New Poem---08-18-2004

.....................What the Dragon Saw.............................   He had money, and women by the score, He could never want for anything more. His King called to him one dark day, "The people have seen a Dragon,make it go away". He replied, "as you wish, my Liege, He'll die quicker than a castle under siege".   So, he rode out, this Magnificent Slayer of Beasts, He rode many days, to the East. Of course the Dragon heard him from miles away, He knew he would eat well this day!   This Slayer, so bold and brave, Rode right up to the Dragon's cave! In the air hung the smell of sulfur and Death, He knew this to be the Dragon's Breath.   He shouted, "What ho, Dragon, I've come to end your life, Then I'll take the King's daughter as my wife!" The Dragon replied, "Thou art truly brave, but foolish at best, If you mean to kill me,then you most surely jest!!"   But the Slayer persisted,not knowing all was lost, This Dragon feared him not, his heart was  cold as frost! That fight didn't last even a minute, The Dragon ate him before he could begin it!   Now, I tell you this tale so true, It is a small gift from me to you. You should never make a Dragon mad, you see 'Cause that Dragon Slayer tasted good to ME!!!!   ..................John F. Goodson, Jr..............................                     08-18-2004

WELCOME TO THE LAND OF "CONFORMITY"!!!

"Welcome to the Land of Conformity". What qualifies me to say such a thing? Welllllll, glad you asked!! Gather 'round, kiddies. Listen to my tale of woe...of my disgust with the human race at large!! And I have a message from a friend of mine, HER NAME I WILL USE!!!  I really like this friend for speaking her mind! I have never met her face to face...but she is like me...NO BULLSHIT! She tells you just like it is! She has had my back more than once in cyber-space! I know if a shot comes at me from behind, she is my wing-man here on the'net!! So far she is an ACE!  Stand up!! GIve it up for  MICHELLE!!!!!! Later on, I will have a lesson from her to add to this.

  This past Sunday, I had the Honor of going with my lovely wife to our local "town", about 30 miles from where I live. The name of the town?? Believe me, you have never heard of it. While we were in a large chain-store,I refuse to use their name, and advertise for them for free.I will say this...they have stuff wall-toWal,and are a very large Mart! So, here we are walking around. My wife is shopping, I,on the other hand, am messing with the security people who ALWAYS start to follow me as soon as I come through the door!

       I look "different" to them. Different enough that I warrant at LEAST THREE security people whenever I walk in!! While all of this is going on, I notice an inordinate number of people staring at me...MORE than usual. I asked my wife if I had something on me...no,not that. Then I noticed...they are all in "Church clothes"! That's it!! This "Abomination of Humankind" has actually DARED to show up on "their day"...the day that everyone pretends to be one big happy family. To CONFORM!  Dress nice,go to church,then go to the local restaraunt. CONFORM...CONFORM...EVERYONE BE THE SAME...ZOMBIES OF SOCIETY.  I did NOT belong, I did NOT CONFORM!!!  Had I NO SHAME?? There I was, muscle shirt, large arms,hairy, tattooed,beard,black pants and shirt, black do-rag with flames,large chain wallet. all five feet ten inches, 250 pounds of me, In all my shining glory!!  GOD HELP THEM ALL, I was "different!! This just could not be!!

     You could have taken the top off of the whole place, and spotted me in one second!! I watched them, these "conformists", and the ONLY thing that cameto mind was..."DANCE,MONKEYS,DANCE!!!".  I swear that I saw puppet-strings on all of them. They were plastic, fake,zombies. Stepford Wives?? Hell, even THEY would have been out of place!! Now I know just WHY I sleep in on Sundays!! Not a single person stood out that morning....NOT ONE!!! It was literally a huge bowl of vanilla pudding,and a fly had just landed smack-dab in the middle of it! That much conformity is just too much for me! I made jokes about every single one of them!!

        I swear, if a young guy with a Mohawk haircut came in, I would have made him run up and down the aisles with me, just to scare the shit out of some of them!!!! I think NOW is a good time for Michelle to give today's lesson.

         Michelle says: "Conformity makes slaves of us all!! When Chaos reigns, Anarchy RULEZ!!! And I will be on the front lines screaming "Anarchy, Anarchy, Anarchy"........OK, Michelle, I think they get the idea.

        No, I DO NOT conform to the everyday rules. I never have, why should I now? Say something stupid to me, expect to get smacked. Expect me to look like you? Riiiiiight! Get a life!!  This country was built on the very foundation that "AMERICANS" did NOT conform to BRITISH RULE!!!  So, Dance, Monkeys, Dance!! But I hear a different drummer.....so does Michelle, and lots of others like us!! My wife doesn't conform, my daughters don't, my grandchildren will not conform!!

         Look at me---I shouldn't write poetry,hell, I shouldn't even be able to make short sentences!!  But I do...I am soo much more than what you see,I just DON'T look like YOU!!!  Please put money in Michelle's hat as you leave....she has a daughter to support!!

Society Sucks---ALL OF IT!!!

     Saturday night,9:49 pm.,central daylight savings time. Very cool out tonight. Both daughters, and my granddaughter are at the county fair. Grandson is sleeping in the back bedroom. It doesn't get any better than this. Some of you know that I am currently a Moderator at another site, a commercial site. I don't sell things there,I give advice. Sort of a big, ugly, mean,male Ann Landers!  lol

          Gather 'round kids. Let me show you just how a "help site" can spiral out of control, and watch as the people who STARTED that website quickly jump ship....to keep their own sanity!!  Oh, did I mention that I am not paid anything for spending ALL DAY there? I do this voluntarily, 'cause I am such a good person!! You can just stop that giggling in the back right now! I see you.

          We have grown people(and I use that term VERY loosely) who act like 3 year olds. No, that is an insult to the toddlers. Sorry, kids. Take this for example. We had a person causing trouble on the site. Being rude, calling people names,showing PRIVATE E-MAILS to other members,just generally being an ass. I am guessing here, But I am pretty sure this person was banned. I felt sorry for them, but they went to the top people of the site, and got back on! I was told that this person---let's call them X for short---even doctored E-mails that they recieved, to contain MORE than what was in them!  Mind you, now, NO ONE pays a single penny to be here! It is totally FREE...and this person--X-- would go through all of this trouble? Just to stay on a FREE website??  Shit, X, sign me up for some of what you are smoking!!

     Now I find out that one of my friends,an admin,is resigning over this shit! You MUST be kidding me! The people who own the site want the mods, and admins to keep order, and maintain some sense of civility....yet they cut our throats at every turn!! How can you make a site work when it is in chaos, and the only people that HAVE control, DON'T have control?? Thanks, Company Yes-Men!! Hell, please screw us some more!! Here are some condoms, take us to town!!

         Now, X isn't the only problem...there are others,believe me. I just don't understand something. We were told to delete "bad" posts...ones that are disruptive, and someone "flaming" someone else on the boards. Makes good sense to me. Problem is, if a post gets deleted, there are two or three people who cry foul everytime. Here's an idea....CALL THE MANAGEMENT!!!! Oh, right, they are quitting as I speak!! Better idea...call the company that owns the sight....they seem to be great at screwing up things....see what they can do for YOUR little whining asses!!

           Don't get me wrong, I have made some life-long friends there! People that I really like. But there are a few that I wouldn't let feed my dog...and HE is lazy and worthless!!  If anyone from the parent company of the site reads this....TALK TO YOUR MODS-----TALK TO YOUR ADMINS!!!!  And when you do(if ever) LISTEN TO WHAT THEY SAY!!!

           I, for one, am tired of getting bashed by these little pansy assed fools on the site. Not a SINGLE ONE of them would try that shit in real-life! After ONE LOOK at me, 2/3rds would run...the other 1/3rd will shortly see their folly!!  I was trained in hand to hand combat in the Army...I was a professional wrestler for a short time,and I was brought up in a Motorcycle gang. This isn't braggin', hell, I wish I had an easier life...but this is me,these are my qualifications. I prefer to talk things out...but if push comes to shove,it is good to know that you can shove harder than the next guy!!

         Good-night, my children. Remember; "Don't sweat the petty stuff,and don't pet the sweatty stuff!!!". Have a good one, guys, I am outta here!!

Time Away...

I'm back!! Gather 'round, my children.Come hear my tales, and see just what I have been up to!! As some of you know, I am a moderator at another site(aol says I can't list it...don't want to make them mad). I am there to help people with an addiction. I am not paid for this...I do it for them for free...I don't try to sell anything. I, along with others try to help people along in their quits, as much as we can. Well, in the last few days, we "lost" one. Not so much "lost", as she seems to have been banned from the site.

       Why do I care? Well, I theorize that she was going through a tough time,and had become combative. She picked "fights" with just about everyone on the site. I see more than most people. I tend NOT to look at just the surface. There is ALWAYS more to something than what you see at the top....something simmering just below the surface. I think this was the case with her. I tried to talk with her, but ended up with the same attitude as everyone else;just leave her alone, and she will go away. That is wrong. I feel like we turned our backs on someone who needed help.

          The powers that be say no...she was disruptive...causing trouble. I know that...I saw a lot of it from her. I can't explain why, but it seemed as if she were just looking for trouble most of the time. I can relate to this. If you have read ANY of this journal, then you know I was the stereotypical "Badass" in my younger years. I actually KNOW what her attitude is all about. I KNOW there is something below the surface. I mentioned once that she might want to get some help. I was trying to be "delicate" with her. She asked "what" she needed help with.

         Still,she will be missed by me. She was of the mind that I didn't like her, and turned everyone against her. She was WAYYYY off base. I only wanted to get at what was REALLY bothering her....everyone else was just plain afraid of "setting her off". I know that she reads here sometimes. I hope she reads this, too.

         Is this a way to clear my mind of her? NO. I WANT her to see this...I WANT her to read it. I want her to get mad, mad enough to tell me what is wrong. You need a starting point for every journey....let yours begin here, my friend. Come to me...confide in me. I have NEVER told a single word of anything you ever said to me. My INTEGRITY demands that I not reveal your name. I will wait for you......as long as it takes.

Continued from Friday

       She did it!!!! My wife got a fairly large tattoo on her back,just about on her waist,really low-down. It is a large rose in the center,and vines and leaves spreading outwards,left and right. With some thorns, of course! (Every Rose has it's thorns)---if you are old enough,you will know the reference.

        My poor little mouse is dying today!! Wife couldn't get it to "wake up" when she turned the pc on. I came to take a look, and got him/her to work some. It still gives up every few minutes, and needs to be "smacked around", but it is done with love!!(yeah, right)

         I feel like writing today, so just bear with me!! I think it is from not smoking...which I have not been doing for over eight months now!! I originally started this journal as a testament to not smoking. It just didn't turn out that way! Who wants to read everyday..."I am not smoking today"? Now, that wouldn't get too many readers, would it?

        I have been addicted to drugs, and alcohol when I was younger. I seem to have the wrong personality. Even when my doctor offers pain meds, I refuse them. I KNOW how easy it is to become addicted to things. I finally got some pain pills this past week....that is the first time in over three years, so I should be ok. I have taken only two of them, and let my wife hide them. I don't need to replace one bad habit with another!

           Here is something I have been thinking about lately. I see ads on tv to keep kids off of drugs...everyone does...even the kids. Funny thing, right after I see those ads, I see ads for drugs for grown-ups! These new drugs promise everything. From helping you to "cope" with everyday stress, to turning you into a sexual tyranosauras rex!! Then you have the beer and wine ads. It never ends! "They" stopped the advertising of tobacco products in 1968. But you can still advertise alcohol. I have never heard of someone smoking a cigarette, then driving into a family of four and killing them!!

        What kind of message are we sending to our kids? You can't drink or do drugs untill you have kids of your own....that way you won't have to deal with them! I think it is funny that what was considered "bad" when I was a kid, most folks just look over now a days. I saw a kid who was every bit of nine years old throwing a fit in a store. The whole deal....screaming,crying, begging, hitting his mom....all of it. She was obviously not from around here, because she just "put up" with it. Kind of made me want to go over to her and say "if you won't smack that kid, I will do it for you". No way have either one of my daughters acted like that in public! I will leave a store QUICKLY, and take them to the car! And, yes, they get their little butt spanked!

         Sound cruel to you? Bite me! My girls know enough to respect all people. They say things like M'aam,Sir,please, and thank you! They never mistreat people working in stores, restaraunts, gas stations, wherever they happen to be. They don't look, and point and laugh at people's misfortune...they offer to help. I have seen some of the children that are being raised these days.....we need to get rid of a bunch of them, and start over! That's wrong...we need to beat the shit out of some of these "parents", then the kids would be better....or better off!

         It's strange...you MUST posess a license to drive a vehicle. You MUST demonstrate a WORKING knowledge of said vehicle, and of the rules of traffic laws. You are even made to take a written, and a driving test. Only AFTER you have proven yourself, are you allowed the PRIVILEGE of driving on our streets and roads!  But ANY dumb-ass can have children. I still haven't figured that one out!!

                                            Holla' If You Hear Me!!!

Pain Sucks!

        Been "sick" the last couple of days. It's nothing, just old injuries, and health-related. It seems that for the last two years, my health has rapidly declined. Even one of my close friends said just last week that my health seemed to be slipping. His exact words were that he had never seen me so bad! I told him I loved him, too!

      But, all joking aside, he wasn't far off. Oh well, payment for a younger life wasted, I guess. I never truly understood what people meant when they said that youth is wasted on the young...I do now. All in all, it has been a pretty good week. I am taking my wife today for her third tattoo. Let you know how that turns out later today.

                                             Be cool, people!

This is my Hideout

This is my hideout! This is my hang-out! After a long day, I still can come here, write a little, or just read. Or, I can read other journals. It is good to have a place to come to. A place to think, to be alone, to contemplate things going on. There is no pressure here. No one cares what, or how much I write. It doesen't have to be perfect. I don't have to worry about giving someone the wrong advice, or saying the wrong thing(we all do at some point).

      I don't have to be "politically correct" here. Not that I can insult persons just for fun, but I mean that I can say things here that I cannot say anywhere else. I spend everyday trying to help other people. Not for a living, I don't get paid for it. I speak to people about the dangers of smoking. I know these dangers....I smoked for 30 years, even after my first heart-attack last year in October(2003). That's right, even AFTER something that nearly killed me, I continued to do it! If you are a teen, and are reading this, DON'T SMOKE!!  OK, enough "preaching".

    The temp outside here today has been about 100 degrees!! HOT!! Very hot! I used to like the summers here, the heat, the long growing season...I loved it all. Now, I can't go out in the heat... I used to fish untill the sun was down below the horizon every day. Not anymore. I have to stay in. I still love Fall, and Spring,(except for the tornadoes!). Wait, I got off of the subject...

      See that? It happens all of the time here. I set out to say something, and get completely side-tracked! THAT is the measure of a good hide-out! You can be yourself. You can truly let yourself go. Between this, and my meditation, I can feel completely refreshed in about 30 minutes a day!! I see I had a comment left behind by someone today. Thank you for joining us on this little trip that is my life. The entire journal starts at March 30, or 31 of 2004, if you want to catch up.

       We welcome anyone here....and we, or I, know exactly who you are. Come and explore.....I'll leave the light on!

                                        Holla' If You Hear Me!!!