to shut up....you know, sort of through her clenched teeth!! I also noticed that the young girl DID NOT buy any chewing gum. That was a good thing, because she would SURELY have had to sit down to chew it!!  (for those of you who might be as challenged as this young lady, I was saying that there is NO WAY that she could "chew gum and walk at the same time"!!!)

            Oh well, there is always tomorrow.....and other stupid people!

 

Holla' If You Hear Me!!!